I don’t want to disrespect my girlfriend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For any BDSM type relationship to work (even if you're just dabbling), both people have to be comfortable. If you are not comfortable calling her xyz, then she has to respect that.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should break up with her. Then give her my number.

Troll.

Op here. I am not a troll. I was raised in a household where you never said such a thing to any woman. We have plenty of kinky sex, it’s huat the actual sl*t word and others that I’m not comfortable with. Don’t call me a troll just because I am not a pig.

But you said you'd be fine saying it to "random" women. So are you only not a pig to women you know and love?

[Anonymous]

If it helps, I'm not into this exact thing but have similar tendencies myself. And for me, this kind of thing would ONLY be sexy coming from someone I love and trust immensely, and have a deep bond with. From a stranger I met in a bar, this would be gross and disrespectful and in no way turn me on.

[Anonymous]

OP, two things are true. First is that this is a pretty common fantasy with women because it's HOT AS HELL. It's awesome.

The second is that unfortunately, some men have a problem having this type of sex with women they love and value. They have no problem having it with women they don't care about, but their wives and mothers of their children are unthinkable to them in this context. I'm having this issue with my DH right now. I know he can't deliver the experience I crave. So far I resolve it with frequent masturbation. It is what it is.

[Anonymous]

OP, maybe you could try to think of what you would be comfortable saying that flexes your domineering side. Unless she spelled out some specific scenario / script for you it sounds like she just confided in you she enjoys to feel submissive. A person only freely submits to someone who's leadership they trust. So, she trusts you. High praise. Now I am only assuming she did not tell you she wants to be "disrespected". Submitting to the person you trust is not being disrespected.

[Anonymous]

You have the madonna/white complex something awful.

If you want a satisfied partner, listen carefully to what she is explicitly telling you will turn her on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have the madonna/white complex something awful.

If you want a satisfied partner, listen carefully to what she is explicitly telling you will turn her on.

Madonna[/b]/whore[b]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have the madonna/white complex something awful.

If you want a satisfied partner, listen carefully to what she is explicitly telling you will turn her on.

Madonna[/b]/whore[b]

+100

[Anonymous]

If you don’t, someone else will be more than willing to do so... If you think not, you’re a fool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For any BDSM type relationship to work (even if you're just dabbling), both people have to be comfortable. If you are not comfortable calling her xyz, then she has to respect that.

This. I am into BDSM. She is asking you to dabble. What she needs to do, and you can tell her this, is try one thing at a time and see 1. If you enjoy it, and 2. If you enjoy seeing how much she enjoys it.

OP, try one thing at a time. Next time, try calling her a slut and watch how her body reacts. It will arouse her in a way that makes your experience better.

If you do or don't enjoy that, the next time, try spanking her and watch her reaction, and see how it makes you feel.

It is not something that happens overnight. If you try something little every time, you can learn to appreciate BDSM. I don't always have BDSM sex. But I defibitely enjoy it much more. It also jas taught me how to enjoy vanilla sex more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is asking you to do this, so clearly she has no problem with being called a slut. If that is your issue, go forth and slut it out.

If your issue is really that you two aren't sexually compatible because she is adventurous in a way that makes you uncomfortable, then you should address that issue.

+1 you don’t have to have sexual trauma to create this desire. DH and I have straps under the mattress we can break out for fun whenever we want. Variety is fun and healthy.

[Anonymous]

You really should try to stop seeing this as “disrespectful.” Why don’t you test out saying it playfully and affectionately. It doesn’t have to be in a nasty tone. For example, once she starts getting turned on and acting aroused, say something like “aren’t you my sweet little sl*t, getting all needy. Looks like you need ... (insert whatever’s appropriate here, use your imagination)