I am a certified professional dog trainer who has taken countless behaviorist seminars and worked with the top trainers in the country. Little kids lying on dogs is a HUGE deal. The stress signals may be subtle depending on the dog, but they are there 99% of the time. Allow the dog to initiate and body touching. If the kid is on the couch and the dog chooses to cuddle next to the kid, great! Kid can pet. If the dog is lying somewhere though, the kid should not snuggle up next to the dog. The pack theory has been debunked. Dogs aren't stupid--they know we aren't dogs. |
| I'm surprised you were allowed to adopt with young kids. |
OP here. Thank you! I already brought both kids to visit her, and she was extremely gentle and nice to my toddler (wagging, etc). She walked over and sniffed the baby, but not much else. The scent is a great idea...exactly the kind of advice I was looking for. My husband and I have always had dogs, so I feel comfortable in what to look for in a dog and also warning signs. |
No, this is good advice for adopting a dog with small kids. You want a dog that is as close to "bomb-proof" as possible. With my dog, you can pull his tail and ears, you can lie on top of him, and you can take kibble out of his bowl. He would look at you with a sad and worried expression, but he would never threaten a human. |
People like you are the reason many dogs end up euthanized. Nice way to set up the animal to fail. |
+1. Nobody is saying you SHOULD pull and lay on it, but you should be ABLE to, so that if something accidental or surprising happens, you know (with as much certainty as you can) that the dog can tolerate it. OP, train your toddler. Your toddler knows, but is still too young to be consistent. My 2 y/o has lived with two dogs her entire life and we still have to watch. She gets over excited and chases after them when they try to distance themselves, gets mad and hits the dog instead of hitting me, etc. And she KNOWS. She just can't help herself because she's two. It's on you, 100% of the time, to be the dog's advocate. Second, my two dogs are doggy BFFs, but during the first month after we got the second dog, there was a dynamic establishing phase where they had a few nasty fights. It worked itself out, but I would be VERY VERY cautious about the new dog as it's figuring itself out. Our second dog is the sweetest dog on the planet, but became a very different dog after the first few weeks. She was shell shocked and what seemed like good behavior was actually timidness. She opened up (and a lot of harmless ornery behaviors came out) once she got more comfortable. Do NOT think that the first two weeks went well, so you can let your guard down a little. Give it a few months, not a few weeks, before you feel like you can tell how the dog "is". |
| In addition to what the other reasonable PPs have said re: safe spaces, scents, and boundaries for your toddler, some other questions to consider: can you do a foster-to-adopt period, just to make sure it's a good fit? Can you commit to adequate exercise (a tired dog is a good dog!) and/or hire a dog walker? |
First PP is correct. Our dog's breeder makes a point of handling the pups every day since the day they are born, massaging paws and ears and muzzle, to prepare them for grooming and handling, at the vet, or by kids, or anyone. As a result, I can pull/clean my dog's ears, clip long hairs around the genitourinary region, comb him at length, clip nails, poke and prod him everywhere, take food and toys right out of his mouth, he will not get frustrated (retreat, protect, nip, whine or growl). The vet comes to give him shots which he does not seem to feel and is greeted warmly each time. He is not afraid of the vacuum cleaner or any household or environmental noise. He loves kids. But EVEN with that type of dog, I don't think Op should adopt with such young children at home. Accidents happen. |
| Thanks for the feedback. For those who said we were nuts, is that because of the tremendous amount of work or because of the perceived risk? |
NP. Because of actual risk. Dogs and kids both move much faster than you. You cannot possibly know how a dog will be with kids based on what you describe you saw. I have adopted rescues, volunteer with rescue, and have children. I have seen violently food aggressive dogs act gently with children they didn't know. You haven't done any tests, you don't seem to even be aware of what you should be looking for. You sound extremely naive to me, and that's dangerous for kid and dog. |
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I agree you should work on making sure the you can take the dogs food away and touch the dog whenever/wherever you want. I will sometimes take my dogs food for a second while he is eating, or touch his foot while eating, with a rescue, you may need to gradually work towards this but you do not want a dog that food guards or a dog that flips out when his paw or tail is touched. Not in a house with kids.
A good family dog is not bothered by that stuff. With our old dog, he would just get up and walk away if the kids bothered him. |
Goodness, OP, haven't you understood yet???? |
I am honestly surprised a rescue organization would let you have a dog. You're a candidate for a puppy from a breeder. Rescuing dogs is for DINKs or families with much older children. |
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Op here back to update. Thank you for all the feedback, both positive and negative. Positive feedback gave me hope and the negative feedback reinforced just how vigilant my husband and I need to be. 2 weeks in and so far so good. She is extremely friendly and chill to all people, dogs, kids, and even the neighbors cat!
She does not seem to be alarmed by the loud noises toddler inevitably make. We praise her when toddler is whining/ being difficult. We have been as careful as possible. We never leave them alone, don’t let toddler hang n her or get in her face, dog eats downstairs away from toddler and baby, she has a room to “escape” to if she wants....the funny thing is she hasn’t wanted to. She likes to be with the whole family. She greets the kids with a tail wags and a kiss every morning, and waits on the couch looking out the window while we are gone. She has not needed the crate and is getting 4 good walks a day (tired dog = good dog)! She knows basic commands : come sit stay lie down. Do you think we should still do the PetSmart type obedience classes? Any other tips or things I haven’t implemented yet? |
Don't kid yourself. The so-call rescue industry is a huge scam. |