When is it legitimate to ask for a change in teachers?

[Anonymous]

I’ve not seen changes made this late in the year but you won’t know if you don’t try!

[Anonymous]

Some commenters have said that the new teacher would be resentful of you or your child due to getting a new kid in the middle of the year. I find that teachers are very aware of the problems other teachers cause and are not resentful toward the child or family. They may be resentful toward admin for not handling the issue appropriately for all the kids in the bad teacher's class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some commenters have said that the new teacher would be resentful of you or your child due to getting a new kid in the middle of the year. I find that teachers are very aware of the problems other teachers cause and are not resentful toward the child or family. They may be resentful toward admin for not handling the issue appropriately for all the kids in the bad teacher's class.

Thanks, PP. it’s good to hear that perspective. We are girding up our loins to go talk to the school administrators this week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some commenters have said that the new teacher would be resentful of you or your child due to getting a new kid in the middle of the year. I find that teachers are very aware of the problems other teachers cause and are not resentful toward the child or family. They may be resentful toward admin for not handling the issue appropriately for all the kids in the bad teacher's class.

Or, OP and her child are the ones who are creating the problem. That happens, as well. Some kids get by with everything at home and do not understand when they are not allowed to do so at school. And, then they blame the teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some commenters have said that the new teacher would be resentful of you or your child due to getting a new kid in the middle of the year. I find that teachers are very aware of the problems other teachers cause and are not resentful toward the child or family. They may be resentful toward admin for not handling the issue appropriately for all the kids in the bad teacher's class.

Or, OP and her child are the ones who are creating the problem. That happens, as well. Some kids get by with everything at home and do not understand when they are not allowed to do so at school. And, then they blame the teacher.

OP, I hope you can ignore comments like this one and the one about the "loony mom wall," which -- if it was by a teacher or administrator, and it sounds as if it was -- is truly despicable.

Go in and do what you must, OP. Just because there is a short time left in the year, that doesn't mean your daughter should just stick with this teacher to develop the "grit" someone else thinks she needs. What a collection of simply mean-spirited posts. Your Dd does not need to be miserable and feel sick for many weeks to come just so adults can think she's learned some lesson. She's not in middle or high school, where kids do have to just deal. You have the word not just of your child but of other parents who have witnessed the teacher singing out your child negatively. And though the end of the year is near, look at it this way -- it's actually an entire quarter of the year that's left. All the more reason to change ASAP.

When you do go in and ask for a change, I would take care not to get into specific blaming of the teacher. Be very "professional," meaning cool and firm, but don't get emotional. Just say that because your child is very clearly stressed, she needs to move. If the administrators toss up the "it's almost the end of the year" argument, just coolly say that you fully realize that, but it's also an entire quarter left, and your family intends to make it a positive end of the year for your child, so they need to move her to another classroom.

I would also be evaluating what the teachers in next year's grades are like and whether any of them are similar to this year's teacher. Most schools will accept letters from parents about what type of teacher would work best for their child, but do not name names or say you want your child to have Mrs. X or Mr. Y specifically (our schools always said never to name a teacher but to talk about your child's personality and what styles of teaching you found did or did not work well with your child). Talk to other parents a lot, especially those who have older kids who have recently gone through your school--other parents can be a great resource though you should take care that they're able to be at least somewhat objective. See if anyone else has done the year-end letter like I describe. Our former elementary actually encouraged such letters to the principal though of course the school was never obligated to do anything based on them; however, I know that our letter helped my DD avoid one particular teacher and get another one whose style was much better for DD.

Come back and update us on the move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some commenters have said that the new teacher would be resentful of you or your child due to getting a new kid in the middle of the year. I find that teachers are very aware of the problems other teachers cause and are not resentful toward the child or family. They may be resentful toward admin for not handling the issue appropriately for all the kids in the bad teacher's class.

Or, OP and her child are the ones who are creating the problem. That happens, as well. Some kids get by with everything at home and do not understand when they are not allowed to do so at school. And, then they blame the teacher.

OP, I hope you can ignore comments like this one and the one about the "loony mom wall," which -- if it was by a teacher or administrator, and it sounds as if it was -- is truly despicable.

Go in and do what you must, OP. Just because there is a short time left in the year, that doesn't mean your daughter should just stick with this teacher to develop the "grit" someone else thinks she needs. What a collection of simply mean-spirited posts. Your Dd does not need to be miserable and feel sick for many weeks to come just so adults can think she's learned some lesson. She's not in middle or high school, where kids do have to just deal. You have the word not just of your child but of other parents who have witnessed the teacher singing out your child negatively. And though the end of the year is near, look at it this way -- it's actually an entire quarter of the year that's left. All the more reason to change ASAP.

When you do go in and ask for a change, I would take care not to get into specific blaming of the teacher. Be very "professional," meaning cool and firm, but don't get emotional. Just say that because your child is very clearly stressed, she needs to move. If the administrators toss up the "it's almost the end of the year" argument, just coolly say that you fully realize that, but it's also an entire quarter left, and your family intends to make it a positive end of the year for your child, so they need to move her to another classroom.

I would also be evaluating what the teachers in next year's grades are like and whether any of them are similar to this year's teacher. Most schools will accept letters from parents about what type of teacher would work best for their child, but do not name names or say you want your child to have Mrs. X or Mr. Y specifically (our schools always said never to name a teacher but to talk about your child's personality and what styles of teaching you found did or did not work well with your child). Talk to other parents a lot, especially those who have older kids who have recently gone through your school--other parents can be a great resource though you should take care that they're able to be at least somewhat objective. See if anyone else has done the year-end letter like I describe. Our former elementary actually encouraged such letters to the principal though of course the school was never obligated to do anything based on them; however, I know that our letter helped my DD avoid one particular teacher and get another one whose style was much better for DD.

Come back and update us on the move.

Have you been reading this board lately? Plenty of parents of middle and high schoolers swooping in to fix any perceived slight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some commenters have said that the new teacher would be resentful of you or your child due to getting a new kid in the middle of the year. I find that teachers are very aware of the problems other teachers cause and are not resentful toward the child or family. They may be resentful toward admin for not handling the issue appropriately for all the kids in the bad teacher's class.

Or, OP and her child are the ones who are creating the problem. That happens, as well. Some kids get by with everything at home and do not understand when they are not allowed to do so at school. And, then they blame the teacher.

OP, I hope you can ignore comments like this one and the one about the "loony mom wall," which -- if it was by a teacher or administrator, and it sounds as if it was -- is truly despicable.

Go in and do what you must, OP. Just because there is a short time left in the year, that doesn't mean your daughter should just stick with this teacher to develop the "grit" someone else thinks she needs. What a collection of simply mean-spirited posts. Your Dd does not need to be miserable and feel sick for many weeks to come just so adults can think she's learned some lesson. She's not in middle or high school, where kids do have to just deal. You have the word not just of your child but of other parents who have witnessed the teacher singing out your child negatively. And though the end of the year is near, look at it this way -- it's actually an entire quarter of the year that's left. All the more reason to change ASAP.

When you do go in and ask for a change, I would take care not to get into specific blaming of the teacher. Be very "professional," meaning cool and firm, but don't get emotional. Just say that because your child is very clearly stressed, she needs to move. If the administrators toss up the "it's almost the end of the year" argument, just coolly say that you fully realize that, but it's also an entire quarter left, and your family intends to make it a positive end of the year for your child, so they need to move her to another classroom.

I would also be evaluating what the teachers in next year's grades are like and whether any of them are similar to this year's teacher. Most schools will accept letters from parents about what type of teacher would work best for their child, but do not name names or say you want your child to have Mrs. X or Mr. Y specifically (our schools always said never to name a teacher but to talk about your child's personality and what styles of teaching you found did or did not work well with your child). Talk to other parents a lot, especially those who have older kids who have recently gone through your school--other parents can be a great resource though you should take care that they're able to be at least somewhat objective. See if anyone else has done the year-end letter like I describe. Our former elementary actually encouraged such letters to the principal though of course the school was never obligated to do anything based on them; however, I know that our letter helped my DD avoid one particular teacher and get another one whose style was much better for DD.

Come back and update us on the move.

PP, thank you so much for your kind words and your advice about next year. We will to use the meeting this week to talk about the need for a better fit next year. Really all DD needs is a decently kind and positive teacher, which I think all children are entitled to.

DD is on the quiet side, and she’s well-behaved, as even the teacher acknowledges, and in the past has been very well-liked by her teachers. DD has not had any issues with teachers before nor have we as parents, so contrary to the accusation that we are causing problems, I think we let things go on too long in the hope that talking to the teacher and expressing our concerns would lead to a change in her behavior toward DD.

I think back with guilt at all the encouraging conversations I had with my daughter about keeping up a positive attitude and at first telling her that she must be imagining that her teacher didn’t like her.

[Anonymous]

I'm a teacher and plenty of students move classes during the school year. If the new teacher is resentful, I would find that strange (unless the student is notoriously misbehaved and it doesn't sound like that is the case).

[Anonymous]

My daughter had a 2nd grade teacher that all of us actively disliked. She was bored the whole year because he spent all the time catching the other kids up on things she'd already learned from her fabulous 1st grade teacher. He called her "overconfident", which bothered us a lot, because we don't think confidence is something that should be undermined, especially in girls. (She's an energetic, outgoing kid and he seemed to favor the quieter kids - which I can understand when you've got 24 of them.)

We sucked it up. I told her, "hey, we've been lucky so far in that you had amazing kindergarten and 1st grade teachers. Not everyone is so lucky. It's just one year." She got a wonderful 3rd grade teacher this year and we've moved past last year.

I would try to take a "light at the end of the tunnel" approach since you're so close to year-end.