When teachers are nasty to students

[Anonymous]

I've learned the hard way through my younger daughter's grade school experience last year that teachers can be mean girls, too. The other kids pick right up on it, see an opening, and start bullying other kids.

I would contact the principal and say the teacher's response was sarcastic and unacceptable, and that your DD had an appointment. Stand up for your daughter. You are her advocate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've learned the hard way through my younger daughter's grade school experience last year that teachers can be mean girls, too. The other kids pick right up on it, see an opening, and start bullying other kids.

I would contact the principal and say the teacher's response was sarcastic and unacceptable, and that your DD had an appointment. Stand up for your daughter. You are her advocate.

So, you would not talk to the teacher first? How would you like it if someone went to your boss with a story that may not include all the information?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I would make a formal complaint to the principal and the principal's hierarchical superior, and demand that the teacher apologize for her words to the entire class.

I would not do this unless I talked with the teacher first. Listen to her version first. OP's child may have given a slanted version of events.

Unless the child is lying and the teacher didn't actually say this, I can't think of ANY circumstance in which that response was acceptable. Can you think of one? Keep in mind there's only one adult in the interaction.

[Anonymous]

Unacceptable response. Even if your DD was one of the students who earned the detention, that response is ridiculous.

Talk to the assistant, and if you get nowhere go to the principal.

FWIW, you were waiting to take her to the doctor. DD should have been allowed to leave IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I would make a formal complaint to the principal and the principal's hierarchical superior, and demand that the teacher apologize for her words to the entire class.

I would not do this unless I talked with the teacher first. Listen to her version first. OP's child may have given a slanted version of events.

Let's say you do this and the teacher says she didn't say it, or not quite like this, or didn't mean it, etc. Unless the teacher is ready to fully apologize, and in my experience they NEVER are, you'd have been better off going straight to the principal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unacceptable response. Even if your DD was one of the students who earned the detention, that response is ridiculous.

Talk to the assistant, and if you get nowhere go to the principal.

FWIW, you were waiting to take her to the doctor. DD should have been allowed to leave IMO.

In MCPS, I walk into the office, ask for my kid, and the office calls the teacher to let him go.

[Anonymous]

Unless the child is lying and the teacher didn't actually say this, I can't think of ANY circumstance in which that response was acceptable. Can you think of one? Keep in mind there's only one adult in the interaction.

And, that is the point. The child may have put her own spin on the interaction. There may have been another reason she was late. And, please remember, that the principal will be out of line if he/she takes any action without getting the teacher's side of the story. Can you imagine the principal taking action against a teacher based on this? Hearsay?

It is only reasonable to start with going directly to the teacher with your complaint. If you get no resolution, then go to the principal. That's the way it works. If I were the principal, the first thing I would ask the mom is "did you talk to the teacher?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've learned the hard way through my younger daughter's grade school experience last year that teachers can be mean girls, too. The other kids pick right up on it, see an opening, and start bullying other kids.

I would contact the principal and say the teacher's response was sarcastic and unacceptable, and that your DD had an appointment. Stand up for your daughter. You are her advocate.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've learned the hard way through my younger daughter's grade school experience last year that teachers can be mean girls, too. The other kids pick right up on it, see an opening, and start b
I would contact the principal and say the teacher's response was sarcastic and unacceptable, and that your DD had an appointment. Stand up for your daughter. You are her advocate.

+1

You would not even give the teacher the benefit of the doubt? Do you have a job? Would you want someone going directly to your boss if you offended him? You would not want them to mention it to you first?

Sometimes, you need to pick your battles. IFthe teacher said that, it is unacceptable. But, she may not have said it in the way your daughter told you.

So, what do you expect to get from talking to the principal?
Do you expect him to fire the teacher?
Do you expect him to put a letter in her file?
Do you expect him to chastise the teacher?

This is what you will get: The principal will be sympathetic to you. He/she will listen.
This is what he/she might ask: Did you talk to the teacher?
This is what he will think: This mom is annoying.

Best case: the principal will talk to the teacher and tell her to watch her sarcasm. Principal will pay more attention to the teacher's behavior. If the teacher has been a problem in the past, it may trigger something--but, that is unlikely.
Likely case: the principal will talk to the teacher and tell her that she needs to handle Larla with kid gloves because she said the teacher was sarcastic. The teacher will treat your daughter differently from the other kids. The teacher will be careful in her actions with your kid and her vision may be slanted--especially if Larla did not tell you the truth.

If I were you, I would tell Larla that, while the teacher made a comment that was not kind, that Larla should overlook it.

Also, just how late was Larla? Five minutes? Ten minutes? If you were on such a tight schedule, why did you not pick her up early?

[Anonymous]

So many young victims of rape here. It's the only way to explain the number of children who are in such a rush to tattle to the principal without a straight story.

I hope you all are getting the therapy you need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Based on my volunteering experiences, I would ask for more information about the class and other students (if you don't really know). Some of the kids in my son's class are horrible. Constantly disobedient, when corrected they sneer, they are disrespectful. It bothers the other kids and when I volunteer, I have corrected firmly and been sneered at or mocked the moment I turn my back. I have watched the kids treat the cafeteria staff terribly and ignore correction. It is truly horrible and I have asked what the discipline is (the different levels of discipline) and really, there isn't one. They cannot take recess, they do not call parents because they get chewed at and it results in nothing, they will not suspend, they will not in-school suspend. There is no effective discipline and the kids know it and the teachers are both powerless to discipline the kids and tired. The one thing the teachers consistently do is punish the entire class. It drives my kids crazy and it drives me crazy. So I would try to dig in with your child. Ask if there are kids who are constantly disruptive because if that is the case, your situation is bad because the teacher has very few tools, her patience is understandably worn down and when she uses the only tool she has, she gets backtalk from a "good kid." I would ask more or volunteer or ask volunteers what it is like in the trenches. I am sure that there are kids in my kids classrooms that think I am mean. I am not mean. I just do not think kids should be totally out of control and rude and I call them on it. My job is not on the line so I point my finger, use stern voices or raise my voice. Most teachers NEVER raise a voice or even use a stern voice so maybe all it takes to be considered mean these days is to be stern and firm.

Here’s a giant pro ‘private school’ poster. What school is this? What area?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've learned the hard way through my younger daughter's grade school experience last year that teachers can be mean girls, too. The other kids pick right up on it, see an opening, and start bullying other kids.

I would contact the principal and say the teacher's response was sarcastic and unacceptable, and that your DD had an appointment. Stand up for your daughter. You are her advocate.

Gross!!

[Anonymous]

eh, punishing the entire class like that by holding them after the bell and then speaking sarcastically to a kid who explained that she would be late for a doctors appt if she didn't leave soon.....that seems pretty out of line. What if kids who had done nothing wrong missed their bus?

I would tell your daughter that you are going to email the teacher about this and make sure that you have the full story about what actually happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:eh, punishing the entire class like that by holding them after the bell and then speaking sarcastically to a kid who explained that she would be late for a doctors appt if she didn't leave soon.....that seems pretty out of line. What if kids who had done nothing wrong missed their bus?

I would tell your daughter that you are going to email the teacher about this and make sure that you have the full story about what actually happened.

IF the teacher made the statement that OP says, that is inappropriate. However, if it is not an ongoing problem, this is something that should be dropped like a hot potato.

I find it hard to believe that the teacher kept them very long--unless it was to clean up a mess. Hint: most teachers are as anxious for the kids to go home as the students are. It was likely an excuse the child made because she stopped and chatted with a friend. From the mom's reaction, it sounds like the kid knows how to push her buttons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've learned the hard way through my younger daughter's grade school experience last year that teachers can be mean girls, too. The other kids pick right up on it, see an opening, and start b
I would contact the principal and say the teacher's response was sarcastic and unacceptable, and that your DD had an appointment. Stand up for your daughter. You are her advocate.

+1

You would not even give the teacher the benefit of the doubt? Do you have a job? Would you want someone going directly to your boss if you offended him? You would not want them to mention it to you first?

Sometimes, you need to pick your battles. IFthe teacher said that, it is unacceptable. But, she may not have said it in the way your daughter told you.

So, what do you expect to get from talking to the principal?
Do you expect him to fire the teacher?
Do you expect him to put a letter in her file?
Do you expect him to chastise the teacher?

This is what you will get: The principal will be sympathetic to you. He/she will listen.
This is what he/she might ask: Did you talk to the teacher?
This is what he will think: This mom is annoying.

Best case: the principal will talk to the teacher and tell her to watch her sarcasm. Principal will pay more attention to the teacher's behavior. If the teacher has been a problem in the past, it may trigger something--but, that is unlikely.
Likely case: the principal will talk to the teacher and tell her that she needs to handle Larla with kid gloves because she said the teacher was sarcastic. The teacher will treat your daughter differently from the other kids. The teacher will be careful in her actions with your kid and her vision may be slanted--especially if Larla did not tell you the truth.

If I were you, I would tell Larla that, while the teacher made a comment that was not kind, that Larla should overlook it.

Also, just how late was Larla? Five minutes? Ten minutes? If you were on such a tight schedule, why did you not pick her up early?

Wise words. Only advocate if you can actually get something to benefit yourself or your daughter.