anyone delay getting a cell phone to 7th grade or beyond?

[Anonymous]

We waited until Christmas of 7th grade.

[Anonymous]

We waited until our kids could pay for the phone and the monthly plan. They had after school jobs; and were in 8 th or 9 th grade when they had saved enough. Their younger brother is now in 8th and will have saved enough by this summer. They are fine with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both our kids got their first phones in Dec of 7th grade. The delay had no ill effects. Neither kid uses any social media or seemed inclined to binge on screen time after finally getting phones.

I could have written this! We were able to delay until 7th grade in part because out kids weren't desperate to get a phone, and to this day they're happy to have phones but not addicted to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know they can also just use their friends phones for social media and lie to you and because its not your phone you have no control.

But they'll do this anyway. If a parent gets a phone and limits social media the kid will use a friend's phone.
Are you saying this is hopeless? Perhaps we should just give up and let the kids use whatever they want because they'll find a way to do it anyway?
At least if I don't get the phone, they won't have it during all the hours they're in my house.

No, I'm saying you teach them proper use, you put restrictions on the phone, limit access to the internet and app store, etc. You have all text go to your phone or your iPad, etc. They don't have to have it all the time at home, it can stay on the counter or by the door charging except when you give permission. Parent. Pushing off what is going to happen anyway or they will sneak around you isn't going to help as much as you think. My kids know if they go on social media or something I don't approve of and find out they lose their phones. Simple. You keep their account passwords, and if they refuse, they lose the phone. You are on their friends list and if not they lose the phone.

But why do I need to get them a phone at all at this age?

Read your post - they are home alone, walking alone, going to activities and other kids homes alone......there are no pay phones like we had growing up.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is in 8th grade and she does not have a smart phone. She has a flip phone but barely uses it because she apparently does not have the need to make calls. She can text a bit (it does not show emoji's). It's been the right move for her.

She has a computer and iPad at home and certainly uses it to excess (though we make her take breaks). I do not feel bad. She has a phone for emergencies or simply to communicate with us (it seems she never calls friends).

I will get her a smart phone next year when she enters high school (and pass along the flip phone to her younger sister). I think the tools will be helpful. No regrets in our decision.

[Anonymous]

6th grade no smart phone. Has dumb phone that is never used. Lost my extra smartphone today on vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't want your kid on my child's phone. Get your own. If your child breaks mine, they who pays for it? Use common sense. Supervise them and monitor what is on the phone. Kids are on instagram as parents don't care or aren't supervising.

You are a mean, mean person. Shit happens. My daughter's cell phone broke when she handed it to a friend to look at something on her screen and the friend dropped it. The other girl DID have her own phone. If it breaks, it breaks.

The other parents said they would replace DD's phone. I told them that was very kind of them but it was too expensive, and I'd go halfsies with them. DD's friend wrote DD a note saying she would pay for a third since it was really her fault. It's three years later now, and the girls are still friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want your kid on my child's phone. Get your own. If your child breaks mine, they who pays for it? Use common sense. Supervise them and monitor what is on the phone. Kids are on instagram as parents don't care or aren't supervising.

You are a mean, mean person. Shit happens. My daughter's cell phone broke when she handed it to a friend to look at something on her screen and the friend dropped it. The other girl DID have her own phone. If it breaks, it breaks.

The other parents said they would replace DD's phone. I told them that was very kind of them but it was too expensive, and I'd go halfsies with them. DD's friend wrote DD a note saying she would pay for a third since it was really her fault. It's three years later now, and the girls are still friends.

Shit happens so no, I don't want your kid on my phone so they can break it. I don't even get how it breaks. We've had phones and iPads for years and not one broke but we have proper cases. Its one thing if it were an emergency but just to call and say something to a parent - no. Get a cheap trac phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want your kid on my child's phone. Get your own. If your child breaks mine, they who pays for it? Use common sense. Supervise them and monitor what is on the phone. Kids are on instagram as parents don't care or aren't supervising.

You are a mean, mean person. Shit happens. My daughter's cell phone broke when she handed it to a friend to look at something on her screen and the friend dropped it. The other girl DID have her own phone. If it breaks, it breaks.

The other parents said they would replace DD's phone. I told them that was very kind of them but it was too expensive, and I'd go halfsies with them. DD's friend wrote DD a note saying she would pay for a third since it was really her fault. It's three years later now, and the girls are still friends.

Shit happens so no, I don't want your kid on my phone so they can break it. I don't even get how it breaks. We've had phones and iPads for years and not one broke but we have proper cases. Its one thing if it were an emergency but just to call and say something to a parent - no. Get a cheap trac phone.

Wow- just wow. You have proper cases and yes, things happen. Don’t be so selfish! Loosen up a little.

[Anonymous]

Like a PP said, there are no pay phones anymore. For me I want to be able to reach my kid or have him reach me if something happens. So dial down the hysterics and get a dumb phone you can also text with. Switch to a smartphone when they ate ready. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

My kids got a dumb phone in 5th grade and a smart phone the summer before high school. Around 6th or 7th grade they start looking and posting to social media ( Instagram ) occasionally on my phone so I can monitor and they learn restraint. Two older kids tell me in retrospect they think waiting for smartphone was a good idea, although they gave me a really tough time about it in middle school and took some teasing from friends and actually were left out of some social stuff because they didn’t have an iPhone.

You won’t regret waiting to put a smartphone in your kids’ hands, but I have heard many, many parents regret having given their kids smartphones too early.

[Anonymous]

There's a pretty substantial movement called "Wait Until 8th" to delay giving kids a smartphone. Lots of resources if you don't want to feel so alone in the decision. It's a good choice.

https://www.waituntil8th.org/

[Anonymous]

I got my DD her phone at the beginning of 7th grade. No regrets whatsoever.

[Anonymous]

My DD really needs a phone in HS and we got her one in 7th...
In retrospect wish we had waited until 8th... DD in 9th uses her phone way too much but it's hard to control as she uses it for all her school classes.

[Anonymous]

Would be helpful if people could clarify what they mean by "phone." A smartphone, with full internet and email capability? Or a "dumb" phone, with just emergency calling? Calling and text?

We're thinking about doing a calling-and-text kind of device (assuming such a thing still exists?) next year in 6th, for emergencies, and so she can contact her friends directly to make plans or discuss homework. Then we'd evaluate how well she's handled that in a year or two (and how many times she's lost it!), and discuss the possibility of a smartphone maybe in 8th or 9th.

Wondering if others have done something similar? Am I naive to think there are still non-smartphones out there to be bought?