A little concerned about AAP

[Anonymous]

My DS is now in 5th grade. He switched schools to attend the center starting in 3rd.

He has stayed friends with a few kids that he's known since Pre-K or early elementary. I'll be honest, though, it took effort on the part of all parents involved. We kept him in a few activities like cub scout at our neighborhood school in an attempt to keep those ties. We set up weekend playdates with his closest friends.

He quickly made new friends at his new school. Only a few kids from his old class switched schools, so there weren't many familiar faces. But he quickly built a new set of friends.

Now, some of the old friendships are stronger than ever, and some are starting to fade. I think that's normal regardless of school changes. But overall I have no concerns about his social life.

Lots of people change schools for various reasons. I did it myself when my family moved out of state in the middle of my third grade year. Changes can be good even if they are a little scary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If kiddo is admitted go to the open house and see what you think.

Goo idea. Thank you. Would the open house be in April or May or June? Every school will have the open house around the same time correct?

I think the open houses are in April

[Anonymous]

DS switched and very few kids from his home school went with him. None of those kids were his friends.

He complained the first couple weeks but he has loved it since then. We did put him in SACC at the new school. That helped a lot because he has time to just play with new friends.

We did the opposite of some people and put him on teams with his new school.

I have an established group of friends in our neighborhood, so DS is maintaining contact with those kids at least and a few more here and there. We also go to our community pool, so he will keep neighborhood friendships that way.

Our AAP center is in the same feeder pattern, so making these new friends will be "helpful" to him in middle school. It has been a little harder to get into the playdate circle at the new school, but we both work and never did that many anyway. And he is getting invited to parties, etc., so I think he's integrated well.

Also,, you want to force your kid out of a comfort zone. They need to be able to meet new people and put themselves out there. It's a great skill to have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I don't have an eligibility letter but I just talked to teachers and administrators and saw our file, they're sure DC will make it. I know there are many surprises so I am just being very hopeful that's all. The reason is we're planning ahead, e.g., housing and other things just in case we make it and that's why I think about it. And it dawned on me - do I really want my child to be in AAP anyway? Would DC be okay losing friendships? Would DC come home as a completely different and unhappy child from AAP class? Yes I do think about these things and they're legitimate concerns!

Your teachers and administrators already assured you that your DC is in?? They already shared the files with you?? That sounds highly unusual.

That certainly was not my experience. My DC did make it into AAP but the teachers and AART at our school were tight lipped. We had to wait for the eligibility letter. Also they did not let me see the file until after the notification.

[Anonymous]

the 'friend' issue is such nonsense. Do you think other families will base their life impacting decisions on your daugher's/son's friendships?

I certainly wouldn't.

Also, would you tell your child to turn down Harvard or Princeton, because her friends didn't make it to those schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:the 'friend' issue is such nonsense. Do you think other families will base their life impacting decisions on your daugher's/son's friendships?

I certainly wouldn't.

Also, would you tell your child to turn down Harvard or Princeton, because her friends didn't make it to those schools?

I understand OPs concerns. This age, AAP or non AAP not a huge difference. If your child is smart enough tomake it to AAP, he or she will do great either way. You’re not turning down an admission to TJ or Harvard, it’s ridiculous to compare AAP in elementary to those. And you can witch back to AAP or vice verse and reactivate any time. Easy!

[Anonymous]

A child that fits the profile that needs AAP will most likely find stronger friendships in AAP.

Also, kids are way more adaptive than we give them credit for. I don't even remember who my friends were in second grade nor do I care. I just made new friends each school year at that age. Your child may care less than you think as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A child that fits the profile that needs AAP will most likely find stronger friendships in AAP.

Also, kids are way more adaptive than we give them credit for. I don't even remember who my friends were in second grade nor do I care. I just made new friends each school year at that age. Your child may care less than you think as well.

Strongly agree!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the 'friend' issue is such nonsense. Do you think other families will base their life impacting decisions on your daugher's/son's friendships?

I certainly wouldn't.

Also, would you tell your child to turn down Harvard or Princeton, because her friends didn't make it to those schools?

I understand OPs concerns. This age, AAP or non AAP not a huge difference. If your child is smart enough tomake it to AAP, he or she will do great either way. You’re not turning down an admission to TJ or Harvard, it’s ridiculous to compare AAP in elementary to those. And you can witch back to AAP or vice verse and reactivate any time. Easy!

The point is the same either way. You have to do what's best for your child.

if Larla's your daughter's best friend, and you don't accept AAP because of Larla, what will you do when Larla's parents buy a new house at a different school, or move out of town all together? will you chase them? Or then you'll think of going to AAP, but wait, you've missed most of the advanced math, and will have to figure out how to play catch up and put undue stress on your dear Carla.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the 'friend' issue is such nonsense. Do you think other families will base their life impacting decisions on your daugher's/son's friendships?

I certainly wouldn't.

Also, would you tell your child to turn down Harvard or Princeton, because her friends didn't make it to those schools?

I understand OPs concerns. This age, AAP or non AAP not a huge difference. If your child is smart enough tomake it to AAP, he or she will do great either way. You’re not turning down an admission to TJ or Harvard, it’s ridiculous to compare AAP in elementary to those. And you can witch back to AAP or vice verse and reactivate any time. Easy!

The point is the same either way. You have to do what's best for your child.

if Larla's your daughter's best friend, and you don't accept AAP because of Larla, what will you do when Larla's parents buy a new house at a different school, or move out of town all together? will you chase them? Or then you'll think of going to AAP, but wait, you've missed most of the advanced math, and will have to figure out how to play catch up and put undue stress on your dear Carla.

I don't think OP is concerned about losing a one best friend. Probably a circle of several friends who won't go to AAP, right OP?

[Anonymous]

You seem to know op's motivations and concerns in great detail!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You seem to know op's motivations and concerns in great detail!

Who will worry about losing one friend seriously? Like other posted said, OP's child must have his or her well established social life with several close friends. I moved around my entire life due to my parents' jobs and that really affected me so I can see where OP's concern might come from.

[Anonymous]

hmmmmm, a 7 or 8 year old has a very well established circle of friends, and not only is able to achieve such tight knit circle, but also can't do it again with new friends in AAP. ....

It's not worth replying to such nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You seem to know op's motivations and concerns in great detail!

Who will worry about losing one friend seriously? Like other posted said, OP's child must have his or her well established social life with several close friends. I moved around my entire life due to my parents' jobs and that really affected me so I can see where OP's concern might come from.

I moved around a lot as well and stability is big on my list for my children. I think OP concern is valid.