Bringing kids friends on vacation

[Anonymous]

You are not overthinking this. Your husband should not have unilaterally told the kids they could bring friends with them.

We take our kids’ friends to our vacation house, but it’s not out of the country. That opens up a whole other dimension in terms of documentation that you’ll need.

I think you will have to talk with the parents. But the place to start is making sure you and your husband are on the same page.

[Anonymous]

I'm not seeing in the original post that OP's DH did this w/o her knowing - she just now seems nervous. That's good - as you all should be but what a lovely gift (and I don't mean monetary) that you are giving these kids - yours and their friends. I agree that you should have every legal document signed and you should absolutely have a talk with the parents, your kids, then those parents, your kids and the friends. If you are the kind of travelers who have a broad outline of a trip but then are happy to improvise - you need to let the esp OCD parents know. You are not (I hope!) letting these other families dictate what you do but you should communicate what you will allow and what your plans are. We have done this in US a lot and now have started bringing one of our kids friends along as well as one of my nieces (my DD and she are great friends too) with us for our winter break Mexico trip. The oldest is only 12 right now but I know we will be having boundaries pushed both as they get older and as they get more comfortable with this annual trip. We have said from the beginning that all kids are being given a privilege and all have a responsibility to keep our trust. Of course now it is easy to watch them but I very much expect the midnight to 3AM excursions to a least be a possibility and will speak about it rather than assume they won't (and no - it is not something I will allow and maybe by the time of teens we will have threat of immediate plane ticket home with $$$$ at ready to do so.) What we tell any parents of the kids who come with us that is true here or abroad is that we are not rigid travelers and often totally change our minds once we get where we are going. While it is easy to update daily part of our travel is unplugging so we are not always available (though we try and check emails once a day and would update if there were any huge diversions from original plans.) If a parent wanted calls every day and access at will I would and have say that we can't promise that. When they are older and have all their own devices who knows what will happen. Also - when we extend invitation we spell out that that it means everything: if - as almost always happens - kids want to bring us out for a meal paid for of course by their parents if possible we make turn it around to where they might instead plan a day's itinerary or if there's a kitchen, to make breakfast - but, as some of the kids we bring are of modest means, we try and downplay any idea of reciprocity. We love of course the grateful letters afterwards and the only kid we'd never invite back was both a terrible guest (who hid when there was the actual work of packing or cleaning up) who also never once seemed happy or appreciative and spent huge amounts on snacks for himself and trinkets/and t-shirts with with no thought of sharing. It was just the selfishness and entitlement that was off putting. I was good friends with his mom but kind of soured afterwards. I know and don't judge that many families could not take our loosey goosey travel style but I have my own limits of how I would accommodate them as we all know the give an inch and they'll atke and try and dictate all they can.

[Anonymous]

I can’t read your very long, one-paragraph post, but you are right that the OP did not explicitly say her husband did this without asking her. I inferred that from the post but I may have been wrong. Apologies for assuming.

[Anonymous]

My brother went on a huge European cruise/trip with his friend's family. They had a blast, but were totally up to no good.