How to deal with DC's friend's constant label switching

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the term? I know several people who identify as gender fluid- that sounds similar to what your child’s friend is experiencing.

It is not gender fluid. I don't want to be super specific as not to out the kid, but it has to do with how their gender relates to their mental illness. Could also be defined as their mental illness IS their gender.

I'm guessing "otherkin" or something like that.

OP here; yes something similar to that.

Now we all know who it is. You shouldn’t post stuff like that.

OP never said that DC's friend was a school friend or is even in high school. Could be a college kid from another state for all I know...

Think PP was just being sarcastic.

[Anonymous]

When dd was in preschool, she kept changing which my little pony character was her favorite. On some days, she felt like Rarity was so relatable, and on other days she felt a strong bond to Rainbow Dash. Then there was the Pinky Pie phase. It changed often, but it didn’t make the one who was her favorite any less her favorite in the moment, even though I knew in a day or a week it would probably be different.

The point is, a lot of kids are feeling things for the first time. They don’t know exactly what to do with those feelings or how to put them into words. They have a wealth of knowledge about topics we never dreamed of at that age at their fingertips. So first, accept that for most and especially for that child, sexuality and to some extent gender are fluid. Then accept that they’re trying on different labels to try to express themselves, the way some kids might try a different hairstyle or favorite character.

Really, other than being unconventional, where’s the harm in feeling the way the kid feels? It’s not hurting anyone. It really has no effect on you or anyone else. Just smile and nod.

[Anonymous]

Why does it need to be "dealt with"? What issues is it causing? Figure out whatever pronouns the friend uses based on listening to your DC talk about them, and either use those or they/them if whatever the friend's gender label is means they don't use he or she. That's simple and all that's needed for a parent to treat their kid's friend respectfully. Aside from that I'm not seeing how your kid's friend's identity labels are relevant to you at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When dd was in preschool, she kept changing which my little pony character was her favorite. On some days, she felt like Rarity was so relatable, and on other days she felt a strong bond to Rainbow Dash. Then there was the Pinky Pie phase. It changed often, but it didn’t make the one who was her favorite any less her favorite in the moment, even though I knew in a day or a week it would probably be different.

The point is, a lot of kids are feeling things for the first time. They don’t know exactly what to do with those feelings or how to put them into words. They have a wealth of knowledge about topics we never dreamed of at that age at their fingertips. So first, accept that for most and especially for that child, sexuality and to some extent gender are fluid. Then accept that they’re trying on different labels to try to express themselves, the way some kids might try a different hairstyle or favorite character.

Really, other than being unconventional, where’s the harm in feeling the way the kid feels? It’s not hurting anyone. It really has no effect on you or anyone else. Just smile and nod.

For the vast, vast majority sexuality and gender is not fluid.

All the gays and lesbians I know (and I know many) will tell you they knew their orientation as early as a young child. Definitely by the time they were in middle school. The difference is that back then it wasn't so easy to come out or they were in denial but deep inside really knew what they were.

I'm not quite sure what to make with this sudden flux of gender fluid people and frankly I think it's just a bunch of kids who want to be alternative and cool when in reality they know perfectly well what their gender and sexuality is. It's a byproduct of teen angst. We don't have anywhere near the number of gender fluid adults

99% of these gender fluid kids will suddenly turn out to be perfectly straight or gay a few years from now. I'm not really sure if this indulgence that seems to be going on is truly beneficial because for the kids who genuinely have....issues...it can be counterproductive by failing to provide a truly solid ground but leaving them out at sea, so to speak.