S/o Are your kids paying for your sins? (Adultery) - AMA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one here that thinks their parent's behavior had zero effect on them? My dad was an angry alcoholic and my mom was a vicious, selfish beauty queen. I'm pretty damn normal.

Maybe it depends on the rest of the family dynamics and birth order... did you have a tribe of friends who "raised you" and/or were you incredibly independent from an early age?

This is OP and I was one of the youngest in family. I tended to be enmeshed and sensitive from an early age, tried to "fix" stuff. TBH, it made me kind of addicted to drama from then on, which is why DCUM is entertaining

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one here that thinks their parent's behavior had zero effect on them? My dad was an angry alcoholic and my mom was a vicious, selfish beauty queen. I'm pretty damn normal.

Consider yourself lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister's husband's mother did the exact same thing. She has three sons, the oldest has severe mental problems and is on disability, my brother-in-law had to be put in a mental hospital and is also on disability, and the youngest is very OCD about everything in his life, and everything has to be perfect. She actually shot their dad in the leg once during an argument. It messed all of them up. My brother-in-law is very controlling, has cheated on my sister many times, and she still stays because she said it's easier to stay than to leave. So yes, I think they are paying dearly.

I feel very sorry for your sister PP!

[Anonymous]

OP how is your brother? Has he maintained a balanced life with healthy boundaries/relationships? Are you able to talk about this with him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one here that thinks their parent's behavior had zero effect on them? My dad was an angry alcoholic and my mom was a vicious, selfish beauty queen. I'm pretty damn normal.

Yep I had an abusive alcoholic Dad who had affairs. My parents were teenagers when I was born. My mom admits to trying her best, but that she made many mistakes. Although I knew it wasn’t happening this way in others homes, I was internally content. I learned lots of lessons fast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one here that thinks their parent's behavior had zero effect on them? My dad was an angry alcoholic and my mom was a vicious, selfish beauty queen. I'm pretty damn normal.

What is your definition of normal?

How is your relationship with your husband and children?

My dad wad an alcoholic too, and all burden of raising kids was on mom. I know mom did her best, but she could do only so much. I consider myself normal too. I am happily married now with kids. But looking back at my previous relationship, I think my choices of boyfriends were definitely affected by my parents relationship.
I also caught kyself several times making some parenting mistakes based on my childhood experiences.

[Anonymous]

At some point we have to grow up and accept responsibility for our own lives and choices.