Any career military individuals on here?

[Anonymous]

My husband is career military. Its not for everyone for sure but we like this life. A government job would be good for whoever doesn't go in because I can tell you first hand moving every few years is tough on the spouses career. If you go in, can your husband handle the kids while you're gone at OCS for like 3 months? Do you have family to help support him?

My BIL and SIL are both active duty but they were in for years before having kids. Its hard. You can't just call in sick when your kids are sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not "career military", but served time in the military and am a mom (now, not then).

Quick reactions:

-it's great that you're planning as such, but don't kid yourselves, there's a good chance it won't be a "career".

-the recruiter likely doesn't give a shit why you're joining. They need to make numbers, the rest of the discussion is the just sales.

-it's odd that you guys are having a hard time deciding which one of you wants to serve. It's totally smart and realistic for it to just be one of you, and you're being realistic that it (seems to be) mainly a financial choice, but this choice, and ESP. since it's whether to try and get a commission, should be also based on who wants to lead young people through deadly circumstances, and who wants to SERVE. It really should be a calling.

This sounds altruistic and dramatic, but the person that should join should be: willing to die or be badly hurt during service, willing to deploy across the globe to shitty places for several months at a time, willing to forgo being at home with the family if work calls, and generally be willing to place service ahead of family.

It's the AF, so there's also a chance that you might end up a desk jockey somewhere, but I think the above factors need to be at the top line of your decisionmaking. People that aren't aware of these factors are miserable in the service, and/or there for the wrong reasons and a drag on operational readiness. It's like someone becoming a fireman, and not taking planning on fighting fires.

I almost said something along the same lines pp did.

But then thought about it. And honestly the majority of people I knew that joined the military did to improve their life, job training, money for college, etc. You did have a couple here and there that actually wanted to serve their country. This is more enlisted and maybe different than officers. I might also be from a different generation before too. Where in the past the GI Bill and things like that were major selling points by recruiters. Not sure how it is now.

So can't really fault the reasons on why OP would be considering it.

The big thing that I don't think a lot of people realize is how big of a commitment and sacrifice it is for everyone involved.

Is the spouse willing to raise two kids on their own, both of which are probably not even potty trained? Not just during basic training. But you don't know what kind of duty the military spouse will get including the shifts, deployments, and any training that requires them to be away.

For the spouse in the military or away, don't be surprised if your kids don't respond to you and that the daily activities in the household works fine without you.

If this is something that you or your spouse will definitely do, I'd lean towards the OP being the one to go. The reason being is that the spouse can probably get a decent paying job where ever they go to help improve the quality of life that they're seeking. Hopefully after some time in the military the OP can be set in a career, where they can easily find a career if they choose to get out later. Such as working for a government contractor. I could argue it the other way around too. But just my current train of thought.

Are you aware of the pay in the military OP?
https://www.airforce.com/careers/pay-and-benefits

And then I think you'll probably get BAH and BAS because you have a family.

The military is great and I give a lot of respect to those that served. But there's other ways to improve your quality of life that wouldn't require as much of a commitment and sacrifice that comes with being in the military. For example you can pursue a second Bachelors degree, most of the adult education places, maybe even traditional schools, only require you to earn 30 credits to get a second degree that would make it easier to find a job.

[Anonymous]

I am a 19 year USAF spouse, I have maintained my career throughout my husband's service which has included multiple deployments and we also have kids with special needs. This was not our original plan, but it ended up working for us. Here is why:

-I have a job that can be very geographically flexible- I am an outside consultant. This could work for other flexible jobs like healthcare or nursing. I still make more money than my DH, but his retirement benefits are better.
-My DH loves his job- he was enlisted and then went back to college to get his commission- then he went to school at night while serving to get his PhD in his job- and that type of commitment makes the hard parts easier to bear
-We are both committed to serving our country, we value it and are proud of the service our family provides. Again that is a values judgment- I don't think we would have made it if money was the only driver.
-We know that the needs of the AF will trump any of our personal needs, so I am prepared to step back at my job or have my parents move in to help or whatever has to happen to support deployments, extended training periods etc- that is just part of it- you have to be flexible, resilient and have a sense of humor
-The healthcare benefits are excellent- we can compare them to my civilian job and they have real monetary value
-The retirement benefits are really good since he will make 20 years
-The GI bill benefits he has will pay for 1 child's in state tuition- that is big for us because we are paying out of pocket for a lot of therapies for our kids and college savings is minimal right now
-My DH will still be able to have a second career after he retires and that will help up shore up college savings for 2nd child
-I was a child of expats, so moving doesn't really phase me. We consider our relocations as ruling out many places we do not want to retire. You have to be willing to be far away from family and just figure it out. We look at that part as an adventure.
-Once we determined that we had kids with special needs and that stability/ continuity of treatment was critical, then my DH's career choices became about making that happen. There are many possible assignments in the DC area, but the AF really hates it when people look like they are "homesteading" so there are no guarantees that would work for you. We chose to live apart in some cases so we could maintain services for our kids.

These are things for you to consider:
-The tests that you need to pass aren't that difficult, but if you are truly a terrible test taker you should practice. It is competitive to join the USAF, so be prepared. There are lots of contracting jobs, but those can deploy.
-Do not believe the recruiters when they tell you a role does not deploy. They don't know that and will tell you what you want to hear to meet their numbers.
-The retirement system is changing- you need to get the details on the new plan to determine its impact on you. It will be more like a corporate 401K which is good if you don't intend to stay for 20 years.
-I am not sure what is happening with the GI bill- you need details on the current program to determine its value for you.
-You should try to get into a field where there are civilian opportunities in case you can't stay for 20 year. Get a security clearance, do cyber intelligence work.
-How flexible/ resilient are your kids? For some kids this lifestyle really isn't a good fit and that will make your lives 1000% harder.

-I also agree with the PP that you have to want to be a leader. You may be asked to lead people into harm's way- that is even harder than going yourself. If you are not prepared to do that, then you need to rethink joining any branch of the military.

[Anonymous]

You are good to ask other military members for advice. I'm a retired Army MSG and served 22 years, getting out in 2016. I'm a woman and my husband endured several years of having to work as a personal trainer when we were in locations where he could not get employment as an Electronics Technician (overseas). At the time I deployed to Iraq when my daughters were 3 & 5. I was lucky to only have to go once and it was heartbreaking to leave them. But we were all resilient. Also in upper echelons you work long hours and you need to be prepared for that. All of your troops come before your family and duty calls 24 hours a day for all sorts of issues. It's the most rewarding career you'll have but also full of sacrifice. You will have education benefits for your children, full healthcare for life (if you retire) and free while you are in but the realities are many couples don't make it and it's hard on children. I retired when mine moved to middle school so they wouldn't have to move around anymore and also because my own body was breaking down and it was painful to continue the physical aspects of the role. I am not a government employee and my skills I earned have me earning six figures and my husband is also a government employee. Our time with Army allowed us to see the world and make lifelong friendships. You must be a family that is willing to make sacrifices and your husband if he chooses not to enter the service needs to be supportive and not resentful of that. There are many powerful, wonderful women serving but understand as the wife, mother and leader it's even more of a burden on you to serve. Know that the Air Force is the most family friendly of all the services so if you do join that is an excellent route. They also build service members that are extremely technically and administratively proficient whereas for the Army you are a "trained killer" first and foremost. The AF is the least physically demanding as well. However promotions are MUCH slower and require more extensive technical knowledge. Being a good test taker and able to retain vast amounts of information are key for promotion in the Air Force (I worked in many joint assignments). If that is a struggle you'll want to reconsider. You have to study each year for your promotion test and do well to even be considered. Good luck!!

[Anonymous]

Also take extreme care in what job you choose. The recruiter will offer you what's needed and have to fill a quota. You need to make sure it's something you'll do for life as most people continue that career when they get out.