Would keep dating someone...

[Anonymous]

Can you give your exact ages? Also where is he from - what part of the country?

Early twenties and mid twenties could be 20/23 (too young) or 23/26-27. There's a big difference.

[Anonymous]

You can still find someone else while you are still young. Don't waste your prime years waiting on a proposal. He thinks "why buy a cow if I can get the milk for free?" He is getting all the husband benefits right now, what is marriage going to give him? You are doing too much, OP.

[Anonymous]

give him another year and see if he is more committed. If not, move on.

[Anonymous]

Think about this--do you really want to be with him, or the idea of him? Why on earth would you want to be with someone who with his actions isn't showing he wants to be with you in the same way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can still find someone else while you are still young. Don't waste your prime years waiting on a proposal. He thinks "why buy a cow if I can get the milk for free?" He is getting all the husband benefits right now, what is marriage going to give him? You are doing too much, OP.

This is out-dated thinking. You've both been enjoying each other--she's been enjoying him, hopefully, just as much as he has been her. However, when the equation changes and a woman isn't getting what she wants/needs (including commitment), it's time to move on. End of story. Go find someone compatible. If the guy isn't wanting the same things, he's not compatible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry. I don't think he wants to get married right now. If you are happy never being married, then stay together. If not, then break up. He could change his mind; he's very young. But there's no guarantee.

FWIW, my DH and I were together for 3 years in our early 20's and he wouldn't propose, always saying he wasn't ready but couldn't articulate why (looking back, I think we were just too young but no one realizes they were too young until they are older). We split up. We did get back together, but not until after being apart for 3 years. If I had hounded him into it and gotten him to agree I don't think the marriage would have worked. We've been married over a decade now but I think that years-long separation was a necessary component.

NP, how did you find your way back together?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I love him but really, how long do you need before committing to a lifetime with someone?

Personally, I wouldn’t want to get married before age 25. Like someone mentioned there was so much change going on between 18-25 with school, career, growing up and being on my own that it would have been hard to make the compromises and commitment prior to that. Like I was able to consider jobs anywhere in the country, buy a house on my own, buy furniture I liked, go back to get my MBA part-time etc. and I didn’t have to run any of those decisions by anyone else or compromise with anyone other than myself. There are other people that might say the same about getting married before 30.

So how long to date really depends on you. People are different. I could never be comfortable with someone proposing after 3 months because I can’t make up my mind that quickly. Heck it took me a month to decide what pots and pans to buy to replace my old set and that isn’t necessarily a lifetime commitment. I also couldn’t be with someone that took ten years to decide to marry me but there are some people that are fine with it. If you are worried he isn’t serious about marrying you your options are to break up, propose to him, or move out (assuming you live together) and give it a year more. I think the key is that you aren’t putting your life on hold waiting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Think about this--do you really want to be with him, or the idea of him? Why on earth would you want to be with someone who with his actions isn't showing he wants to be with you in the same way?

THIS. Find someone who adores your OP. Don't beg a guy to marry you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can still find someone else while you are still young. Don't waste your prime years waiting on a proposal. He thinks "why buy a cow if I can get the milk for free?" He is getting all the husband benefits right now, what is marriage going to give him? You are doing too much, OP.

Yes! Get busy and move on.women lock the good ones down mid twenties, before you know it everywhere you turn will be wedding rings. Look up Lena Dunham- don’t let that be you! Read The Rules or Power of the P^*sy....

[Anonymous]

You don't seem to want to accept him or really want him--you want who you wish he was (which is someone who adores you and wants to marry you). He's not doing that. Go find someone whose actions actually meet your expectations.

[Anonymous]

If you decide to end it do so in a way that leaves the door open. Tell him that you love him etc and can't wait anymore and are going to start dating other people.

[Anonymous]

Remember that women mature quicker than men do.

Considering your ages, I think you both should just enjoy the status quo & enjoy what you have now.

Enjoy your good health, youth + numerous life opportunities.
There is no real timeline on this since you both are still young.

Now if you were in your forties, I could definitely see a problem.

But in your 20’s, you both have time on your side.