Moving to MD/VA with 1st grader with severe ADHD/ASD seeking school district recommendations

[Anonymous]

OP , MD is better than VA since MD State/Counties (also MD based Medical Insurances) provides ABA Services , VA doesn't cover/provide!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op see a neurologist and look for spiking while sleeping 9’ am eeg. That is what this sounds like to me. Anytime there is regression this should be done. These type of seizure disorders start at 4-5. They peak at 6. If untreated they can cause cognitive regression and always cause major behavioral issues.

OP here. We are doing this. Thanks for the recommendation.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am sorry you are going through this--I remember how stressful my life was when my child was at that age and I was so uncertain about the future. Please know that things can become clearer as he gets older, enabling the proper interventions.

I just want to say that trajectories can look strange and "regressions" are sometimes due to current demands or the environment. (I say this now but of course I explored absolutely every medical explanation for my child's behavior/withdrawal including seizures, food allergies, lyme disease, celiac's... I made the doctors test him for everything that could in any way explain how much he changed at ages 3-4).

What really changed for my kid was that he started school. He went from a super predictable, stimulating, calm life with his family and awesome nanny to school. A lovely, calm Montessori school -- none of this was their fault -- which made it all the harder to pick up on. At first he went from normal toddler stubborn to defiant, refusing to participate in many situations, sometimes totally fine, sometimes totally overwhelmed. Honestly every year from 3 to 6, while we would have temporary ups that felt very meaningful at the time, went downhill.

At 4, he was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety, which I totally saw coming but others did not because he acted so bold and outgoing in so many situations. We did years of OT for fine motor and the sensory issues. Did not seem to help at all. My son could be so withdrawn and he was so pale and he was absolutely miserable and he could be explosive--but then he could be completely his old self. Also, other than writing, he was very strong at every subject at school -- the teachers couldn't look beyond the refusals as a willful act when he was so advanced and, if anything, extraordinarily, focused. It was so upsetting and confusing.

When my son was 6 we did a neuropsych. Generalized Anxiety was confirmed, but they added serve ADHD. When he was a little older we got a severe Dysgraphia. He is 13 now and those diagnoses are super obviously correct even though they didn't look like what we expected early on.

Sorry to ramble about my personal story, I just mean to say that the age you're in makes it extremely hard to parse the issues but that does not mean they are not affecting him. Changing my son's school environment radically was a lifesaver. Our wonderful therapist, too-- though that is so slow that it is hard to tell immediately but every worthwhile!! We also moved and that was brutally challenging for our super anxious child but eventually worked itself out--not after a month or two, more like after 2 or 3 years! Medication has always been dicey for us. my son cannot handle stimulant meds but SSRIs during one stretch were extremely beneficial.

In sum, keep trying and keep looking for the moments when your child is calm and happy. Explore them and see if you can expand them. Best of look to you!

[Anonymous]

7:45. Sorry about all the typos! I also should have said that my 13-year-old is a happy kid with good friends. He is very bright, loves to read and amazing at math. It was such a slog to get here and we did some things in an unconventional way but it was worth it.

[Anonymous]

OP here-thanks for the kind words of support PP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP , MD is better than VA since MD State/Counties (also MD based Medical Insurances) provides ABA Services , VA doesn't cover/provide!

We live in Northern VA and DC has ADHD and anxiety issues. We ae having an awful time getting FCPS to do educational testing. It seems like FCPS does the bare minimum. We also go to Montgomery county to see the child psychiatrist. The child psychiatry field seems much more developed in MD than VA. Unfortunately, from our experience, I would NOT recommend FCPS.