How do working parents arrange emergency/backup child care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FWIW I don't think most people have solid backup sitters. You just get used to a higher degree of stress and you figure it out as it comes. I've also done things like send kids to school a little sick figuring it gets me part of a day before (or if) the nurse sends them home. Not great, but it doesn't happen much. If I really couldn't miss work I would consider using a service like White House Nannies. It will be an adjustment and feels like a scramble at times, but it does work out!

Nice. So your kids get a chance to get everyone else sick, you don't miss your precious work, and then the rest of us have to scramble for care for our kids.

Plus, it's just so incredibly cruel. I cannot imagine sending a sick child to school. These are the kinds of "parents" (and I use the term loosely) who should never have children. Kids deserve so much better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some employers have an arrangement with an agency for back-up care so I'd check on that first. Otherwise, White House Nannies.

We've used White House Nannies for back up care with great success.

OP here. would love to learn more about WH nannies. I see that there's a sign up rate collected by the agency. How much do the nannies typically charge for backup care?

[Anonymous]

OP here again. As a new hire, when is it appropriate for me to raise the issue of wanting to work from home (when DH can't cover) when the kids are sick? Should I just bring it up when it has to happen, or does it make sense to talk to my new supervisor in advance?

I know other parents are dealing with this issue constantly, and I'm not the only one, but I am so afraid of coming off as the new hire who can't seem to get her $hit together when it comes to dealing w/ kids. If I had more seniority I wouldn't be so worried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I usually try to split sick days with DH (one of us goes in early and returns at noon, while the other goes in at noon and comes back late).

We often do this too. That way neither of us takes the hit completely, and we are each able to attend some meetings in person.

[Anonymous]

You will figure it out as you go along. Thankfully elementary kid sick days are typically much fewer than daycare kid sick days. I’d wait until you’re settled in at your office to approach the telework with a sick kid. My office prohibits telework but when my kids are sick I still complete work at home and I’ve had no problems with that arrangement other than covering my meetings. I often don’t tell my job when it’s a kid sick vs. me sick because I feel like my boss thinks of the two very differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FWIW I don't think most people have solid backup sitters. You just get used to a higher degree of stress and you figure it out as it comes. I've also done things like send kids to school a little sick figuring it gets me part of a day before (or if) the nurse sends them home. Not great, but it doesn't happen much. If I really couldn't miss work I would consider using a service like White House Nannies. It will be an adjustment and feels like a scramble at times, but it does work out!

Nice. So your kids get a chance to get everyone else sick, you don't miss your precious work, and then the rest of us have to scramble for care for our kids.

I'm the PP. Maybe I made this sound worse than it is, but basically, you do what you gotta do--work from home, take the day off, split shifts, call grandma, call the neighbors for an emergency favor, let an older kid stay home alone for a couple hours, send a kid who's a little iffy to school when you'd probably not do that if you SAH.

I'm being honest. When you work an unforgiving job without enough flexibility, you do what you have to do. I wish jobs were family-friendlier and I've switched jobs to try to not have to make such hard decisions and feel so much stress about it. But I meant OP to understand that you can make it work if you have to.

[Anonymous]

Grandparents are our first backup of the sickness is not too bad or dangerous for them (we have 3 grandparents available since the ILs are retired and my parents have flexible jobs). Dh and I split days as well. I can work from home and make up hours as long as I’m reachable by phone most of the day (having worked at my org for 15 years and now the office boss). We also have our old nanny who is now retired we can call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. As a new hire, when is it appropriate for me to raise the issue of wanting to work from home (when DH can't cover) when the kids are sick? Should I just bring it up when it has to happen, or does it make sense to talk to my new supervisor in advance?

I know other parents are dealing with this issue constantly, and I'm not the only one, but I am so afraid of coming off as the new hire who can't seem to get her $hit together when it comes to dealing w/ kids. If I had more seniority I wouldn't be so worried.

I would strongly urge you not to suggest that you intend to telework to cover sick kids as a new hire. That makes it sound like you intend to use teleworking as child care- something that is prohibited in the federal government and by most employers. Honestly, if you were my new hire that suggestion would make me hesitate to let you telework at all. (As a mom of elementary school kids I get it- you actually can have older sick kids at home and work a lot, they mostly just watch tv and play video games. But I am warning you, unless your supervisor has kids who are exactly the same age as yours- they will most likely not get this and not look kindly upon this request.)
If your DH has the leave- have him cover all sick days and routine doctors appointments. I would make this true for the first month you are at your new job- possibly the first two months. You want to come no strong and show that you are totally committed to the job.
Snow days I would put in a different category. If there is snow, then lots of people are impacted, and things usually change at the office anyway. I wouldn't worry to much about taking off/ teleworking on snow days.
I don't know what type of job your DH has- but there need to be very few days that are truly 'he can't miss' days.
I know co-workers who have found the splitting the day method to be effective. My DH and I both have long enough commutes that we would waste to much time doing that. Instead we basically trade days back and forth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FWIW I don't think most people have solid backup sitters. You just get used to a higher degree of stress and you figure it out as it comes. I've also done things like send kids to school a little sick figuring it gets me part of a day before (or if) the nurse sends them home. Not great, but it doesn't happen much. If I really couldn't miss work I would consider using a service like White House Nannies. It will be an adjustment and feels like a scramble at times, but it does work out!

I work full-time, and would never ever do this. It is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FWIW I don't think most people have solid backup sitters. You just get used to a higher degree of stress and you figure it out as it comes. I've also done things like send kids to school a little sick figuring it gets me part of a day before (or if) the nurse sends them home. Not great, but it doesn't happen much. If I really couldn't miss work I would consider using a service like White House Nannies. It will be an adjustment and feels like a scramble at times, but it does work out!

You're the worst.

[Anonymous]

My income daycare has an extensive network. During school breaks they bring on extra people to watch the kids out of school. She also has backup care that we use during her annual leave.

When the kids are truly sick dh takes off or we've flown my parents in. Because of maternity leaves I still have no sick leave

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FWIW I don't think most people have solid backup sitters. You just get used to a higher degree of stress and you figure it out as it comes. I've also done things like send kids to school a little sick figuring it gets me part of a day before (or if) the nurse sends them home. Not great, but it doesn't happen much. If I really couldn't miss work I would consider using a service like White House Nannies. It will be an adjustment and feels like a scramble at times, but it does work out!

Nice. So your kids get a chance to get everyone else sick, you don't miss your precious work, and then the rest of us have to scramble for care for our kids.

This is how I ended up with pink eye for Christmas. -elementary teacher

Do they not send kids home if they suspect pink eye anymore? Pink eye is spread really easily...all it takes is touching a contaminated surface and then touching your eye - you could have picked it up in a number of places (unless you had a kid in your class with a pink, oozing eye; but then I would be hyper-vigilant about hand washing!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I usually try to split sick days with DH (one of us goes in early and returns at noon, while the other goes in at noon and comes back late).

We often do this too. That way neither of us takes the hit completely, and we are each able to attend some meetings in person.

Us, too, although I realize not everyone is lucky enough to be able to do this. If DC is really sick (vomiting) - I use leave. I am able to telework if it’s more of a “he’s sick and lying on the couch watching TV” kind of sick.

[Anonymous]

For snow I got a teenage girl who obviously was off too.

[Anonymous]

Depends on who has what going on at work. We were even known to split, I'd go to work in am for important meeting, DH would go to work in the afternoon. And/or there are times when you habe to work from home and domt get much done. And, it gets better. When the kids are older, they can stay home alone (really - it'll happen!).