Please help - 3.5 year old wakes up between 4:30 - 5 am every day

[Anonymous]

If you have small kids you might have to deal with being up before 6 for a few years.

[Anonymous]

My 3.5 year old doesn't nap, and goes to bed at 8:30. She normally sleeps until 7-7:30, sometimes longer. I'd try pushing bedtime back just a little bit and see if that adjusts things slightly. That's not going to be a popular solution probably. We do prizes in our house. If DD keeps her pull up dry she gets a small prize (the first few times were big prizes) and if she stays in her bed all night until the sun comes up she also gets a prize. The prize fits the accomplishment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have to drop the nap. Of course he’s going to ask for it back so just prepare for a few days of adjustment. You could start by shortening the nap rather than eliminating it. Be firm in getting him up after 1.5 hours, then 1.25 hours, then 1, then 45 minutes, then no nap. This will naturally create a sleep deficit that he will start to make up over night. Waking up so early is a classic symptom of asking a kid to sleep too many hours in a 24 hour day. He’s almost 4 so it’s unsurprising he’s having this issue— most kids don’t nap or don’t nap so long by that age.

[Anonymous]

Sleep begets sleep.

Bring back the nap, put him to bed earlier (sounds counter intuitive, but sleep begets sleep) plus all the other things - black out curtains, quiet time until green shows on the alarm clock with small reward for success, white noise, etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here...

It's been five days of no naps and the wakes ups are still before 6 am. How long does it take for the sleep debt to catch up??? (Asking desperately)

He's had no naps except one 10 minute snooze on the way to the dentist.

Thanks for any insight.

The nap is not the problem. You have an early bird who is eager to start his day.

When he wakes you up at 4:30 AM are you able to put him back in bed tuck him in and tell him it’s not time to get up yet? The next question is are you able to go back to sleep or does that wake you up for the day.

[Anonymous]

3.5 is very old for a nap. You need to drop it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have small kids you might have to deal with being up before 6 for a few years.

This.

[Anonymous]

This thread is from 2017 and the kid is a teen who probably sleeps till noon.

[Anonymous]

Mine did this until he was in middle school, even after stopping nap. It’s just how it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Again...thanks for the confidence boost. I can do this!

We have a noise machine, black out shades and used the OK to wake clock. None worked. He kept on coming into our room to tell us the bunny hasn't woken up yet.

Then we put a regular clock in his room and told him to wait until he saw the 7. That didn't work either.

We finally got the monkey lock and said he could play quietly but couldn't come out of his room until 7. Let me save you the suspense...he wasn't quiet!

And thanks for the reminder that we can't drive anywhere! Totally didn't think of that.


One day, I'll look back at this and laugh. But right now, I'm very very tired! And so is my DH!!

2.5 hours of playing in your room quietly isn't remotely realistic with a 3 year old. If he's waking at 4:30, you set the time at 4:15, so he's successful -- look you did it! Lots of celebration. Then creep it forward.

I'd also think of putting some kind of super rewarding toy in his room that goes away when he wakes you up.

Other things to think about:

1) Set up an iPad (super locked down so he can only play a few approved games) so it's locked until a certain time, and then he can have it until he wakes you up. We did a version of this with TV, but if it was now, i'd use an iPad.

2) Adults take turns getting him and out of the house, so each of you gets to sleep till whenever once in a while.

3) Lean into it. Shift your sleep schedule, and then plan on using the early time for something productive.

[Anonymous]

What time do you put him to bed at night? Keep him up an extra hour

[Anonymous]

OP, the key thing is to use the ok to wake clock incrementally. Say he wakes at 5am right now. Set that clock for 5:15. Once he can sleep to 5:15, set it to 5:30 etc. Get him to trust and rely on that clock. I did this with one of my kids, though he was younger then, maybe 2-2.5? But he would wake at 5-5:30 every single morning and would be eager to play. It was painful but I did the incremental method and it worked. Got him to wake at 6:30, which was still early but acceptable.

If you set it to 7am, it is unrealistic. He will get bored waiting for it to turn green and not care about it. You need to slowly get him and his body to rely on it. Good luck. It sucks but it will pass, one way or another.