DH getting hurt from messages from ILs even though he has broken contact

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had to cut off my parents due to abuse. Other family members got involved in writing me letters, trying to serve as go betweens (all their choice). Eventually, I had to cut them off too because they had no respect for boundaries. Your husband needs to be strong, tell the other family members to cut out the crap or he's done with them too. And follow through. No more chances.

Block al the numbers.

He should, in fact, change his cell number . Maybe you and he can switch phones /numbers if you don't want to toss the number just yet ( you could block them for him).

The reason to cut people off is to establish boundaries until civilized behavior is the result. This is not happening so you should fully block them for at least a few years.

How far away do they live?

[Anonymous]

Has your DH spoken to a counselor about any of this? If not, he should. Good counselors have seen this hundreds of times and can help him better see the patterns/dynamics of these people and how to take a step back from the emotional blackmail. You work with a trainer to improve your physical conditioning, why wouldn't you see a counselor to help your mental conditioning?

[Anonymous]

There's an excellent book called "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend. It walks you through exactly these kinds of situations and is useful for learning to deal with toxic dynamics and people.

Another he'll have to learn is how to handle his feelings when people do and say things trying to push his buttons.