Ignorant soccer parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I believe it's due to the type of people who live in wealthy, intellectual, competitive areas like ours. Once they have kids, the competitive mindset takes over, and they believe their kids have to be brilliant at something, if not everything.

My friend's husband was convinced his gymnast daughter would get a scholarship. Then she was dropped from the team, started ballet, and now he's convinced she's going to be a ballet star.

We try to avoid those subjects when he's around. He'll look you straight in the eye, and say in an awed voice: "she's REALLY talented". Oh God.

My kids are talented in some areas, but it has never occurred to me to elevate them on a pedestal and *tell other people*. If they really are, it will show, and there is no need for words!

It could happen! I know a girl who was a gymnast and now dances with a professional ballet company. She loved the ballet they had to take to be on the gymnastics team and switched over to just ballet, and now she does that for a living. A lot of the skills that make a good gymnast translate well to ballet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m intentionally keeping my kids in a non travel league at this point- they are exceptional athletes and play many sports- I’m already seeing Kids who are 10 and dropping out of travel because they are “burned out” from three times a week practice and several games a weekend/year round soccer.

It’s nuts. We are very well off and I’m disgusted at what my peers pay for custom lax sticks for 7 year olds, private coaching, hell these folks have to buy several different PRACTICE uniforms for their kids.

People are nuts.

I have had kids in travel and rec, and the worst parent behavior I've seen has been in rec. Unfortunately rec won't save you.

I’d quit that team or switch. Not so easy on these travel teams.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should meet some baseball parents, op. Every boy in Washington is destined for MLB

Especially in VLL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I believe it's due to the type of people who live in wealthy, intellectual, competitive areas like ours. Once they have kids, the competitive mindset takes over, and they believe their kids have to be brilliant at something, if not everything.

My friend's husband was convinced his gymnast daughter would get a scholarship. Then she was dropped from the team, started ballet, and now he's convinced she's going to be a ballet star.

We try to avoid those subjects when he's around. He'll look you straight in the eye, and say in an awed voice: "she's REALLY talented". Oh God.

My kids are talented in some areas, but it has never occurred to me to elevate them on a pedestal and *tell other people*. If they really are, it will show, and there is no need for words!

It could happen! I know a girl who was a gymnast and now dances with a professional ballet company. She loved the ballet they had to take to be on the gymnastics team and switched over to just ballet, and now she does that for a living. A lot of the skills that make a good gymnast translate well to ballet.

That's exactly what's throwing this father off. His daughter came into ballet with all the skills of a gymnast, and has progressed quickly in the basic classes. But ballet starts its own special level of hell en pointe, and that's when reality will sink in. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

For one thing, if you want your kid to get a scholarship, soccer is the wrong sport. Everyone plays soccer. Try field hockey or lacrosse. I am talking about girls.

My daughter plays soccer because she loves. No illusions here...nor among any of the other parents we know.

[Anonymous]

I take a different tact with my boys. I spend most of my time telling them how bad they are and how much they smell. There are no inflated egos in my car. I think other parents are surprised. When a parent tries to blow smoke up my a$$ and tell me how amazing DS is, I always respond with, "Well, he's not nearly as good as he thinks he is." That stops a lot of NOVA over-achievers in their tracks because all they ever hear from other parents is how exceptionally gifted each and every one of their kids are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I take a different tact with my boys. I spend most of my time telling them how bad they are and how much they smell. There are no inflated egos in my car. I think other parents are surprised. When a parent tries to blow smoke up my a$$ and tell me how amazing DS is, I always respond with, "Well, he's not nearly as good as he thinks he is." That stops a lot of NOVA over-achievers in their tracks because all they ever hear from other parents is how exceptionally gifted each and every one of their kids are.

My kid never thinks he’s good enough. He’s been that way since Kindergarten. Big contrast to most kids that walk around cocky as shit with their soccer hair and big egos.

Some of it is their parents, but also coaches that pick their favorites at 8 and woo and fawn over them....until they don’t materialize at 14.

Pride and ego check is good. The showboats tend to be lazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m intentionally keeping my kids in a non travel league at this point- they are exceptional athletes and play many sports- I’m already seeing Kids who are 10 and dropping out of travel because they are “burned out” from three times a week practice and several games a weekend/year round soccer.

It’s nuts. We are very well off and I’m disgusted at what my peers pay for custom lax sticks for 7 year olds, private coaching, hell these folks have to buy several different PRACTICE uniforms for their kids.

People are nuts.

Especially once all that parental time/energy (+ opportunity cost) is taken into account, it seems like it would be cheaper to just pay for college.... even assuming the child was to get one of these coveted scholarships that are apparently so hard to get. Has anyone actually done a cost/benefit analysis for this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I take a different tact with my boys. I spend most of my time telling them how bad they are and how much they smell. There are no inflated egos in my car. I think other parents are surprised. When a parent tries to blow smoke up my a$$ and tell me how amazing DS is, I always respond with, "Well, he's not nearly as good as he thinks he is." That stops a lot of NOVA over-achievers in their tracks because all they ever hear from other parents is how exceptionally gifted each and every one of their kids are.

My kid never thinks he’s good enough. He’s been that way since Kindergarten. Big contrast to most kids that walk around cocky as shit with their soccer hair and big egos.

Some of it is their parents, but also coaches that pick their favorites at 8 and woo and fawn over them....until they don’t materialize at 14.

Pride and ego check is good. The showboats tend to be lazy.

so I agree with both of you and say similar to my son BUT he puts his hair up because he is tiny..gives him a bit more height

[Anonymous]

Act like you've done it before. That's what I tell my kids and I try to keep that same mindset. I get a kick out of the parent that paces with his/her kid like their a ref and the mom that blurps out "they are targeting my kid because they can't stop he/she".

If you shut up an listen, you may find out your kid really is/not that good. I really enjoy when a parent/player/coach screams out, "will someone please watch #XX". That's a good indicator that your child is doing well and you didn't even have to brag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Especially once all that parental time/energy (+ opportunity cost) is taken into account, it seems like it would be cheaper to just pay for college.... even assuming the child was to get one of these coveted scholarships that are apparently so hard to get. Has anyone actually done a cost/benefit analysis for this?

No, probably not. But if you figure $3000/year for travel soccer * 8 years, you'd better have better than a 1 in 8 chance for a (full) scholarship to make the "investment" worthwhile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m intentionally keeping my kids in a non travel league at this point- they are exceptional athletes and play many sports- I’m already seeing Kids who are 10 and dropping out of travel because they are “burned out” from three times a week practice and several games a weekend/year round soccer.

It’s nuts. We are very well off and I’m disgusted at what my peers pay for custom lax sticks for 7 year olds, private coaching, hell these folks have to buy several different PRACTICE uniforms for their kids.

People are nuts.

I have seen a lot of kids who should not be in travel on travel teams. In the younger years, I see a lot of rec players who should be in travel but their parents are clueless about soccer/don’t want to pay/can’t pay/don’t have the time. It’s not so much burnout as the kids do not have the skill, desire and drive to play on a very competitive team and at some point that is no fun for the kid. Those kids should be playing on a travel lite or rec team. A lower level travel team player will kill it in rec and have fun. The parents are into though...my dd/ds is on x club and its the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Especially once all that parental time/energy (+ opportunity cost) is taken into account, it seems like it would be cheaper to just pay for college.... even assuming the child was to get one of these coveted scholarships that are apparently so hard to get. Has anyone actually done a cost/benefit analysis for this?

No, probably not. But if you figure $3000/year for travel soccer * 8 years, you'd better have better than a 1 in 8 chance for a (full) scholarship to make the "investment" worthwhile.

It’s not a 1 in 8 chance of get a scholarship. It’s a 10% chance of playing soccer in college if you are on a competitive soccer team your senior year in high school. Very few of those that play in college are on a full scholarship.

[Anonymous]

The sad part about youth sports is that too many parents are living vicariously through their children. They aspire for their kids to be better than they were and will do whatever they can to make that happen. They will try to attend every practice and certainly attend every game. I was one of 7 kids and most of the time my parents didn't attend my games because there were so many of us! I loved sports and was very good at them (at the expense of being a good student!) but I never had a helicopter parent driving me nuts.

[Anonymous]

My DS is 10 and was born with a severe leg disability such that one leg is a couple of inches shorter than the other with virtually no calf muscle. But he is an amazing little athlete who sometimes leaves me teary eyed. We never brag about him and I'm always stunned by those parents who think their 10 year old is gods gift to whatever sport they are playing and how the coach stinks because he doesn't keep their kid in the entire game. I just hold my tongue but these parents are clueless.