11 year old - very MS adjustment - next step?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Understood, PP. thanks for the check. For those of us on the outside and still unknowledgeable about this world of evals and diagnoses, it's scary entering it not knowing what we'll encounter. Or at least it is for me. I admittedly have my back up ready to protect my son from what I fear will be "professionals" who insist that the route must include prescription drugs. I will check myself, keep an open mind and remember that Im not the first mom to agonize over the decision.

Most professionals and parents don't automatically reach for the meds. There are behavioral interventions that are also used and can be successful. For most of us, a combination ofnthe two has been the most effective.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Follow up question. What, if anything, do I tell the school at this point? He's never been diagnosed with anything SN-related, no IEP, etc. So do we go down the path of an evaluation with Stixrud (or whoever we go with--thanks PPs for the other mentions) on our own for the time being and then share the outcome with the school as needed? Is there value/obligation in telling the school about our concerns now and our plans to have him evaluated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Follow up question. What, if anything, do I tell the school at this point? He's never been diagnosed with anything SN-related, no IEP, etc. So do we go down the path of an evaluation with Stixrud (or whoever we go with--thanks PPs for the other mentions) on our own for the time being and then share the outcome with the school as needed? Is there value/obligation in telling the school about our concerns now and our plans to have him evaluated?

I would tell the school counselor that your son is struggling with the workload and organization and he is internalizing it. Ask tor support/help/tips. This is VERY common at the beginning for most kids -- so they should have ideas.

Save examples of school work that show the issues.

In the meantime (like this weekend) spend time online searching for things like homework and organizational strategies and ways to improve executive function. You can coach your child on a lot of this at home. I find a lot of good information on understood.org at additudemag.com

You can ask the school to do an evaluation -- if you don't want to do it privately. It will almost certainly be less extensive but it may get the job done.

[Anonymous]

Thank you, PP! I appreciate the links very much.

[Anonymous]

NP but one final issue is that I don't think stixrud really specializes in the emotional componant. If anxiety/depression are major concerns, I might look elsewhere. They are very good at the educational/learning disability piece, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP but one final issue is that I don't think stixrud really specializes in the emotional componant. If anxiety/depression are major concerns, I might look elsewhere. They are very good at the educational/learning disability piece, though.

OP here. Honestly, PP emotional IS a big concern for us. Going on not much more than mother's intuition, how sensitive he can be and his behavior during these anxiety-ridden breakdowns, I do have this worry. Can anyone recommend a practice similar to Stixrud that does have a solid track record for emotional insight too? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP but one final issue is that I don't think stixrud really specializes in the emotional componant. If anxiety/depression are major concerns, I might look elsewhere. They are very good at the educational/learning disability piece, though.

OP here. Honestly, PP emotional IS a big concern for us. Going on not much more than mother's intuition, how sensitive he can be and his behavior during these anxiety-ridden breakdowns, I do have this worry. Can anyone recommend a practice similar to Stixrud that does have a solid track record for emotional insight too? Thanks.

I"m the one who mentioned Mindwell Psychology above. Our son has anxiety and inattentive ADHD. Spent a lot of time drilling down on the two, and it was pretty clear that the anxiety was the 'bigger' issue. However, there is a saying that says ADHD rarely runs alone. Many kids have other issues -- any good neuropsychologist will explore both.

The school evaluations or the simpler psychoed, less so.

Daisy Pascualvaca is often recommended here as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP but one final issue is that I don't think stixrud really specializes in the emotional componant. If anxiety/depression are major concerns, I might look elsewhere. They are very good at the educational/learning disability piece, though.

OP here. Honestly, PP emotional IS a big concern for us. Going on not much more than mother's intuition, how sensitive he can be and his behavior during these anxiety-ridden breakdowns, I do have this worry. Can anyone recommend a practice similar to Stixrud that does have a solid track record for emotional insight too? Thanks.

Stixrud is good at anxiety/ADHD too. They diagnosed my kid's ADHD. We didn't even suspect it, we thought it was all anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Have these issues only been present since the start of the school year?

If so it is likely more adjustment / transition and the need to learn differently coping strategies and work habits.

He might have just not been prepared or ready for the change

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP but one final issue is that I don't think stixrud really specializes in the emotional componant. If anxiety/depression are major concerns, I might look elsewhere. They are very good at the educational/learning disability piece, though.

OP here. Honestly, PP emotional IS a big concern for us. Going on not much more than mother's intuition, how sensitive he can be and his behavior during these anxiety-ridden breakdowns, I do have this worry. Can anyone recommend a practice similar to Stixrud that does have a solid track record for emotional insight too? Thanks.

Stixrud is good at anxiety/ADHD too. They diagnosed my kid's ADHD. We didn't even suspect it, we thought it was all anxiety.

I have to agree that Stixrud was really good with the anxiety component of my DS's challenges - and DS is a complex case that includes anxiety, ADHD and a language disorder (no ASD). They do not treat anxiety but can refer you to other providers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have these issues only been present since the start of the school year?

If so it is likely more adjustment / transition and the need to learn differently coping strategies and work habits.

He might have just not been prepared or ready for the change

Thanks for posing the question. I have no doubt that the adjustment to middle school has been difficult partially because there's so much change involved. And initially I kept telling myself that's all it was but his behavior and sense of...almost anguish at times, tells me it's something more, something deeper. I hope I'm wrong, but my nagging little voice says "nope." Can anyone recommend a good book, resource or website about helping middle schoolers develop executive functioning skills? To the extent that I can help him be better organized and methodical, I want to do that. Thanks. --OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have these issues only been present since the start of the school year?

If so it is likely more adjustment / transition and the need to learn differently coping strategies and work habits.

He might have just not been prepared or ready for the change

Thanks for posing the question. I have no doubt that the adjustment to middle school has been difficult partially because there's so much change involved. And initially I kept telling myself that's all it was but his behavior and sense of...almost anguish at times, tells me it's something more, something deeper. I hope I'm wrong, but my nagging little voice says "nope." Can anyone recommend a good book, resource or website about helping middle schoolers develop executive functioning skills? To the extent that I can help him be better organized and methodical, I want to do that. Thanks. --OP

Try the book "Smart but Scattered" by Dawson and Guare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP but one final issue is that I don't think stixrud really specializes in the emotional componant. If anxiety/depression are major concerns, I might look elsewhere. They are very good at the educational/learning disability piece, though.

OP here. Honestly, PP emotional IS a big concern for us. Going on not much more than mother's intuition, how sensitive he can be and his behavior during these anxiety-ridden breakdowns, I do have this worry. Can anyone recommend a practice similar to Stixrud that does have a solid track record for emotional insight too? Thanks.

Stixrud is good at anxiety/ADHD too. They diagnosed my kid's ADHD. We didn't even suspect it, we thought it was all anxiety.

I have to agree that Stixrud was really good with the anxiety component of my DS's challenges - and DS is a complex case that includes anxiety, ADHD and a language disorder (no ASD). They do not treat anxiety but can refer you to other providers.

Agree - we had a case of emotional and learning issues and Stixrud was great at parsing it out and offering recommendations for everything.

[Anonymous]

Puberty brings on changes too. Depression and anxiety can start around this age. It's better that you have him evaluated vs. ignoring it.