Help me settle this gender-based email etiquette issue

[Anonymous]

Four thoughts.

Any great supervisor/leader gives credit for extraordinary ideas when they can single you out as the lone fox.

Extraordinary ideas are usually a team effort.

The I/me language is self serving. You prefer to work alone and take credit from peers yourself even on mundane perfunctory tasks.

You'll climb the ladder faster when you actuslize building great teams. You just aren't that brilliant solo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems unprofessional and casual. I've never heard I'm supposed to do this. Also, how is this gender based?

OP here. TO be clear, my example was casual, but basically the idea is that you don't directly say you did XYZ even when you did.

Can I get over this hangup and just say I, I, I all the time?

I work in a company that is historically woman-owned and operated. Still a lot of women in leadership positions. There is a lot of "we developed this" as well as a lot of "such and such did this, did a great job, etc.". So, people don't take credit for "I did this" too often, however a lot of credit is given where it is due.

[Anonymous]

I was also trained to say "we" but I honestly though it is because I am in the federal government in a policy-heavy job, and "we " indicates that I am speaking for my whole policy team. "We approve" or "(Office symbol) approves" or "We have reviewed the report". The plural is because I don't have any of my own opinions. My team or my organization has policy positions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was also trained to say "we" but I honestly though it is because I am in the federal government in a policy-heavy job, and "we " indicates that I am speaking for my whole policy team. "We approve" or "(Office symbol) approves" or "We have reviewed the report". The plural is because I don't have any of my own opinions. My team or my organization has policy positions.

"We" started when personal responsibility got removed. Nobody is accountable now. It's very annoying when there are no clear roles but just a herd.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have never heard this rule. I'm a woman and I use pronouns always, including the singular "I" when it's accurate. I give credit directly ("Excellent analysis, Jane") and copy or separately inform the person's supervisor if that's appropriate. In my opinion the following are all acceptable:

I reviewed the report.
I discussed it with Betty, who pointed out x.
Jim found a helpful source, y, that you might want to read.
We recommend z.
We are not ready to clear the report, because I want to discuss it with Anne when she returns next week.
My office clears the report.
Please copy me/us/person when you email the client.
We appreciate your including us in the discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gender based because women are constantly getting credit stolen from them, and are notorious for saying "we wrote the report" when in reality the woman wrote 95% of the report. And men are notorious for letting them get away with it, or taking advantage...

WRONG. Who the hell even comes up with questions like the one from OP.If it's we, then put we. If it's just you, then put I. So much overanalyzing that I wonder how some people function on a daily basis.

[Anonymous]

1. Always write in complete sentences.

2. Try not to start your missive with "I".

3. Do take credit by using personal pronouns and naming others when applicable.

4. Courtesy is a must: "Good morning X, This is to let you know that I have completed Report 1, and am waiting for Y to finish Report 2."

This is NOT difficult, OP.

[Anonymous]

Hello x,

Please find the attached report y. Please let me know if you have any questions.

Regards,
Larla

Different from....

Here is the report I created for you attached.

Get over yourself OP. Everyone produces lots, rarely in a vacuum. When you emphasize your singular contribution, you seem weak sauce. Your words are pompous and translate to doing someone a huge favor for some task which is likely just a cog in the wheel of business.

You didn't create the 65th crayola crayon color. It's just a damn work document.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was also trained to say "we" but I honestly though it is because I am in the federal government in a policy-heavy job, and "we " indicates that I am speaking for my whole policy team. "We approve" or "(Office symbol) approves" or "We have reviewed the report". The plural is because I don't have any of my own opinions. My team or my organization has policy positions.

Yeah, I say "we" when I am speaking for the office, as it were, and "I" when I am speaking for myself.

As for the emails, there's nothing wrong with saying that you did something if you actually did it. Cut out the fat, though. "This is to let you know," "I am letting you know," etc. is just filler. Just say the thing you are letting them know. And eliminating the subject of the sentences is annoying.

[Anonymous]

As a lawyer (associate), I always say "we" referring to myself and the partner (more often than not a female in my case), not because I am giving the partner credit for my work but because I am expressing the partner's buy-in to the message. If I send a client a draft and say, "Attached is my draft brief ..." that may be more accurate because I wrote it, but if I say "Attached is our draft brief ...," the client knows the partner has reviewed, revised as needed, and signed off on it. Not sure if that is relevant to OP's situation but just my experience.