the Geek factor

[Anonymous]

Geek and nerd are names given by dumb kids to the smart kids. If a smart kid is made fun of for who they are, sometimes even by teachers, and as is obvious from these boards, by other parents, this will impact on a child's confidence. At a top private school, there are more smart kids, more parents who are impressed by and enjoy smart kids and this helps with self-esteem. Which are the top schools from this perspective: The Big 3 and on the basis of schools that I toured and parents I talked to WIS, CHDS (a very strong no bullying program which is why I include it here), not St. Pats and not WES (not enough *extremely* smart kids, not strong enough on bullying. These are good schools but if your kid is supersmart (99.9% and comments in report about hitting the ceiling of the test) they will probably be better elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

I went to a top private school in another city and being smart really had nothing to do with being cool. Some of the coolest kids were some of the smartest too. One advantage is that everyone, even the cool kids, wanted to be considered smart and admired the smartest of the bunch. There was sometimes pressure yes, but in the end I think we were all the better for it. And the social experience was very similar to my public school friends in a general sense....high school is high school. That said, because the school was generally smaller, I think there actually tended to be less cliques (though of course they were there) and everyone knew everyone pretty well.

I think the one thing is to never let on that you really want your kid to be cool....they will sense that pressure and try too hard to achieve that "cool" status.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think 99.9% of us, OP included, sincerely want to raise well-balanced kids who love academics and are also "cool". The problem, obviously, is how to do this. School environment is one factor, parents are another (and people who say it's 100% school or 100% parents are going against a mass of literature on the subject).

From our experience with private schools, even classes within a school will vary greatly from year to year. Some schools like Bullis do have a reputation for athletics, and this undoubtedly attracts athletic kids. But for the great mass of private schools, the composition of the class itself will be determinative. Schools that are competitive in all senses -- athletic, academic and social -- can be quite stressful, and aren't for every kid.

That said, platitudes like the ones in post 5:32 aren't really helpful, just annoying....

Well said PP. I guess part of it is how we define "cool". Quick google search revealed: "excellent" or "fashionable and attractive at the time; often skilled or socially adept";

I don't think you can ignore the reality that having a certain sense of "coolness", combined with smarts, is a powerful combination which can open many doors. (intellectual intelligence + emotional intelligence). Being cool helps to build a sense of self-confidence that, in my opinion, is a critical element for kids these days. Nothing in here says you have to be cool to be successful - but there is no denying that it helps.