Quality of school for the under-five set...how important?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did Montessori and my kid ended up at Princeton. I really don't think kid would have done as well in school w/o Montessori. OP, many kids learn to read in Montessori very young. Sitting in daycare is not good. Try something else.

This is ridiculous. Non-Montessori does not equal "sitting in daycare." I also sent my child to Montessori. I ended up wishing I had made a different choice for her, because when she started at public school she told me how fun it was, and how she didn't realize school could be so fun. I felt bad that she was essentially not having any fun from ages 3 to 5, when kids should really be having fun. She read chapter books by age 4, and could do all the basic arithmetic by that age as well, but she still struggles with interpersonal relationships -- reading social cues, taking turns, etc. I feel like there's a "critical period" for learning those social skills, and it is from ages 3 to 5. The critical period for learning to read is more like 3 to 8, so there's plenty of time for that.
Incidentally, my husband and I both went to Ivies and neither of us went to Montessori. I didn't go to any preschool (other than "grandma's house") and he went to a high end play based one.

From my perspective, I think the most important thing is to send your kid someplace where the teachers care about kids and "get" kids, including the variety of personalities and learning styles. Some preschools are just warehousing kids with the cheapest "teachers" they can find. Many kids will be fine even there, but some kids will not do as well in that "sink or swim" type environment. I would ask how they deal with the kids who are hyperactive (even if yours is not), how they deal with the kids that have sensory sensitivities (even if yours does not), how they deal with the kids who are anxious (even if yours is not)....if you are getting blank stares in response to those questions, I would look elsewhere. The good preschools have teachers that take a compassionate and thoughtful approach to all the kids. At age 3, you don't really know what issues or challenges your kids might have. And, even if your kid has zero issues or challenges (wow!), the other kids in the class will have some and if the teachers are not able to deal effectively with them, then the class will not run smoothly.

[Anonymous]

For me, the most important thing was the social and emotional development and that it was fun. They were, of course, learning content along the way, through play. I don't know any preschool that isn't also introducing counting, letters, etc. But I wanted them to see school = fun. Unfortunately, for DS the great groundwork laid in preschool was ruined by an overly academic/too much sitting public kindergarten and he's hated school ever since. If I had to do it over again, I'd pursue Montessori, only because it extends through kindergarten (and beyond if child can go to Montessori elementary).

I had no interest in them encouraging early reading. Still, DS did read early while DD read late. She didn't really get the hang of reading until mid-way through 1st grade and is now a far better reader than DS and loves it while he hates it. I think the Waldorf approach of later reading is probably better for most kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You DO know that children 7 and under learn best through playing, right? Children learn through play. You WANT a preschool that involves playing in all sorts of different ways the entire time they're there.

We did that, and it was great, right up until he got to Fairfax County Kindergarten, where play is unheard of and kids were expected to read and write already. Those who couldn't read had a dreadful year. I blame Fairfax, not the preschool, but I still would have sent him somewhere else if I'd known. Or maybe done private for K instead.

The countywide expectation is that a child should leave kindergarten able to read a very simple story at a level 4 5 or 6. Ignore the Keeping Up With the Jones mentality

[Anonymous]

Children under five learn by playing with each other and the adults in their lives. Find a preschool that doesn't allow worksheets.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are seeing quite a bit of money to send our kid to a Reggio Emilia program because I really believe it's the best place for her it's very nurturing loving place and it's very play-based.

I had a neighbor who was a preschool evaluator tell me that a lot of times the obsession with academics is because it's something that it's easy to show off to other parents or family members that your kid can say count to 50 or know all their letters but in reality a lot of that stuff memorizization versus actual learning in context. When you force kids to do a lot of academic work in preschool they just get burned out doing the same things each year before it's actually meaningful to them.

My 2 year old daughter is already starting to memorize letters based on just playing with letter magnets in the refrigerator when I'm cleaning up in the kitchen it doesn't mean she actually really understands letter sounds or is ready to read. I would rather send her to a place where she can learn grow and explore and then we can worry about kindergarten Readiness when she's getting ready to actually be in kindergarten

[Anonymous]

I think some good points have been made about the importance of preschool given the path a child will take starting in K and the status of the child's parents. (I don't mean status like SES, I just couldn't think of a better word to use). Public Ks do seem really into sitting and learning and worksheets, which is one of many reasons we chose private for our kids. Because of that, all I want for them to do before K is learn to love school. I want them to play and learn how to interact with other people and listen to their teachers and maybe learn some things along the way. We do a lot of learning at home (shapes, colors, letters, writing, etc.), so I'm not worried about the content that they're getting at school. But I can see how learning certain things before K is helpful if a child isn't learning a lot at home (no judgment about that, just acknowledging reality). I could also see how having a more structured, academic-type preschool could be helpful if the child is going to be attending a K like that. I went to private school my whole life, and as a lawyer now, I'd say that it's not the actual things I learned in school that have helped me in life, but the fact that I learned how to learn (and truly enjoyed it). I would hate for my kids to hate school, or the idea of it, before they even started K, so that's where I think the quality is important - but the quality of what is up to you and what you're looking for.