He doesn't want any intimacy but won't give me an open marriage

[Anonymous]

Divorce

No question

No matter how old the kids

[Anonymous]

Have you been to marriage counseling? This is partly about sex, sure. But when you have one spouse who is completely selfish (and has been for years) it is beyond that. So if you don't want a divorce, get into counseling. Something else is going on more than low drive.

[Anonymous]

1 create a DCUM user name
2 login and repost your complaint on this and the explicit forum
3 wait 15 minutes
4 check your PMs
5 set up a date with your knight in shining armor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1 create a DCUM user name
2 login and repost your complaint on this and the explicit forum
3 wait 15 minutes
4 check your PMs
5 set up a date with your knight in shining armor

+1

[Anonymous]

Have an affair. You have many men who will happily be a FWB.

Men would never wait years, a few months and they are hitting the FWB route.

[Anonymous]

He does not get to vote on an Open Marriage, the same way you did not get to vote on a Sexless Marriage. Tell him you will be going out every Friday from now on for date night to meet your completely normal need for sexual intimacy. If he isn't cool with that, too bad. You aren't cool with a sexless marriage either. If sex is so unimportant that he isn't having any, then he has no right to care if you do that "unimportant thing" with somebody else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He does not get to vote on an Open Marriage, the same way you did not get to vote on a Sexless Marriage. Tell him you will be going out every Friday from now on for date night to meet your completely normal need for sexual intimacy. If he isn't cool with that, too bad. You aren't cool with a sexless marriage either. If sex is so unimportant that he isn't having any, then he has no right to care if you do that "unimportant thing" with somebody else.

I have seen this advice, announcing an open marriage and I think its dumb.

Just get to the sex. Why announce? He already said he won't approve it. So just go have fun. You aren't having sex so no risk of STDs. If he doesn't like the cheating, he can leave. He broke the vows, he can figure out the terms of the divorce.

OP, call me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? How old?

How is this even remotely relevant?

How is it not? If there are kids, you're blowing up their life. If they're teenagers, hold out a couple of years until they are in college. If they're younger, give the situation some serious thought. If you have kids, you have a responsibility to take their needs into account as well.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP, he is not great in all other areas. He is selfish. There are ways to be intimate that don't involve him having an erection. For 5 years (!!!) He has put his own needs and desires over yours. And it doesn't even seem like you're asking him for a whole lot.

In my eyes, that's not a good spoise at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just have a discreet affair.

Bingo. Let HIM file.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP, he is not great in all other areas. He is selfish. There are ways to be intimate that don't involve him having an erection. For 5 years (!!!) He has put his own needs and desires over yours. And it doesn't even seem like you're asking him for a whole lot.

In my eyes, that's not a good spoise at all.

You just described 85% of wives on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

MikeL wrote:PM me.
I'll help you out.

Yuck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP, he is not great in all other areas. He is selfish. There are ways to be intimate that don't involve him having an erection. For 5 years (!!!) He has put his own needs and desires over yours. And it doesn't even seem like you're asking him for a whole lot.

In my eyes, that's not a good spoise at all.

You just described 85% of wives on DCUM.

Pp here. While I think that's an exaggeration, I do think that ANY spouse who is not willing to make compromises (where one is possible) in a marriage is selfish and not.a.good spouse. A low/no libido spouse can find it in them to have sex at least every other week or every 3 weeks. And a high libido spouse can find it in them to masturbate more, not cheat, and not take out the lack of sex on their spouse.

[Anonymous]

Troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:16 years married, he's always been low drive, but ok with once a week. Now, it's zero drive. We have had zero intimacy for the last 4 years (almost 5 years). He won't do anything about it, yet told me that if I go elsewhere it's cheating and he'll divorce me. He's great in all areas except no intimacy. We are roommates. I want a husband, not a roommate.

So divorce him and then go elsewhere. Life is too short, op!