In Laws- first name basis? Mr./Mrs.?

[Anonymous]

I guess we are the odd ones out. We both just called them all Mom and Dad. It gets easier once there are grandchildren because, at least in our family, specialized names develop for each of the grandparents.

[Anonymous]

Most of the time I call them by their first name. Cards I write to Mom and Dad, but that took some years. Now it feels normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She insisted on Mr/Mrs. so basically I called them "hey you"

Lol thanks for the laugh!

[Anonymous]

I call my MIL mom when I need to address her directly. I knew going in to the marriage that that was the expectation in their family, and even though I don't particularly like it or feel comfortable with it, I've only had to do it a handful of times in 14 years of marriage. You'd be amazed how little you have to actually say someone's name when speaking to them. My mom thinks it's very respectful for me to follow my MIL's wishes and is very supportive of me calling her mom, too.

[Anonymous]

First names!

[Anonymous]

Mr. and Mrs Lastname. It's a sign of respect where I come from.

[Anonymous]

I'm from a different culture than DH. In the culture I was raised, it's beyond disrespectful to the point of unthinkable to call your ILs anything other than some form of "mom and dad". I know my ILs want to be called by their first names, but I simply can't bring myself to form the words it's so deeply ingrained in me. It would feel like calling them "a$$h0le" and "b1t**". I simply cannot bring myself to do it.

I basically have avoided addressing them directly for 8 years of marriage now. Crazy, I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She insisted on Mr/Mrs. so basically I called them "hey you"

If mine had insisted, I would have laughed like they were joking and call them Bob and Mary anyway.

My parents are Bob and Mary...

[Anonymous]

grandparent names. any other way is just awkward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First names. I'm old enough that I don't call anyone Mr and Mrs.

This

+1

[Anonymous]

I asked my inlaws what they wanted to be called and they said first names. I would have been fine with mom and dad. Meanwhile my parents wanted my husband to call them mom and dad and he has never been comfortable with it.

[Anonymous]

First names. They're not uptight, and neither are my parents.

[Anonymous]

I called my FIL Mr. So and So until his death. Never met my MIL. She passed right before DH and I started dating. I could have never called him dad because I felt weird. I would never call him by his first name, but I never asked what should I call him. DH surprisingly call my mother mom. He called my father by his last name, no Mr.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mr. and Mrs Lastname. It's a sign of respect where I come from.

Same here (I'm from New York).

Eventually, they asked me to call them by their first names. But I didn't push it, because regardless of whether I think that level of formality is a little strange among family, I was not going to alienate them on something that didn't matter to me. You call people what they want to be called, within reason.

My DH called my parents Mr/Mrs the first time they met him, and they immediately asked that he call them by their first names.

[Anonymous]

My ILs are the same age as my grandparents, and I would never call my grandparents' friends by their first names. So I use Mr/s, as do the other kids-in-law.