Most important educational meeting for my child yet and boss just scheduled mandatory meeting!

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't usually do this at all, but in your case it may be the only way out...Call in Sick that day

[Anonymous]

Tell your boss that you're sorry, but you have an unavoidable conflict in your schedule and won't be able to make the meeting but look forward to hearing about it when you're back in the office.

I mean, WTF, conflicts happen. If you had a surgery scheduled, would your boss really tell you to reschedule it for this stupid meeting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Non issue for me. School meeting trumps work meeting. Boss will get over it.

Pretty much. This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Change the school meeting. For future reference, always take off when you have an important school meeting. Don't risk that your calendar will stay clear.

Another special needs mom. She cannot change the school meeting. There are multiple teachers and administrators whose schedules had to be arranged and it's the end of the school year.

You simply and firmly tell your boss that you will have to miss that meeting, and you are sorry but as he knows you had scheduled this leave far in advance and it is a mandatory ADA and Family Friendly Leave Act protected event you cannot miss. You ask to be casually introduced to the big boss on another day.

If necessary you contact HR.

The school meeting is covered by neither. OP needs to work with her boss to reschedule the work meeting, but don't do it by making false statements.

+1. The boss will not think better of you if you are making up laws that you think protect you. If you are in DC, DC does have a law that allows parents to take a certain number of hours per year protected in order to attend school meetings. If not DC, your local state or city might have something similar. I agree with others that you should probably take it on the chin with the boss -- but be honest. Go in and say it's a major meeting, at which the school superintendent will be present, and if you lose this spot, you won't be able to have the meeting before next year. (If you want, you can call the school first and check, but I think this is probably right.) Tell him or her that you feel badly about it, but it can't be helped, and you would like to do whatever you can to help the boss prepare for the meeting. A decent boss will understand and appreciate that. I think if you go in with mama bear guns blazing, the boss is more likely to be irritated and think that you seem entitled and like you don't care about your job. I think most bosses want to help you make the family life balance thing work, provided that you're generally a good employee that is responsible and seems to care about the job.

[Anonymous]

Here are the steps:

1. Attempt to reschedule school meeting, but I think it won't work if the super is coming, unless super is coming for meetings all day and you can contact another family to switch times with you.

2. If you feel you are on firm ground with boss, tell him or her this is an unmissable health-related meeting that has long been on the calendar and that you already tried to reschedule it.

3. If you feel this will count against you, call in violently sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Change the school meeting. For future reference, always take off when you have an important school meeting. Don't risk that your calendar will stay clear.

Another special needs mom. She cannot change the school meeting. There are multiple teachers and administrators whose schedules had to be arranged and it's the end of the school year.

You simply and firmly tell your boss that you will have to miss that meeting, and you are sorry but as he knows you had scheduled this leave far in advance and it is a mandatory ADA and Family Friendly Leave Act protected event you cannot miss. You ask to be casually introduced to the big boss on another day.

If necessary you contact HR.

The school meeting is covered by neither. OP needs to work with her boss to reschedule the work meeting, but don't do it by making false statements.

+1. The boss will not think better of you if you are making up laws that you think protect you. If you are in DC, DC does have a law that allows parents to take a certain number of hours per year protected in order to attend school meetings. If not DC, your local state or city might have something similar. I agree with others that you should probably take it on the chin with the boss -- but be honest. Go in and say it's a major meeting, at which the school superintendent will be present, and if you lose this spot, you won't be able to have the meeting before next year. (If you want, you can call the school first and check, but I think this is probably right.) Tell him or her that you feel badly about it, but it can't be helped, and you would like to do whatever you can to help the boss prepare for the meeting. A decent boss will understand and appreciate that. I think if you go in with mama bear guns blazing, the boss is more likely to be irritated and think that you seem entitled and like you don't care about your job. I think most bosses want to help you make the family life balance thing work, provided that you're generally a good employee that is responsible and seems to care about the job.

THe above posters are wrong regarding the law and what it protects. I'm a SN mom of an autistic school-aged child and I've invoked the FMLA for the past several years so that I can attend intermittent appointments in relation to my child's "serious chronic health condition." My boss has to let me attend these kinds of meetings, and does.

That said I 1) don't know whether OP's child has SN that are severe enough to enable the FMLA to be invoked, and 2) presume OP has not invoked it.

But FYI that Federal Law absolutely protects parents who need to miss work to care for the serious health conditions of dependent children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Here are the steps:

1. Attempt to reschedule school meeting, but I think it won't work if the super is coming, unless super is coming for meetings all day and you can contact another family to switch times with you.

2. If you feel you are on firm ground with boss, tell him or her this is an unmissable health-related meeting that has long been on the calendar and that you already tried to reschedule it.

3. If you feel this will count against you, call in violently sick.

You can't do 3 if you do 1 and 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Here are the steps:

1. Attempt to reschedule school meeting, but I think it won't work if the super is coming, unless super is coming for meetings all day and you can contact another family to switch times with you.

2. If you feel you are on firm ground with boss, tell him or her this is an unmissable health-related meeting that has long been on the calendar and that you already tried to reschedule it.

3. If you feel this will count against you, call in violently sick.

You can't do 3 if you do 1 and 2.

#2 is the only reasonable option.

OP, next time ask these kind of questions on the SN forum where you'll get better advice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Change the school meeting. For future reference, always take off when you have an important school meeting. Don't risk that your calendar will stay clear.

Another special needs mom. She cannot change the school meeting. There are multiple teachers and administrators whose schedules had to be arranged and it's the end of the school year.

You simply and firmly tell your boss that you will have to miss that meeting, and you are sorry but as he knows you had scheduled this leave far in advance and it is a mandatory ADA and Family Friendly Leave Act protected event you cannot miss. You ask to be casually introduced to the big boss on another day.

If necessary you contact HR.

The school meeting is covered by neither. OP needs to work with her boss to reschedule the work meeting, but don't do it by making false statements.

+1. The boss will not think better of you if you are making up laws that you think protect you. If you are in DC, DC does have a law that allows parents to take a certain number of hours per year protected in order to attend school meetings. If not DC, your local state or city might have something similar. I agree with others that you should probably take it on the chin with the boss -- but be honest. Go in and say it's a major meeting, at which the school superintendent will be present, and if you lose this spot, you won't be able to have the meeting before next year. (If you want, you can call the school first and check, but I think this is probably right.) Tell him or her that you feel badly about it, but it can't be helped, and you would like to do whatever you can to help the boss prepare for the meeting. A decent boss will understand and appreciate that. I think if you go in with mama bear guns blazing, the boss is more likely to be irritated and think that you seem entitled and like you don't care about your job. I think most bosses want to help you make the family life balance thing work, provided that you're generally a good employee that is responsible and seems to care about the job.

THe above posters are wrong regarding the law and what it protects. I'm a SN mom of an autistic school-aged child and I've invoked the FMLA for the past several years so that I can attend intermittent appointments in relation to my child's "serious chronic health condition." My boss has to let me attend these kinds of meetings, and does.

That said I 1) don't know whether OP's child has SN that are severe enough to enable the FMLA to be invoked, and 2) presume OP has not invoked it.

But FYI that Federal Law absolutely protects parents who need to miss work to care for the serious health conditions of dependent children.

No one said that FMLA doesn't cover a parent taking leave to care for a child's serious health condition. We are discussing attending a school meeting -- not a medical appointment.

Post a link to the DOL website that says FMLA leave can be taken for school meetings not related to the military exception.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Change the school meeting. For future reference, always take off when you have an important school meeting. Don't risk that your calendar will stay clear.

Another special needs mom. She cannot change the school meeting. There are multiple teachers and administrators whose schedules had to be arranged and it's the end of the school year.

You simply and firmly tell your boss that you will have to miss that meeting, and you are sorry but as he knows you had scheduled this leave far in advance and it is a mandatory ADA and Family Friendly Leave Act protected event you cannot miss. You ask to be casually introduced to the big boss on another day.

If necessary you contact HR.

The school meeting is covered by neither. OP needs to work with her boss to reschedule the work meeting, but don't do it by making false statements.

+1. The boss will not think better of you if you are making up laws that you think protect you. If you are in DC, DC does have a law that allows parents to take a certain number of hours per year protected in order to attend school meetings. If not DC, your local state or city might have something similar. I agree with others that you should probably take it on the chin with the boss -- but be honest. Go in and say it's a major meeting, at which the school superintendent will be present, and if you lose this spot, you won't be able to have the meeting before next year. (If you want, you can call the school first and check, but I think this is probably right.) Tell him or her that you feel badly about it, but it can't be helped, and you would like to do whatever you can to help the boss prepare for the meeting. A decent boss will understand and appreciate that. I think if you go in with mama bear guns blazing, the boss is more likely to be irritated and think that you seem entitled and like you don't care about your job. I think most bosses want to help you make the family life balance thing work, provided that you're generally a good employee that is responsible and seems to care about the job.

THe above posters are wrong regarding the law and what it protects. I'm a SN mom of an autistic school-aged child and I've invoked the FMLA for the past several years so that I can attend intermittent appointments in relation to my child's "serious chronic health condition." My boss has to let me attend these kinds of meetings, and does.

That said I 1) don't know whether OP's child has SN that are severe enough to enable the FMLA to be invoked, and 2) presume OP has not invoked it.

But FYI that Federal Law absolutely protects parents who need to miss work to care for the serious health conditions of dependent children.

No one said that FMLA doesn't cover a parent taking leave to care for a child's serious health condition. We are discussing attending a school meeting -- not a medical appointment.

Post a link to the DOL website that says FMLA leave can be taken for school meetings not related to the military exception.

[Anonymous]

"Mandatory" isn't always "mandatory". It doesn't sound like you're a key person at the work meeting. I'd explain the situation to your boss. A reasonable manager would be fine with you missing the work event.

[Anonymous]

From the standpoint of someone with no kids but has colleagues who handle these sorts of situations with varying degrees of grace:
1. I really hope you had the time blocked out on your calendar (if you office uses electronic calendars) AND that you had already requested leave for the time in question.
It is extremely annoying to find a time for a group of people to meet and then be told that someone is not actually free and just didn't bother to tell anyone.

In this case, your answer is simple--you are already scheduled, and this meeting would be difficult / impossible to reschedule. Even better if you requested leave far in advance.

2. If you didn't already notify Boss that you'll be out, notify Boss and lay out a strategy for making it work.

3. If you didn't already notify Boss, make it a habit in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From the standpoint of someone with no kids but has colleagues who handle these sorts of situations with varying degrees of grace:
1. I really hope you had the time blocked out on your calendar (if you office uses electronic calendars) AND that you had already requested leave for the time in question.
It is extremely annoying to find a time for a group of people to meet and then be told that someone is not actually free and just didn't bother to tell anyone.

In this case, your answer is simple--you are already scheduled, and this meeting would be difficult / impossible to reschedule. Even better if you requested leave far in advance.

2. If you didn't already notify Boss that you'll be out, notify Boss and lay out a strategy for making it work.

3. If you didn't already notify Boss, make it a habit in the future.

This.
If you're in DC, DC's Parental Leave Act of 1994 has you covered, but only if you gave 10 days notice (if possible). If you didn't give notice, you kind of suck.

[Anonymous]

Don't you have a calendar notice you are required to send out in advance for personal time off, appointments, vacations?? If you already notified your boss in writing regarding your personal meeting schedule before the company meeting invite was sent then you should be fine. If you didn't notify them then you messed up (: i've messed up before too and regretted it. It is best to send a calendar notice the same immediately after you make your personal appointments etc. That said, your kids come first. Do whatever you have to do to attend your child's meeting.

[Anonymous]

DCUM has been blocking my postings because my browser blocks some of its ads, so I've lost two lengthy efforts to respond. So I'll keep this brief.

I routinely invoke the FMLA to attend school IEP mtgs. My employer is a large Federal Agency. Everything is explicit and upfront. Approval to use FMLA for such purposes is outlined in my FMLA authorization package.