Interested in adopting a newborn domestically

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did a domestic adoption and used Adoptions Together. They have Offices in MD and VA.
We said we were open to smoking, some marijuana and possibly methodone because my Doc told me Methodone would show someone us trying to clean themselves up and take care of themselves and the baby.

The total process for us from when we started to when we picked DD up from their Office was 16 months. She was 30 days old. The BM said no drugs or smoking had been used. She is now almost 5 and is happy, friendly and sociable and is ready to start K in the Fall. She can read already and doesnt have any medical or health issues.

I would use an agency OP. We didnt need a lawyer at all. Adoptions Together were super helpful and did everything that needed doing.

Second here for adoptions together. We used them as well for all steps of 2 adoptions. Once our home study was complete, the adoption of our first took just 3 months. There was some In utero exposure. Our daughter took just about 1 year. No prenatal alcohol , smoking or drugs.

There are a lot of things I liked about the agency and we felt supported the whole time and felt that both our childrens birthmothers were supported as well. It's been just over 3 years since the second adoption and wait times may have changed. They have a lot of pre-adoption seminars you can attend to get more answers.

[Anonymous]

OP - Have you talked to a pediatrician about the effects of alcohol and drug use during different stages of pregnancy? That might help you open up your criteria a little more.

And I would agree with PP's that you just won't know in a lot of cases. My dear friend who adopted was assured no drug use but blood tests at birth showed there had been at least some cocaine use. Fortunately her DC is a spunky 2yo now with no apparent ill effects.

PP is also correct about genetic predisposition to mental health issues. Incidence of ADHD is much higher among adoptees than the average population, for instance. You need to be realistic that even if you do find the miracle birth mother who's never used alcohol or drugs, you are not guaranteed a child who doesn't have SN.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - Have you talked to a pediatrician about the effects of alcohol and drug use during different stages of pregnancy? That might help you open up your criteria a little more.

And I would agree with PP's that you just won't know in a lot of cases. My dear friend who adopted was assured no drug use but blood tests at birth showed there had been at least some cocaine use. Fortunately her DC is a spunky 2yo now with no apparent ill effects.

PP is also correct about genetic predisposition to mental health issues. Incidence of ADHD is much higher among adoptees than the average population, for instance. You need to be realistic that even if you do find the miracle birth mother who's never used alcohol or drugs, you are not guaranteed a child who doesn't have SN.

Sometimes things don't show up till later, so at 2, its hard to tell.