Did social skills groups help you child? How long did it take and what did you see?

[Anonymous]

Organizing daily routines for success! I think I need this class. Thank you, PPs. I'm going to call them again and figure out the intake process.

[Anonymous]

Only thing I am worried about is that the kids in the class are more pronounced than my child in executive function needs (in their handicap) -and that my son will feel he is in the wrong class and feel bad about himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only thing I am worried about is that the kids in the class are more pronounced than my child in executive function needs (in their handicap) -and that my son will feel he is in the wrong class and feel bad about himself.

They do a really good job of placing the kids into small groups. In addition to dividing the kids based on age, they also collect information beforehand on ability (test reports, IEPs, and playdate) and then put kids into appropriate small groups (4-5 kids). They did a good job with us. Even in areas where my child's ability is higher than others, that gives him a chance to be a leader, which makes him feel good about himself. And there are other times when he needs more help than others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My older DC is HFA and is currently a sophomore in college. He went weekly to a social skills group from mid 4th grade to 12 grade. He is still it of step with his neurotypical peers, but catching up. He is ahead of his HFA peers. At first, the group was the first place he went where people looked forward to seeing him and he to them as he had alienated his peer group in school. Together they learned some of the social graces. They practiced listening and asking emotional questions (not technical ones). He basically used it - but was "faking it", now he is actually "making it". We scripted coonversationed at home too. Once he got the hang of that, the social skills group was a friendship group and a problem solving group. They would each bring in a situation they experienced and discussed how to react the next time. They had to bring up a positive and a negative thing and they couldn't always bring up the same ting week after week. With HFA, IME- they are always behind a few to more years on the social scene - so there is always something that comes up as they age. This group was helpful throughout that.

In HS, we saw how his work manifested in decent relations at school and in our inclusive congregation's youth group. He felt he found a place where he belonged. Now in college, he has found his tribe in a club that meets every Sat night and with study groups. He is still out of step with neurotypical students, but he is closing that gap and is in a major where he is much closer to the norm. He starts a paid internship today in a field that is close to his major. It pays enough for him to pay his bills this summer and save bit if he is careful. I am really proud of his progress, but its is slow and small steps add up to bigger things over time.

Besides the weekly study group from 4th-12th grade, the things that helped him were orchestra, scouts, and our congregation's RE then youth group. There are congregations all over the faith spectrum that practice and teach inclusiveness. I would encourage a band instrument too- as band in HS is a great place for social activity and bonding. Orchestra doesn't quite get there, but it is still a good option. Theatre is another EC that embraces differences.

The other thing I liked about his social skills group,is that his facilitator did a monthly parent group. At first we learned techniques for helping DC learn social skills, then practice them. THen, she was very helpful when an issue would crop up, offering suggestions and guidance. It was also helpful to talk to other parents while the social skills class was going on. It became of parent support group of sorts.

What does your DC's social skill group facilitator think of his progress? SOmetimes, things that look like regression to us are really a sign that they have moved up to the next level and need to learn different tactics. If you think it just isn'tworking for him, try another group.

NP here. Thank you for this. I have a 13 year old with asperger's, who had not yet had any kind of intervention. I feel like I'm late to the game, but he has always done so well (excellent student, no executive function issues.) It's only recently that we pursued diagnosis, because with middle school, somehow the social issues suddenly seem more problematic. I have been hesitant about social groups, because he cannot talk about himself or his feelings and I wonder if it will just be a bad experience. But you give me hope!

[Anonymous]

Social skills group only helps so far. DS (ADHD-inattentive) knows what he's supposed to do but in the heat of the moment, can't think fast enough to implement the skills he learned. He yells or cries instead because those emotions surface easily for him. Its not until he calms down that he think that he should have done this or that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Social skills group only helps so far. DS (ADHD-inattentive) knows what he's supposed to do but in the heat of the moment, can't think fast enough to implement the skills he learned. He yells or cries instead because those emotions surface easily for him. Its not until he calms down that he think that he should have done this or that.

A technique we used for that was for him to practice stepping back and closing his eyes ( sometimes counting backwards from10) when he was in the heat of the moment. We had him practice it when things were calm. We went from telling him what to do to using a code word. At first it was us catching him right before a fit, but then he learned how to recognize things before they got to far and implemented the tactic. Now, he just steps back and goes quiet. It took years to get there.

[Anonymous]

PP with the calming technique, that is amazing! Good for you all. I need to do this for my DS. Did you put rewards in place for this? How did you get you son on board to work on this technique?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP with the calming technique, that is amazing! Good for you all. I need to do this for my DS. Did you put rewards in place for this? How did you get you son on board to work on this technique?

No rewards, he was on board because he didn't like the long fits either and wanted to learn how to not get so aroused. The closing of the eyes is important because it shuts off the stimuli.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP with the calming technique, that is amazing! Good for you all. I need to do this for my DS. Did you put rewards in place for this? How did you get you son on board to work on this technique?

No rewards, he was on board because he didn't like the long fits either and wanted to learn how to not get so aroused. The closing of the eyes is important because it shuts off the stimuli.

We did praise him when he did it, even if it meant a tantrum that was less severe. Praising more than correcting is hard to do, but his social skills facilitator was adamant that they needed to hear more positive things than constructive criticism.

[Anonymous]

Regarding Unstuck - when is an appropriate age to start? Either as part of a formal group or independently at home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Social skills group only helps so far. DS (ADHD-inattentive) knows what he's supposed to do but in the heat of the moment, can't think fast enough to implement the skills he learned. He yells or cries instead because those emotions surface easily for him. Its not until he calms down that he think that he should have done this or that.

A technique we used for that was for him to practice stepping back and closing his eyes ( sometimes counting backwards from10) when he was in the heat of the moment. We had him practice it when things were calm. We went from telling him what to do to using a code word. At first it was us catching him right before a fit, but then he learned how to recognize things before they got to far and implemented the tactic. Now, he just steps back and goes quiet. It took years to get there.

Thank you for posting this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Regarding Unstuck - when is an appropriate age to start? Either as part of a formal group or independently at home?

I think they accept kids as young as 7. My child is 10 and is in the "older kids" time slot.

[Anonymous]

We've found social skills groups very helpful but we have only used the ones provided by DS's school through his IEP. DS, 9, has Asperger's diagnosed at 4 yo and gets social skills/pragmatics with the SLP, lunch bunch and meets with the school counselor using mostly Superflex but some Unstuck and On Target.

I will say he is much better emotionally regulated and can "talk" about his feelings better than I could at his age and the credit goes to the social skills supports he gets at school. He gets along well with his classmates, has friends at school, fully mainstreamed and out of school through sports and his hobby. He plays sports and chess and we like the fact that he displays good sportsmanship and is a gracious winner and loser.