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Expectant and Postpartum Moms
Any low-to-moderate income families having mom/dad staying at home with baby?
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Anonymous
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I'm curious to know how those of you who SAH scaled back. DH makes $175K, I make $75K. He doesn't think we can do it on his salary alone. I know we can. The problem is, he wants to be able to fly whenever he wants (for trips) and to buy whatever electronics he wants (iPhones, gadgets, etc.) when he wants and to go out to lunch daily. We have some student loan debt and a mortgage, but I'm confident we could manage well.
So I guess my question is, how did you get your spouse comfortable with scaling back? My DH doesn't want to change his lifestyle. |
Anonymous
| I make $45K per year and my husband is in school and works part time. We've been seriously considering him staying home because childcare costs are almost equal to his salary, but if we can find affordable childcare, I don't think we'll do it. Just too hard. |
Anonymous
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My friend did it and her DH makes 85k. However the 2nd child broke them. Their house was just foreclosed on and they now live in her moms basement.
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Anonymous
| This thread is absolutely fascinating to me...my husband and I have worked in the arts and non-profits for so long, the idea that we would break 100k combined per year is like winning the lotto! I guess we're lucky because we have each had some very very lean years in very expensive cities but are used to that, so the idea of scaling back isn't foreign to us. I'm positive we could figure out a way for one of us to stay home with the baby if the other made 80k or more, we could probably even figure it out at 65/70. |
Anonymous
| I make 85k and DH stays home with the baby. I'm a fed so we have some security. We are in a small TH in MoCo: An excellent school district so we don't have to worry about childcare or private schools. We choose to spend money on organic food, Direct TV's football package, and books. Other than that, we don't buy much. We're doing fine. |
Anonymous
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SAHMs with household incomes less than 100K and with mortages----where do you live? Are you all in DC or live in the suburbs. The reason I ask is because we are looking to downsize from our pricey$$ mortaged home in DC to somewhere else with lower mortage etc... just to make it easier for me to become a SAHM.
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Anonymous
In a townhouse in Fairfax. It was a place we can actually afford. But we bought it after we got married several years ago. The location is decent too - DH commutes to DC and pre-baby I commuted to Bethesda. |
Anonymous
Prince George's County. |
Anonymous
That's a really tough one. I think it would be very hard to convince someone to scale back. They'd need to first be on board with the lifestyle for other reasons. |
Anonymous
That is a tough one. I am not SAH (8 weeks pg with first child) but when we found out we were expecting, I ran some numbers to see if staying at home would be a financial possibility. I discovered that if we made major cuts, we could afford it, though it would be tight. In our case, it is me who has to scale back more than my DH, and I decided that the opportunity to be there full time to raise my little one was important enough to me to make those sacrifices. We are already cutting back a lot to see how it works out. Anyway - have you tried putting together a spreadsheet of your joint monthly expenses? That might open DH's eyes a bit. I did that and quite honestly was shocked and appalled at how much we were spending on some things. It has really made me think twice before any new expense. Good luck! |
Anonymous
Thanks. Ironically enough, DH is the one that handles the finances - he (and I) knows full well what he's spending at Starbucks, the Apple Store, etc., monthy, annually. I think it stems from a tough childhood and he feels like he wants to take advantage of being financially comfortable. It's a value thing, I think. He values that more than he does me staying home with our child. It sounds horrible, doesn't it? I also think he truly believes that our child is doing so well in daycare, that I simply could not accomplish the same (the kid is 3 now). So frustrating... |
Anonymous
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We've been struggling with this too. We have a very comfortable combined income of $110K, but we are on pretty equal footing, wage-wise. Diving down to $60K would be really tough, perhaps not even possible with our mortgage. But that was, in effect, the decision we made when we bought a house instead of continuing to rent. Then again, if we have to pay for full-time childcare, it will eat up most of my net pay anyway.
Frustrating, isn't it? For the PP whose husband doesn't want to change his lifestyle...I think I would be pretty concerned if my partner weren't amenable to changing his lifestyle for the safe of a baby. Parenthood means a radical shift for most people. Is it just eating out/electronics/etc.? Is he prepared for loss of sleep/personal time/self-focus? |
Anonymous
Marry someone else. |
Anonymous
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wow. this post is really eye opening. the thought of not being able to do it on $175k alone is crazy. Seriously. Unless you are in G-Town and have a crazy mortgage, what the heck are you all spending your money on?
We are expecting our first, have a combined income of $69,000 and are considering splitting the SAH duties as our work schedules will allow with a work from home or p/t option. Just our mortgage and utilities average close to $2,000/month. We don't have cable. or a car. There is no bugaboo stroller in our future. We DO live in DC (petworth, thanks), and I would feel absolutely spoiled to have $100k/year to work with. |
Anonymous
| 16:00 you are my hero. We're a combined $63 and it's so good to know you do that!!! I have been worried about what the deal is because I feel like so many families in the district are making so much more. It gives me hope! I would love to chat with you and hear everything! |