Anxiety 5 year old - what worked best for you?

[Anonymous]

You mention that your summer is structured -- this is good. My child with bad anxiety really acts out when there is any routine change. So ending a school year, starting one camp, ending a camp starting another camp, where are her friends?? Oh my, summers are just a ball of anxiety here. We try to give her as much control as we can over things, but sometimes she can't make a decision and we need to. And then there's the anxiety about which teacher she'll get next year and who will be in her class. It goes on....(She's 8 now.)

ITA about the OT side of things, even if it just helps your child find an outlet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here -
Thank you all for your input! I saw therapist today and we are ramping up - leaving DC once a week and adding us once a week too. We are also going to do an OT evaluation and this summer we have very structured (and a social skills group starting too)

To the therapist above, every therapist I have seen says that anxiety in kids splits 50/50 between what you described (shyness etc) and what I described behavioral. Basically, flight or fight.

B/f you get an OT evaluation, have you actually seen a developmental pediatrician yet? Yes, sometimes anxiety presents alone, but other times, it's a symptom of something else.

It's been 3 months, so it could be temporary and more related to a growth spurt. However anxiety can be part of ADHD and many kids with ASD also have anxiety. Outbursts in the classroom could be due to frustration if there's an untreated learning disability.

If the outbursts occur more often at home, I would consider behavioral therapy b/c it helps strengthen your parenting skills at the same time. Kennedy Krieger offers this at its outpatient clinic in Columbia, MD. If outbursts happen at school primarily, I would consider a social skills group.

IMO, a 5 year old is too young to get much out of CBT. Also, someone mention medication. You can't medicate child without a full evaluation of some kind. If you decide to see a developmental pediatrician, get on a wait list at KKI and Children's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our 5 yr old is struggling w anxiety - it looks like anger mixed w outbursts etc. great kid and it came on pretty suddenly 3 mos ago (though dc has always been an intense kid).
We have dc working w a therapist - doesn't feel like one hour a week is enough - and so far no progress is really being made. I'm sure summer will help to lower stress, but for the first time ever we are getting reports from school about behavior issues so it seems to be getting worse not better. School seems to really ramp up the stress level but not sure pulling dc out w 2 mos to go would do much (pre K)

Thanks!

At 5 years old--- CBT helped. At 8 prozac helped more. At 12- no meds or therapy needed. Very well adjusted and insightful kid who knows how to cope thanks to both of these things we did.

Your post actually made me tear up and gives me such wonderful hope -

Thanks to all other posters - we did a very basic screen for ADHD and no signs of it (dc has always been excellent at things like circle time, completing work etc). Will keep eye out for learning disabilities - dc is extremely gifted and quirky and has lots of friends so there could easily be something like a learning disability cropping up.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like us, when our child was in K. It was awful!

I took her to a counselor--she was treated for anxiety. (No medication)

Two pediatricians said it was anxiety (yes, one was a developmental pediatrician).

Two other 'professionals' -- including the psychologist--said it was anxiety.

We switched schools...and also:

It wasn't until we took her to OT in grade 2 that we learned she has sensory and developmental issues. And a full neuropsych came up with high IQ and some ADHD/ADD issues as well.

And No Anxiety!

School causes her 'some' anxious moments--but either changing environments helped clear the anxiety, or she never had it.

I so, so so wish we'd had a full OT exam in K.It wasn't even recommended.
OT and Pediatricians and psychologists don't always work together. I don't feel pediatricians know a lot about OT.

So find the right OT--you said you're getting your child tested this summer--and get tested and stick with the OT if it's a good fit.

Good luck. You're so smart to recognize what's going on...don't put your child on medication until you get the full evaluation...anxiety can be a mask for other issues.

[Anonymous]

Oh, I just read your post on a basic screen for ADD/ADHD. We did that too--but it wasn't until the full neuropsych that the ADD showed up.

Don't rule out a full neuropsych.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At that age, we did the once per week therapy separately for parents and child. I also reduced EVERYTHING stressful that wasn't school. We tried to have an extremely calm predictable routine. We also did at various points: OT (two years), Karate, yoga, and more. I honestly think that the therapy--especially parent coaching-- and the simplification of our lives is the only thing that made a difference at that point.

At a slightly older age, we did have to medicate (Prozac) and it was life-changing. He was on medication for about two years and then able to be off and handle life/use strategies from therapy.

In the long run (child is 12), the most important things we have done are: 1) finding right school environment 2) patiently and positively building child's strength at favorite sport so he derives real satisfaction and confidence from it and 3) working with excellent therapist.

What sort of work did you do with the therapist (both you and the child)?

Child did play therapy. They worked on emotional regulation, handling challenges/losing, developing an emotional vocabulary, flexibility, to name just a few things. At first, the most obvious benefit was that the therapist got to know him very well. Every child is different and I am not trying to say that mine is more different than others but it was a huge help that her advice and comments were very specifically about our child, not generic at all. Eventually the benefits of therapy were obvious in other ways, too. My son is much more aware and articulate about his emotions than most boys his age, for example. He was able to take a deep breath, settle himself, find a happy place. It took a while, though.

For us, the benefits were immediate and very powerful. For starters, I immediately felt so supported and reassured, after feeling absolutely lost in this journey. I knew things weren't working but I never knew when to be tough and when to back off--like trying to figure out the strategy for war games. Therapist gave us strategies and a plan--and it really worked. Obviously it didn't "cure" my child--he is who he is!--but we were so much better able to manage his anxiety, prepare him, help him become more independent. Our quality of life improved tremendously. It all takes time, and there are so many ups and downs, but this therapist was worth every penny.

Just want to add, in response to some later posts, that when my child was old enough to have a neuropsych done he was diagnosed with "severe" ADHD. (He didn't lose anxiety diagnosis, like another PP's child, they are both considered "primary" diagnoses.) I just mention this because the preliminary screens were worthless. His teachers never suspected attention issues AT ALL. Now that he's older, it is so much more obvious that the diagnosis is right. He has so many classic executive function challenges. And, furthermore, the neuropsych done at age 6 totally missed that he has a language based learning difference. The kid loves to read, so again, it wasn't until a much older age that certain issues became apparent. That said, they were obviously always there and contributing to his anxiety. But when a child is bright, has a supportive home environment, intellectual interests, good teachers, or any combination of these... well, the nature of the challenges may take a while to become apparent.

And to continue with the encouragement, I want to say that my son is a great, well-rounded, and nice kid at age 12, with lots of friends and success in sports and school. In the right school setting, he knows he is bright and has a lot of confidence in his abilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At that age, we did the once per week therapy separately for parents and child. I also reduced EVERYTHING stressful that wasn't school. We tried to have an extremely calm predictable routine. We also did at various points: OT (two years), Karate, yoga, and more. I honestly think that the therapy--especially parent coaching-- and the simplification of our lives is the only thing that made a difference at that point.

At a slightly older age, we did have to medicate (Prozac) and it was life-changing. He was on medication for about two years and then able to be off and handle life/use strategies from therapy.

In the long run (child is 12), the most important things we have done are: 1) finding right school environment 2) patiently and positively building child's strength at favorite sport so he derives real satisfaction and confidence from it and 3) working with excellent therapist.

What sort of work did you do with the therapist (both you and the child)?

Child did play therapy. They worked on emotional regulation, handling challenges/losing, developing an emotional vocabulary, flexibility, to name just a few things. At first, the most obvious benefit was that the therapist got to know him very well. Every child is different and I am not trying to say that mine is more different than others but it was a huge help that her advice and comments were very specifically about our child, not generic at all. Eventually the benefits of therapy were obvious in other ways, too. My son is much more aware and articulate about his emotions than most boys his age, for example. He was able to take a deep breath, settle himself, find a happy place. It took a while, though.

For us, the benefits were immediate and very powerful. For starters, I immediately felt so supported and reassured, after feeling absolutely lost in this journey. I knew things weren't working but I never knew when to be tough and when to back off--like trying to figure out the strategy for war games. Therapist gave us strategies and a plan--and it really worked. Obviously it didn't "cure" my child--he is who he is!--but we were so much better able to manage his anxiety, prepare him, help him become more independent. Our quality of life improved tremendously. It all takes time, and there are so many ups and downs, but this therapist was worth every penny.

Just want to add, in response to some later posts, that when my child was old enough to have a neuropsych done he was diagnosed with "severe" ADHD. (He didn't lose anxiety diagnosis, like another PP's child, they are both considered "primary" diagnoses.) I just mention this because the preliminary screens were worthless. His teachers never suspected attention issues AT ALL. Now that he's older, it is so much more obvious that the diagnosis is right. He has so many classic executive function challenges. And, furthermore, the neuropsych done at age 6 totally missed that he has a language based learning difference. The kid loves to read, so again, it wasn't until a much older age that certain issues became apparent. That said, they were obviously always there and contributing to his anxiety. But when a child is bright, has a supportive home environment, intellectual interests, good teachers, or any combination of these... well, the nature of the challenges may take a while to become apparent.

And to continue with the encouragement, I want to say that my son is a great, well-rounded, and nice kid at age 12, with lots of friends and success in sports and school. In the right school setting, he knows he is bright and has a lot of confidence in his abilities.

Thank you, this was very helpful!