Birthday party RSVPs

[Anonymous]

You really don't need a fixed headcount a week out. Heck, it isn't a wedding. We just did a party at bowlero and one parent RSVP'd day of~! No big deal. They rolled with it without skipping a beat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone knows as far in advance of availability as you. Not everyone wants to explain conflicts which you seem fine with. Not everyone gets the invitations - evicted go to spam, kids don't bring them home, etc. This is one of those posts from someone who thinks they are great and those of us whose schedules are less predictable don't live up to your standards.

No, I just really wanted to know the reasons--and I guess I was hoping the reasons would give me some ability to guess as to how many will come. We invited 9 kids to my Kindergartener's birthday party and ONE has RSVP'd. Evite shows me that everyone has viewed it. While the RSVP deadline is not until Saturday, for a party the following Saturday, I'd really like to know more than a week out that SOME kids are coming. I guess I am just a little paranoid that only one kid will show! My kid is shy and does not make friends easily. He is my oldest and in our preschool, everyone RSVP'd quickly and turnout was always high.

Reasons I've waited to RSVP:

1) Not sure of our plans that weekend
2) Not sure who you are and need to check with DD who your kid is
3) Need to talk to DD's dad since it's his weekend
4) You said the deadline for RSVPing isn't until next Saturday, so I figure that I have the time between when you sent the invite and when the deadline is to decide whether we'll be able to make it or not.

[Anonymous]

I have a spouse with a significant medication condition that makes our lives unstable. I am the only driver in the household for 4 of us. Both of us have have promotions that means slightly more work commitments. I also work a second job that is a long-term commitment for me (I've been involved with this organization for 30+ years. I currently work part-time, about 8-10 weekends a year and one night per week, but it will likely become more full-time after I retire from my day job. We don't know too far in advance when one of us will have to work, when my spouse will be laid up medically, or various other commitments come up. We put everything on the calendar and we RSVP 1-4 days before each RSVP date if we can commit to it.

I'm sorry that I can't always tell if I'm going to have to work late 3 days this week or 1 day and if I have to do the family shopping on Saturday instead of Friday night after the kids go to bed. I can't tell if I'm going to need to get the kids out of the house for the day or if that day will be the only day that we can run a family errand. If I have to go to Annapolis on Saturday to handle something that our family needs, then the kids have to stay home with the other parent or go with me. As the sole driver, I don't have the luxury of being able to trade off driving kids to A & B. If I have to go somewhere, then I am not available to drive my kids to that party. It's hard enough for us to get our schedule fixed 7-10 days in advance of each weekend, but we do that so that we make each RSVP deadline.

If you need or expect a response earlier than a week in advance, then we'll just decline as we don't need that added stress in our lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are a late RSVPer, why is that? When I get an invite, I check my calendar and respond accordingly--almost always within a day or two of receiving this invitation. If it is a close friend of one of the kids, and we have a conflict, I will respond with a maybe, state that we have a conflict, and we will see if we can resolve it somehow. For those who wait until the last minute, are they waiting to see who else is going? Whether something better comes up?

Sometimes there is a lack of clarity in scheduling--friends or family who "might" visit that day, DH sometimes has short-notice work travel making it difficult to plan too far ahead etc. Occasionally the birthday child and my DC might have an iffy relationship, and I prefer to wait until closer to the event to see how it's going. So long as it's before the RSVP deadline, what difference does it make?

You're not that important to me or my kid so I forgot until evite reminded me.

Just being honest. I'm not a late responder to the people I know and like, since I prioritize going to their parties.

[Anonymous]

Is it possible to invite more kids, just in case? I usually get the majority of responses fairly quickly, but there are always a handful who wait till the RSVP deadline or even later. I wonder if there is another party, sport or town event that may be conflicting with your date or time. I have had to reschedule a summer bday party before because we only got a handful of yes's. It felt like the end of the world at the time but the rescheduled party ended up being super fun too, so don't stress even for the very unlikely chance that will happen to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean by late? I always RSVP by a week before the party. If someone sends me an invite a month before a party, I'm busy with my job, volunteering, kids activities. I don't always respond immediately. I don't know at that point whether DH will be traveling for work and whether I can transport one of the kids to the party while getting the other to sports practice etc.

Not knowing a month ahead is one thing. Saying you're too busy to respond is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, sometimes I see the invite, mean to respond after I check our calendar and then it gets lost in my inbox for a week because I get a ton of email. This is rare, and I'm usually good about it, but occasionally I forget. If I am replying "yes" late in the game, I'll apologize and say, "I totally understand if it's too late to include us." The parents have always been nice.

We've had plenty of late RSVP's and non-RSVP's in our 8 years of throwing parties, and I really don't care either way. (we've also had people say yes and then no-show and not respond but show up. sh*t happens.)

[Anonymous]

Honestly, sometimes I just forget. I get the invite, and think "Fun, I'll have to look at the schedule and make sure he's free." And then... sometimes I forget to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are a late RSVPer, why is that? When I get an invite, I check my calendar and respond accordingly--almost always within a day or two of receiving this invitation. If it is a close friend of one of the kids, and we have a conflict, I will respond with a maybe, state that we have a conflict, and we will see if we can resolve it somehow. For those who wait until the last minute, are they waiting to see who else is going? Whether something better comes up?

Sometimes there is a lack of clarity in scheduling--friends or family who "might" visit that day, DH sometimes has short-notice work travel making it difficult to plan too far ahead etc. Occasionally the birthday child and my DC might have an iffy relationship, and I prefer to wait until closer to the event to see how it's going. So long as it's before the RSVP deadline, what difference does it make?

You're not that important to me or my kid so I forgot until evite reminded me.

Just being honest. I'm not a late responder to the people I know and like, since I prioritize going to their parties.

+1

[Anonymous]

I am not a late RSVPer, but I have been throwing bday parties for my kids for over a decade now. People are busy, they have jobs, they have nannies/babysitters/grandma/girlfriends receiving invitations handed out at school, they have multiple children, multiple jobs, blended/multiple households, travel sports, last minute guests, last minute work commitments, house renovations, etc. etc. Unless your child is one of their child's BFF, your kid's birthday generally isn't on the forefront of their minds.

[Anonymous]

Whatever. I have sent out invites for my kid's birthday, and I am fed up. Just reply no. One family opened devote and then ignored request for rsvp. The other I emailed directly when saw they didn't open just in case. Nada. I guess I should not be surprised that these parents also ignore requests for preschool holiday parties. One time I had already signed up for plates and then saw no one else had said they were bringing food. I did a quick before school run. My older kid's class was never this uninvolved.

[Anonymous]

If I am free I do respond yes right away.
If I don't, it's usually bc there's something else going on that may also happen that day and am not ready to commit.
95% of the time I respond right away. But with older kid's activities and one car, sometimes need to figure stuff out.

[Anonymous]

Same as PP. Usually I respond yes or no right away. If it takes me a while to respond it's because I'm desperately trying to rearrange things to make it work and I'm probably waiting for another person to respond about the rescheduling. DC sometimes has therapy appointments on weekends, for instance, and they may have us on a wait list for a switch or I may have a family thing and have asked everyone if they can move the dates but not everyone has replied.

[Anonymous]

I always wait to talk to my kid so never respond right away (invite is for kid - I don't make assumptions even if best friend). After I talk to the kid, and check the calendar, I sometimes just forget to go back and reply until I get the evite prompt.

[Anonymous]

I view it, ask my child if they want to go, check with DH to see if he will be out of town and if we need to arrange carpooling, check all my kids' sports schedules for that weekend. Evites usually come in while I'm working and sometimes I forget to do all of these things for a while. Sending them late at night is best for me so I see it when I first wake up.