Restricting access to teacher during dropoff
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Anonymous
| OP here. Thanks everyone for the reality check. I usually drop off close to the cutoff time so I dont usually see many of the parents whose children are already there and the policy is not written in their handbook so I just didnt notice. I do notice now. DS seems happy so I guess I am overreacting. I'll back off. Thanks again. |
jjconcern
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After reading all of the other responses to your post it seems the majority of the opinion was that the school had been very accommodating to your need to make sure that your 3 yr old transitioned well into their new pre-school and that the teacher's time in the morning needed to be spent in supervising and observing the children within their classroom rather than chatting with parents. They were very aware of your needs and sound like a considerate staff.
It is natural for a parent to have difficulty giving up the control of their children to another person when they are young. You mentioned that you enter the classroom to place your child's items in their cubby which makes me wonder if this is another sign of difficulty in relinquishing your child to another. Is the child expected to place his belongings (which they are perfectly capable at 3 if the pack isn't too heavy or needs to be placed too high) or does the teacher take the child's belongings? Either way it isn't your job to do so. As a recovering "control" person that would be something I would do. I remember attending a Mom and ME class when my child was 2 at a local community college. The first thing the teacher taught the parents was to let the child bring his things in, get out their own colors/paper, lay out their blanket to nap on, etc. Basically to train us parents to give our children the chance to control their own environment when they were developmentally able to do so. It was a great lesson for me as I was always trying to do everything for my child- which is controlling! In the end it is more loving to let them develop independency skills on their own. I hope this helps. |
Anonymous
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What are you worried about?
That you kid had the sniffles this weekend and you're worried he might get sick so call if he gets a fever? Tell the aide to relay the message or hand him/her a 2-sentence note to give the teacher. That you're picking the kid up early? Same thing. That this is your kid's first day back from an illness and you need to give a report or ask for specific monitoring? Put it in a letter/note and ask teacher to call you at break/lunch. That you want to tell the teacher that DS got in trouble this morning for hitting mommy and may be teary about being yelled at? That he decided over the weekend that he hates pears now? That you enjoyed seeing last week's art project because it was so cute! --These can all wait until pick-up. Look at it this way: if you're asking for 2 minutes of teacher's time each morning, and every other kid's parent is as well, that's upwards of half an hour the teacher isn't paying attention to YOUR kid. You don't want that, the other parents don't want that, the school doesn't want it. This is why this is the rule. |
Anonymous
| That would be a red flag for me, unless you were trying to talk with teacher or your child was having separation problems. Schools need to be open for parents to observe. I worked (decades ago) at one where the staffing was far less than advertised (or required by law) and parents were encouraged to "drop off." |
Anonymous
| I would not have chosen a pre-school that restricted my bringing my children into the class each day. The school we sent ours to was set up for this and it was a lovely start to each day. It was just a common courtesy that you wouldn't monopolize the teacher's attention as they would greet eash new arrival but we all used this time to share any new/alerts/concerns, etc and also to inform of playdates, what ever. My DS went through a stage of not wanting to let me go but teacher and I worked out a routine and I would leave as soon as I got him to door but that was a short exception. I don't think you are overreacting and I would question why there is the rule in first place |
Anonymous
I agree. If the teacher does not have the classroom set up so that she has time to say hello to parents at drop off, then there's an issue there. Is this a montessori? One of the (many) reasons I did not chose montessori was their drop off policy. |
Anonymous
It does not follow that there is an "issue" with this set-up. This procedure makes sense if a school has very limited parking available and needs parents in and out quickly, or places an emphasis on fostering independence...or any number of reasons that the administration would probably be forthcoming about. |
Anonymous
| Our preschool allows classroom drop offs, but they also have multiple other methods for communicating with the teacher so you don't take up too much time -- including classroom notebooks, email the director to set up meetings, etc... -- why don't you check to see what other communication methods are available to you before freaking out? |
Anonymous
| Don't get all freaked out and make it hard on your kid on Monday. |
Anonymous
| OP, I have heard of this type of policy.. seems more common in Montessori schools? I don't like it either, and would not choose a school that has that type of policy. At our school, we are allowed drop off at the classroom, and to talk to the teachers. |
Anonymous
Most parents walk their kid into the classroom at my son's school. It's not chaotic or problematic. Most just help their kids get their things put away, and say goodbye. Sometimes there are a few parents who need to talk to the teacher. The assistant teacher is there too. It goes quite smoothly. It's not like there's a line of parents waiting to talk to the teacher every morning. Op, I wouldn't like dropping off a 3 year old at the foyer either. |
Anonymous
| I have multiple children, and this has been the policy at two preschools. I don't think it is sketchy. I think it's about creating a certain atmosphere for the kids, and helping them to transition from home to school. It's common in Montessori, but we also had it at another kind of preschool. Don't worry about this- it will be helpful for your child and easier for you once you get used to it! |
Anonymous
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Preschool teacher here :
I want a good relationship with my students' parents. I like chatting them up to know more about the child's environment at home and to build a sense of community. I ask for parent volunteers all the time. It is so important for parents to understand what their child goes through at preschool. What I don't like : -parents lingering at drop off and pick up (more than a couple of minutes); -parents who drop off late and linger on top of it. |
Anonymous
| I worked in a daycare and parents dropped off and chatted for a brief time. Did you ever see other parents dropping off? If you are dropping off at unusual time, it might be disruptive and cause the teacher not to be able to manage all the kids and you and all your small talk. |
Anonymous
Yes, you are a distraction, OP. Control yourself and follow the rules without making a big stink about it. |