inappropriate discipline at daycare

[Anonymous]

What kind of chair did she "buckle" him into? It seems from people's reactions that they are envisioning shackles or something. I know when my son was in the toddler room, he had some brief periods of biting and general bad behavior. At that age, kids can't really stay in one spot for a time out, especially if they are in a tantrum, so I remember they would put him into a highchair for time out. I didn't have a problem with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If that's the type of discipline she tells you about using, imagine the type she doesn't tell you about. As a previous daycare worker, I knew teachers who used to pinch the kids under their arms bc if it left a mark the parents were unlikely to find it AND it would be hard to explain and so no one would expect a teacher.

Oh my God. That is HORRIBLE. No wonder parents don't want to leave their kids with us.

I remember a recent discussion somewhere on here where a parent said they prefer center base care instead of in home because there are more eyes and not likely for anything to happen. I think this just proved them wrong, that it Can and Does happen in centers. Sadly, There is no 100% foolproof childcare out there, unless you are prepared to stay home and take care of your own children.

[Anonymous]

I agree with everyone that the discipline is inappropriate. But your kid hit others, like 3 times? Kids like that are a pain to be around and get avoided at playgroups and don't get playdates.

So, schedule playdates with your kid with others so you can see the behavior firsthand. If he hits another kid, then put him in time out and keep taking him back if he comes out. If that doesn't work, then take one of his toys for a day. Read "1-2-3 Magic", it's a great discipline book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with everyone that the discipline is inappropriate. But your kid hit others, like 3 times? Kids like that are a pain to be around and get avoided at playgroups and don't get playdates.

So, schedule playdates with your kid with others so you can see the behavior firsthand. If he hits another kid, then put him in time out and keep taking him back if he comes out. If that doesn't work, then take one of his toys for a day. Read "1-2-3 Magic", it's a great discipline book.

That is what a lot of this comes down to. Discipline. While I dont agree with buckling him in a car seat or other restraint as such. if in a high chair or playpen for the recommended number of minutes, per state/county guidelines (1 minute per year age ie 2yo = 2 minutes, 3yo = 3 minutes, etc) I dont see anything wrong with it. PP is right, a child who continually hits and is mean is not a pleasant child to be around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If that's the type of discipline she tells you about using, imagine the type she doesn't tell you about. As a previous daycare worker, I knew teachers who used to pinch the kids under their arms bc if it left a mark the parents were unlikely to find it AND it would be hard to explain and so no one would expect a teacher.

Oh my God. That is HORRIBLE. No wonder parents don't want to leave their kids with us.

I remember a recent discussion somewhere on here where a parent said they prefer center base care instead of in home because there are more eyes and not likely for anything to happen. I think this just proved them wrong, that it Can and Does happen in centers. Sadly, There is no 100% foolproof childcare out there, unless you are prepared to stay home and take care of your own children.

That was probably me. But I never said bad things don't happen at day care centers. I still feel, however, they are much less likely.

You are right, though. There is no 100% foolproof childcare out there. Even if you care for them yourself, bad things can happen. We all just do the best we can.

[Anonymous]

At least she's not teaching him how to bump and grind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with everyone that the discipline is inappropriate. But your kid hit others, like 3 times? Kids like that are a pain to be around and get avoided at playgroups and don't get playdates.

So, schedule playdates with your kid with others so you can see the behavior firsthand. If he hits another kid, then put him in time out and keep taking him back if he comes out. If that doesn't work, then take one of his toys for a day. Read "1-2-3 Magic", it's a great discipline book.

That is what a lot of this comes down to. Discipline. While I dont agree with buckling him in a car seat or other restraint as such. if in a high chair or playpen for the recommended number of minutes, per state/county guidelines (1 minute per year age ie 2yo = 2 minutes, 3yo = 3 minutes, etc) I dont see anything wrong with it. PP is right, a child who continually hits and is mean is not a pleasant child to be around.

I agree with these posters - I think you need to investigate the fact that your child is being aggressive more closely. You say that at home, when he behaves badly and you put him in timeouts, he won't stay? What are the teachers supposed to do when they have other children they need to look after also? It is their job to make sure other kids are safe.

I do believe this teacher behaved wrongly if she constrained him - but if your child is acting like this every day, something needs to be done on your end too.

[Anonymous]

well, it's good to know that so many other people have 2 year-olds who never hit, but it's actually part of a developmental phase. You know...the temper tantrum, throw yourself on the floor, pissed because you want lots of things but can't have them/do them? Yeah, that's where 2 year-olds hitting come from. Day care teachers should have better ways of dealing with this than saying a child was "bad". If this was a 5 year old= yes, problem. 2 year old children have differing abilities to control their impulses - some have no ability, and that's normal.
Teachers are not supposed to put a child in isolation for "time-out". They should be redirecting and looking to see what's causing the aggression - to few toys? Not enough variety? Hungry/tired child?
Telling the parents they need to do something is beside the point - the teachers should have better problem solving abilities. And yes, I know this because I am one of these teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If that's the type of discipline she tells you about using, imagine the type she doesn't tell you about. As a previous daycare worker, I knew teachers who used to pinch the kids under their arms bc if it left a mark the parents were unlikely to find it AND it would be hard to explain and so no one would expect a teacher.

Oh my God. That is HORRIBLE. No wonder parents don't want to leave their kids with us.

I remember a recent discussion somewhere on here where a parent said they prefer center base care instead of in home because there are more eyes and not likely for anything to happen. I think this just proved them wrong, that it Can and Does happen in centers. Sadly, There is no 100% foolproof childcare out there, unless you are prepared to stay home and take care of your own children.

I actually prefer in-home daycares (several staff) to centers because the livlihood of the owners depend on quality care. The workers at a center can just quit in a minute and go work somewhere else. But sadly, nothing guarentees you good care.

[Anonymous]

I cannot imagine using restraints, but could it have been a highchair or a type of chair that the child was really buckled in for safety (as in, he was trying to get down, could have fallen and gotten hurt). I still don't support it (why not use a low chair for time outs. ), but it seems less evil.

[Anonymous]

As I tell prospective parents who come meet me. I use distraction first prior to any time outs. The poster who said isolating the child is not allowed is correct, we are not allowed to isolate the child from the rest of the kids. Just as we are not allowed to tell them they are bad, or any other comments as such. It is demeaning, and really it doesnt get anywhere.

If a particular toy generates issues, I take the toy away. If it is a matter of I had it first and another child walks up and tries to grab the toy, I direct that child to another activity and once he is busy with it, he has forgotten the prior altercation. Rarely do I ever need to use a time out, which is basically sitting in a chair, in my view, no buckles, shakles, etc, for the same number of minutes as their age. A 2yo will sit for 2 minutes, 3yo for 3, etc. This is something the county will teach in their training on disciplining the toddlers and preschoolers.

I have never used playpens for anything other than sleeping. It irks me to see a child in a playpen, you see this kid following you with their eyes everywhere you go, caged up like an animal. Just isnt right. I dont use highchairs either. Part reason because I dont have the space for multiple high chairs. Rather I use the seats strapped to my chairs, or a child size table. The kids like having it for their activities and meal time. something their size.

I used to know someone who did daycare a long time ago that just didnt want to deal with one of the kids in care because he got into everything. So she would put him up in a highchair and leave him there, for hours. It was really sad. I called the county on her, but sadly they never could catch her doing it. She finally did away with her daycare and the world is a better place because of it. I have seen another provider allow her teen daughter to have control over the kids, to the point where she had left the house one evening for somewhere she had to be and her daughter, to discipline one of the kids, placed him in a room and held the door shut so he couldnt get out. Luckily an older sibling went home, told the dad, and all hell broke loose. He went into the county office, and disrupted a meeting they were in the middle of, demanding action. The provider lost her state license and to this day some 10 years later still doesnt do childcare. I have seen other horrors in daycares, and have called the county on situations to bring it to their attention. This is what makes it hard for the honest caregivers out there who continue to hang in there providing the best care they do.

[Anonymous]

People are being a bit hard on this kid. Maybe he was having a hard day like not getting a good nap or didn't eat much for lunch. It's possible that there were those sort of issues. It would have been nice if the worker could have gone into that. I don't believe in TO's for 2 year olds, and he isn't a bad kid. Like many have said, this is normal behavior for 2 year olds.

[Anonymous]

2 year old developmental phase. Simple and straightforward. He will grow out of it with appropriate discipline. You don't need a shrink or Mom's with perfect children to tell you that you are parenting all wrong either. DC will be just fine. The daycare worker was 100% out of line.