If you got to say one last thing to your deceased parent?

[Anonymous]

I miss you.

[Anonymous]

Mom, I miss you so much! I cannot imagine never seeing you again.

You were the best mom in the entire world! Growing up, you made it look effortless. Once I became an adult, you became my best friend. How do I live without both my mom and my best friend? I feel adrift. I want to pick up the phone to call you many times throughout the day. You were the one who helped me through the difficult times in my life. There is just no substitute for you. I ask myself what advice you would give me. How did you survive losing your mom?

I wish you hadn't worried so much about being a burden in the last months. I wanted to take care of you. I just wish you hadn't felt the need to be so strong. I know you had to be frightened but you never admitted it. I lay awake at night thinking about how terrified you must have been and my heart breaks.

Your grandkids talk about you every time they get together. They love you and miss you, but a part of you lives on through them. You were there to see each of them draw their first breath and you were a constant source of love and support as they grew. Thank goodness they knew you and felt your love!

I'm sorry I couldn't save you. You always nursed me back to health when I was sick, but I couldn't do the same for you. I feel guilty that in the end I prayed to god to let you go.

I love you. I miss you. I'm sorry.

[Anonymous]

Both my parents lived until their 90's but both suffered dementia their last few years. But I had the luxury of sitting with them near the end and I remember "thinking not saying" thank you for all they had done for me and that I am what I am because of them. When my mom died I wrote her a letter thanking her and included pictures of my wife and kids. I put it next to her in her casket. Other than the birth of my first daughter I don't recall ever crying until that moment.

[Anonymous]

I sat with my Dad when he died. He was in our dining room, in the Hospice bed where he had been for 15 months. We knew he was going to die that day because he had had a final stroke and could not eat and it was day 3. On that day it rained. I put on the Sirius XM 40s station in the morning. Glenn Miller was playing when he died and that made me so happy because he loved him so much. When the time came all I said to him was I love you Daddy. As crazy as it sounds I didn't want to say too much because I didn't want him to think I knew he was going to die. My mom was so distraught she was cleaning the house because my sisters were on the way and cleaning was how she coped. I'm glad I had that last quiet moment with him.

[Anonymous]

Your family was not a complete disaster. Yes, it was bad, but we all siblings prefer to be among the living.
Signed a survivor of severe mental abuse.

[Anonymous]

The anniversary of my mom's death was yesterday. I am reading these posts and sobbing. Thank-you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sat with my Dad when he died. He was in our dining room, in the Hospice bed where he had been for 15 months. We knew he was going to die that day because he had had a final stroke and could not eat and it was day 3. On that day it rained. I put on the Sirius XM 40s station in the morning. Glenn Miller was playing when he died and that made me so happy because he loved him so much. When the time came all I said to him was I love you Daddy. As crazy as it sounds I didn't want to say too much because I didn't want him to think I knew he was going to die. My mom was so distraught she was cleaning the house because my sisters were on the way and cleaning was how she coped. I'm glad I had that last quiet moment with him.

I have a feeling he heard you......and Glenn.

[Anonymous]

I'd tell my parents that I aspire to have a marriage like theirs and that I will do my best to never disappoint them. And I'd tell them that they would be incredibly proud of their grandchildren and that I so wish they could hug their five little great grand children.

[Anonymous]

I would tell my Dad that it is okay and to not be frightened. He was very frightened, knowing he would die. He was always afraid of dying- his whole life, actually. He slipped into a morphine induced sleep at the hospice and died about 20 minutes after I left for the day, completely unexpected for that day. We were told it would be weeks, maybe. I was shocked. He was not alone, though...he was with my sister...so grateful for that. I would have told him that I loved him, and I did love him, although we had a strained relationship. It was hard to be around each other, but I believe both of my parents believed they were doing their best. I wish I could have all those days back, and tell them what they needed to know from me. They did not accept a lot about me, and I was quietly angry for most of my adult life, although we were always together and I did take care of them when they were sick. We were not estranged. I did not go back to the hospice when she called, because I did not want to see him dead. I'm sorry about that, too. I was told not to come back, that he would be moved but the time I got there, but, in fact, it was 3 hours. I should have gone.

[Anonymous]

Why did you choose my loser older brother to be executor of your estate? The consequences......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your family was not a complete disaster. Yes, it was bad, but we all siblings prefer to be among the living.
Signed a survivor of severe mental abuse.

I am lucky and made peace with my dad before he passed. That said, it is hard for me to listen to my siblings say what a great dad he was. It's almost as if they wiped out the 30 years of abusive parenting and replaced it with the few years of good once we were grown and on our own.
All I would say is "I love you."

[Anonymous]

I love you and I'm sorry.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a really terrible situation and had a horrible relationship with my parents because of it. We couldn't stand each other. I finally forgave them when I recently had kids of my own. I'm glad it wasn't too late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love you beyond measure, and you were wonderful to me. When I couldn't walk, you carried me, when I couldn't stand, you held me up, and when I was lying hopeless on the ground, you lied next to me and held me. Everything about me that is brave and kind and strong, I learned from you by example. I will go on without you, because that is my gift to you.

Nailed it. I miss my dad so much.

[Anonymous]

Ooof! I have a millon things I want to say!

Thank you, dad! I love you and miss you so much. You treated me, your only and most favorite daughter, like the most special and precious human being and raised me with the human right that are denied to daughters, sisters, mothers, wives all around the world.

You treated everyone with infinite love and dignity and all the wonderful choices I have made in life - in selecting a spouse, in doing charity work, in my education, how I raise my kids - happened because of the standards you set and the self esteem you gave me.

You were my best friend and the most fun-loving person. The life of the party and the best storyteller. I thought that you were special because you were my dad, but now I realize that you were special because you were the most generous and pure-hearted human being.

As a husband you loved, respected and cared for mom in a way that my brothers learned how to treat their wives, and I learned what to expect in a husband.

Dad, you are hands down the most romantic man on Earth - even my sister-in-laws agree. Thank you for treating your daughter in laws and son in law like your own children. Thank you for doing the "politically incorrect" thing of buying chocolate bars for your grandkids - even though we all had to pay to get their cavities filled. You were beloved of all the grandkids.

You were the most romantic husband and our home was filled with flowers for mom that you got. I remember every morning you kissed her as you left for work. I laugh now thinking how every morning I also use to stand up on a stool near the door so that I could be tall enough like mom and you could kiss me on my cheek on your way to office.

I miss you dad.