First date with a widower I met online

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:10 years is a long time. Insensitive is, on the first date, demanding way too many details of the wife's death, and that actually has happened.

But at 5 years, I visited my wife's grave on the anniversary of her death, then went biking with a friend, then attended a neighbor's cookout, then went on a dinner date. I didn't discuss my wife with people who had never met her. Life goes on.

Did you have kids together?

Yes, a fantastic daughter in college.

Good. It no doubt wasn't easy for either of you.

Sounds like he didn't care much for the dead wife.

Not necessarily, and it's wrong of you to assume that.

OP, I married a widower about 15 years ago, and this has never been an issue. We never talked about it, because there was no need to, I guess. I'm not curious, so it seems irrelevant. They didn't have children, she didn't have much family, so there was little out there to remind him about her. We moved from the area where she was buried (for unrelated reasons).

You literally never talked about it? That seems odd, because I would imagine living through a spouse's death would be hugely impactful. But men are good at compartmentalizing.