Preschool drop offs and pick ups

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The teachers don't want you to stay and chit chat. It's distracting to the kids. They might say nice haircut, how was your weekend to my child, but that's it.

+1

+1. I am a day care teacher and I really don't like it when parents stay and chitchat. it's not that I don't like talking to the parents but it's that I have so much to do and it takes up time. Imagine a room full of kids and multiply that by 10 minutes each time a parent want to chat. It's a lot!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good morning
How was your night
What are your plans for the weekend
Wow, it's really rainy today
Etc.

We usually talk for 10 mins. or so, as I'm the first one there. Small talk.

10 minutes? Wow. My conversation is usually very brief general pleasantries unless I or the teacher have something specific to discuss. Otherwise, I need to get to work and am not looking to chat.

Eh, you have to know your school. I'm a former preschool teacher & director and an early childhood researcher, and I specifically chose a school that has a lot of family involvement and an open door policy. I spend 10-30 minutes at drop off because I sometimes get involved in an activity, get sidetracked chatting with the director, have some type of volunteer work I'm doing / coordinating, etc. I always plan for a leisurely drop off.

I do a lot oif observations in preschool rooms, and I will say that in most public/charters, and, at the other end of the spectrum, in the "we have a valet for drop off" schools, there's a very "meet at the door and say goodbye quickly" vibe. There is also typically less physical warmth and affection (back pats, hugs, lap sitting) in those classrooms, and more focus on academics.

I wanted a more homey, tender, less academic setting for my LO, where I would be part of the daily life in the classroom. YMMV, as evidenced by the range of responses in this thread.

FWIW, I wouldn't put this in the same category as spending 10-30 minutes talking with a teacher at dropoff--I'm the PP who said I rarely say much at all at dropoff. But I do sometimes talk to the director or assistant director for a while (though not usually in my children's classrooms), or if I'm helping with an activity, might stay for 20-30 minutes. There are certainly other parents who do that as well, or who come in mid-day to join the class for a special circle or what-have-you. But it's not an individual conversation with the teacher about my child--for anything longer than a few minutes there, teachers schedule meetings or call/email in the evening. In the mornings, they have class activities they need to facilitate or prep for, and in the evenings, unless they're one of the closing teachers, they want to go home (or have to go pick up their own kids!) The directors, in contrast, are usually just floating between rooms unless there's something specific that needs attention, and usually happy to chat for a while.

[Anonymous]

My kid's teachers rarely say much at all. They are focused on the kids and getting them in the door and making them feel comfortable. It's pretty much limited to, "Good morning! Good morning, Larlo!" and maybe sometimes, "Oh, I see that your little brother really wants to come into the classroom today, Larlo. He wants to be just like you!"

At pickup, they don't say anything but goodbye. Longer conversations are had on the phone or via email. Occasionally they'll say something like, "Here's the X that Larlo made today. He worked really hard on it!"

Once I had a teacher who taught a specialized class (like art or music) at the school specifically compliment my kid when she saw us walking into the school, but that only happened once and was very unusual for my overall experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good morning
How was your night
What are your plans for the weekend
Wow, it's really rainy today
Etc.

We usually talk for 10 mins. or so, as I'm the first one there. Small talk.

10 minutes? Wow. My conversation is usually very brief general pleasantries unless I or the teacher have something specific to discuss. Otherwise, I need to get to work and am not looking to chat.

Eh, you have to know your school. I'm a former preschool teacher & director and an early childhood researcher, and I specifically chose a school that has a lot of family involvement and an open door policy. I spend 10-30 minutes at drop off because I sometimes get involved in an activity, get sidetracked chatting with the director, have some type of volunteer work I'm doing / coordinating, etc. I always plan for a leisurely drop off.

I do a lot oif observations in preschool rooms, and I will say that in most public/charters, and, at the other end of the spectrum, in the "we have a valet for drop off" schools, there's a very "meet at the door and say goodbye quickly" vibe. There is also typically less physical warmth and affection (back pats, hugs, lap sitting) in those classrooms, and more focus on academics.

I wanted a more homey, tender, less academic setting for my LO, where I would be part of the daily life in the classroom. YMMV, as evidenced by the range of responses in this thread.

I find this to be really untrue. My kid has been in two different schools, and in both cases, the staff was extremely friendly and welcoming but simply busy and focused on the kids during drop-off and pick-up. The kids do best in most cases when there is a clear break. Having parents hang out in the classroom is annoying for everyone and makes it hard for kids to say goodbye. Even if your kid is fine, another kid might not be and might be struggling with why his friend's mom is there and his isn't (even though perhaps it's been decided by the teacher and the parent that it's best for that other kid to have a brief and simple good-bye).

My school has specific times set up for parents to be involved. There's a weekly time when all parents are invited for an all-school assembly, and parents are invited to come into the classroom to read a book and bring a snack a few times during the year. Teachers are very warm with all the kids, and there's a lot of hugging and lap-sitting, etc. Parents volunteer with things around the school but generally don't help in their kid's classroom except during specific and rare times.

I'm surprised that a former teacher would have the impressions you do. Preschool teachers should be focused on the kids, not on the adults, and it's best not to discuss kid's issues in front of them. I always feel welcome but also respect the teachers and their jobs, as well as my kid and the other kids there. You can have time with your kid at home -- this is not the time for that.

[Anonymous]

Typically just a good morning, how are you in the AM and a have a good night in the PM. Sometimes DH or I will ask how my daughter's day was and if she did ok, but I only do that sometimes. Sometimes I have a specific question that I will ask (like one time I was wondering how much my DD eats because she is always hangry when we get home) and they will spend a little more time (like 2-3 minutes) answering that. They're busy with the kids though so I don't want to waste their time!