Reading at 3, should I encourage or discourage?

[Anonymous]

OP -- tell your husband that even if you do not do anything to encourage your chid to be an early reader, he obviously has the ability to be one. And he is in a Montessori school, where early reading instruction is part of the curriculum. So there's really not much you can or can't do to hold your child back. EVen if you did NOTHING and removed your child from Montessori, your kid would pick up reading the first month of kindergarten. SO if he's going to be bored, he'll be bored no matter what you do.

[Anonymous]

I really think that whether you're bored or not is primarily a function of personality (or coping skills) rather than of intellect. Thus far, it certainly sounds as if your son is not prone to boredom -- he's a choose your own adventure kind of kid. But, he's also currently in school and home environments that allow individuals to do their own thing. So the challenge is to help him develop strategies for doing his own thing (or staying engaged) in environments that involve larger groups moving at a slower pace or covering ground he's already traveled. (And, hey, those are strategies he'll be able to use his whole life!!)

[Anonymous]

I'd love to know what those strategies are b/c in many classrooms, they don't allow the kids to do much of anything except more work or reading if they fly through their own too easy work.

[Anonymous]

I'd love to know what those strategies are b/c in many classrooms, they don't allow the kids to do much of anything except more work or reading if they fly through their own too easy work.

This was pretty much exactly our DD's experience. After she read all the books in the classroom, the teacher started allowing her to go to the library each day to get a new book. And when she eventually mentioned to me about having read all the books (and the teacher never mentioned any of this) I started putting a chapter book in her backpack to make sure she had something to read.

I do agree that a lot of it is personality. Some kids will happily sit and twiddle or find something quiet to do. My DD needs more explicit re-direction to a task or activity but once engaged is fine.

A direct quote from her to me in the car the other day. "I'm excited to be in third grade GT next year. Maybe then I'll get harder work and that will keep me busy so I don't get in trouble. Because when I finish my work too fast, I get bored and bother other kids and then I get yelled at." She's 7. How much life skill is she supposed to have developed at this point?

[Anonymous]

I definitely agree with the poster who said don't push but facilitate.
Definitely do not discourage! And do not worry about school - public versus private - not all the private schools will accommodate an early reader anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd love to know what those strategies are b/c in many classrooms, they don't allow the kids to do much of anything except more work or reading if they fly through their own too easy work.

Reading covers a lot of ground -- BYOBooks. (IRL, I'm never anywhere without a book or two. My DC is even worse). And if "more work" isn't a pre-determined pile of worksheets, how about logic puzzles (free online or sudoku or kakuro or crosswords) or writing (stories, song lyrics, notes on something you're trying to figure out)? If the default is the pile of worksheets, what about proposing an alternative?

I guess what I encountered were situations in which the teacher's goal was for me to be non-disruptive (which meant quiet/still/working alone) and if I had ways of achieving that goal without adding to the teacher's workload -- i.e. providing my own materials or proposing a way to make a project more interesting rather than asking the teacher to find something more or better for me to do -- I pretty much got what I asked for. As I got older, the requests got bigger, LOL, but by then I had a track record of trustworthiness (didn't neglect the easy stuff, didn't get in trouble when I was off doing my own thing)

In early grades, I had a few teachers whose approach was to ask me to work with kid who was struggling with material I found easy. That was a very positive experience. Being able to do it yourself and being able to explain how to do it are two different things (and in ways that make sense to a person who thinks differently than you do) and it's great to be pushed to that higher level of understanding. And I got to know kids I might never have known otherwise.

My bottom line is always have little projects you're working on/things you're thinking about. Always have a book and some writing materials at hand in case you find yourself at loose ends. As a parent, I think that my approach has been to encourage and provision such efforts on my DC's part and also to give her a sense that it's her job to find what interests and engages and challenges her. While she appreciates the freedom she has when she's not in school, she generally likes school.

[Anonymous]

22:30 here -

Maybe I am naive about public schools having a plan in place to accommodate early readers but if they had the resources to accommodate me and a handful of other children who could read in kindergarten 30 years ago I don't know why everyone assumes they are unable to do it today.

If you're really worried about it you should talk to the principal and/or kindergarten teachers at the school your child would attend and find out how they currently meet the needs of advanced readers. Ask for names of parents/families who are in this situation and ask them if they are satisfied. If they aren't, then maybe start looking around for private schools or alternative programs that would work better for your child. I know you say you can't afford private but maybe if you deemed that the best option they could work with you on financing.

[Anonymous]

Maybe I am naive about public schools having a plan in place to accommodate early readers but if they had the resources to accommodate me and a handful of other children who could read in kindergarten 30 years ago I don't know why everyone assumes they are unable to do it today.

I'm not making assumptions, I'm talking about my DD's actual experiences. But there are significant differences today vs. 30 years ago. One of those is IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act). This is essentially the special education law that requires schools to provide an appropriate education for all students with disabilities (the 504 plans and IEPs we hear about). Which is a great thing, however this law does not come with funding. So schools are now being asked to provide classes/aides/accommodations that they did not have to before without any additional funds.

The other thing that is different is NCLB, which ties school funding to test scores. Again, given the lack of additional resources and in a time of shrinking budgets (FCPS has a $10+M shortfall for next year), guess where resources and time get allocated? To kids who are struggling and below grade level.

The better (sometime the more experienced, but not always) teachers know how to provide more advanced students with alternatives, challenge work, etc. But many, especially new and young teachers, don't have that experience yet. Of the teachers my DD has had for grades K-2 in FCPS, they had a combined total years of teaching experience less than 5. They were sweet, well-inentioned and earnest, but still learning their jobs. Her first grade teacher did not even realize that she was a fluent reader until I pointed out to her that the books DD was getting for homework were way below her level. And her second grade teacher sent her home with the EXACT SAME books she got for homework in first grade. Her response? There are only so many pre-made book packets in the reading resource room, so too bad, she and the other who read that book last year get to read it again and do the EXACT SAME HOMEWORK again.

This has been the most frustrating aspect of school for our family. My DD likes school and I do think she learns things there, but I don't think she has ever been challenged there at all. Yes, I can send in chapter books for her to read and I could send in other things too. But oddly enough, I think it's the school's job to do some of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think the issue for my DH is that we can not really afford private school at this point, which leaves us with our local public school. DS is in a montessori preschool in the am, but we are financially looking forward to being able to send him the a public K, as we have one younger child and have been in discussions about possibly having a third. And my DH doesn't want DS to end up a "problem student" with behavioral issues due to boredom. DH obviously wants DS to enjoy learning, but thought it would be best to encourage him in something else like science, like finding interesting books about animals to read to him, instead of letting him read to us at night.

#1 Get yourself over to HoagiesGifted.org and start learning all you can about giftedness.
#2 Let him read! Let him read as much as he wants, at whatever level he can, on whatever topic he finds interesting.
#3 One educational option you don't mention is homeschooling. Give it some serious thought, because many schools, public or private, are just not interested in meeting the needs of gifted kids. Too many have the attitude of "they all even out by third grade" or "every child in our school is gifted" or "we need to focus on the kids who really need it...the others will do fine regardless." Take a look at the book Creative Homeschooling: A Resource Guide for Smart Families (http://www.amazon.com/Creative-Home-Schooling-Resource-Families/dp/0910707480)

[Anonymous]

Woah. No wonder your hubs is worried: look at all the scary responses to your query!

I think that your son has found something he's good at and enjoys. No need to slow him down. Tackle "the problem of school" if it arises -- and it may not!

[Anonymous]

Rabid PP here. It does seem that most people with advanced readers don't seem to have any issues with school. It bothers *me* in particular because it has created issues for my DD. Others I know in this position seem to have more compliant, easy going kids and so it isn't such an issue for them. If your kid tends to roll with things and is generally easy going, it's probably not going to be an issue. But if not, then it can be very much an issue. I also just remember being so mind numbingly bored in school so much of the time, and I would really love for that not to happen with her.

[Anonymous]

I'd say my DC is more resourceful than "compliant" or "easy-going."

[Anonymous]

8:52 (cont'd)

Then again, assuming "rabid PP" is the PP who talked about the novice teachers and two years of the same preprinted packets, my DC has had a very different school environment that what she describes. So maybe it's not personality so much as context that explains how kids respond.

[Anonymous]

So maybe it's not personality so much as context that explains how kids respond.

Rabid PP here (and yes my DD was the one with the novice teachers and same work in grades 1 and 2). I think it's both. Kids are all different, so some kids do well in any given environment and some don't. Just as one teacher can be a great fit for one kid and not for another kid. Most people at our school LOVE it and think it's the greatest thing since sliced bread. But for my kid it's been a difficult time.

The context does make a great deal of difference. There is a huge range of what is available in terms of resources to teachers in large districts. The principal has a great deal of say in the curriculum and types of resources. The issues faced by any given school (% ESOL, overcrowding, etc.) affect their ability to meet the needs of some students.

So as I said, I agree that schools SHOULD be able to meet the needs of the advanced learner, in reality many, many schools don't/can't/won't because of the resources (be that experience, financial or manpower) available to them.