First Choice Letter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I can't imagine lying about first choice. If you get in to both, it would be very obvious you lied when you turn down one of them.

What does it matter at that point? You can burn the bridge since you got the spot you actually wanted.

Not a great choice if you have a younger child who may apply. Also, it hurts the school you're leaving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We haven't written a first choice letter even though I have a clear preference. I feel it's a little too ass-kissy for me. And a total turn off to me if the schools use this sort of stuff to influence who they accept. I don't really want to be surrounded by parents who take that approach to be honest. Seems disingenuous to me since, for all the school knows, the parents have written this letter to every school that is hard to get a spot in.

Then you don't know how it works.

First choice letters are not ass-kissy. They are a statement of fact - if you offer us enrollment, we will be there. The schools care about things like this and they will hold you to your word.

Parents with any sense do not write letters like this all over town. If you're coming from any decent K-8 or K-6, they won't let you, because they care about their reputation too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I can't imagine lying about first choice. If you get in to both, it would be very obvious you lied when you turn down one of them.

What does it matter at that point? You can burn the bridge since you got the spot you actually wanted.

You really don't get it, do you?

You think the schools are on YOUR side? Ha. And you think they don't talk.

But you go ahead PP. Go ahead and write a first choice letter to every school on your list. Then report back and tell us what happens.

[Anonymous]

You could write a first choice letter to multiple schools but it would really hurt DC's current school and their relationship with those additional schools. I guarantee you'd hear from your current school and they'd be none too happy.

I wouldn't want to live with that kind of guilt and karma can be a b**tch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We haven't written a first choice letter even though I have a clear preference. I feel it's a little too ass-kissy for me. And a total turn off to me if the schools use this sort of stuff to influence who they accept. I don't really want to be surrounded by parents who take that approach to be honest. Seems disingenuous to me since, for all the school knows, the parents have written this letter to every school that is hard to get a spot in.

Then you don't know how it works.

First choice letters are not ass-kissy. They are a statement of fact - if you offer us enrollment, we will be there. The schools care about things like this and they will hold you to your word.

Parents with any sense do not write letters like this all over town. If you're coming from any decent K-8 or K-6, they won't let you, because they care about their reputation too.

Yes, this. When you interview for a job, don't you write them a thank you note and tell them that you actually want the job? This is how the game is played. Not saying your child won't get in anywhere but a first choice letter is an important component to an admissions packet IF it is your first choice. I seriously recommend you write one and fast. Admissions decisions will be made very shortly and if your child is wait listed, you will kick yourself for not submitting one. Sending a letter after the wait list comes out saying, "You are our first choice" can't really do much if the WL doesn't move.

[Anonymous]

We wrote one and DC got in. My advice would be that the letter be personalized enough to not sound like a generic 1st choice letter you are sending around. Have your child reflect on what it is about the school that makes it a first choice and that they express that in the letter.

[Anonymous]

OP here - so do people think that First Choice letters would actually help at Sidwell Friends or NCS/STA or is the yield ratio at these schools high enough for them not to be swayed by such a letter?

[Anonymous]

Sorry for the slight derail OP, but I'd like to know if such letters have any meaningful value add when applying for PK or K?

Without knowing anything, my instinct says no. Simply because it'd be hard to convey any meaningful preference on the applicant/child's part, and it becomes more about the parents expressing their choice (and query whether the schools really care about that as much compared to considering a much older child's first choice).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry for the slight derail OP, but I'd like to know if such letters have any meaningful value add when applying for PK or K?

Without knowing anything, my instinct says no. Simply because it'd be hard to convey any meaningful preference on the applicant/child's part, and it becomes more about the parents expressing their choice (and query whether the schools really care about that as much compared to considering a much older child's first choice).

We did one for Pre-K and my DC was accepted to that school. I don't know whether it made a difference or not. I have heard over the course of the year my DC had an awesome playdate. DC's WPPSI was strong and I have no reason to believe her teacher recommendation was not strong. In the end, I do not believe we lost anything by doing one. Many of the kids admitted parents did not do one at all. Some of them did not even send thank you notes.

On the hand, the schools that DC was WL at I do wonder if a "1st choice" letter would have turned that WL decision into an admit...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - so do people think that First Choice letters would actually help at Sidwell Friends or NCS/STA or is the yield ratio at these schools high enough for them not to be swayed by such a letter?

Here is the thing, I do not think it can hurt. It takes a few minutes out of your day to write it and send it. When it is all said and done, you will at least feel good that you have done all that you can to submit a strong application. No regrets. So I say write the letter.

[Anonymous]

Does the letter need to be separately sent? We mentioned in our Parent essays that it was our first choice and then repeated that in our thank you email after the play date. Is that enough?

[pbraverman]

PP: No. There is always a risk of appearing over-eager; if you've told them twice that's sufficient. However, if your child is wait listed, you should reiterate it.

First choice letters can help if they're sincere, because it's to a school's advantage to fill fewer slots. If a school has 25 slots for ninth grade and is nearly certain they'll yield 10 admits, that means their calculations for yield are based on 15 slots, not 25, which should decrease the margin of error by 40% (theoretically, anyway).

Schools that compete for applicants do not talk about their applicants during the process. There was a thread on this a few weeks ago — among other concerns it could be an antitrust violation and they're all too busy to be gossiping at this time of year.

Telling multiple schools they're your first choice: In a practical sense, you might decide later to change schools and you can be pretty well assured that the schools where you reneged on your promise will not view it favorably. In addition, if your child is at an independent school now, the person who coordinates placement will probably know you don't have three #1 choices, and that could expose a loose allegiance to the truth when he or she advocates for your child.

Regardless of the "enforcement," I'd think people would be decent enough not to be intentionally dishonest. That kind of thing has a habit of catching up with you and it does not serve children well. It's a long four, seven, thirteen years. Truism: Parents who behave poorly (see: Dishonesty, intentional) are more likely to have children who behave poorly. Corollary: Parents who behave poorly are more likely to blame their children's poor behavior on the school.

Peter
_____________________

Disclaimer: The anonymity here makes me uncomfortable; it's easy to be uninformed, personal, or simply mean-spirited if people don't identify themselves. For that reason, I have an account so you know whose words you're reading. I have more than 20 years' experience as a teacher and administrator in independent schools, and I have counseled hundreds of students in finding their next schools. I hope I can be helpful to some folks. If you don't like something I've said, you're in good company — there's a long line of past students and parents ahead of you. If you want to chat further, please feel free to contact me offline: peter <at> arcpd <dot> com

[Anonymous]

Peter, 14:13 here: Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Nope. Don't do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry for the slight derail OP, but I'd like to know if such letters have any meaningful value add when applying for PK or K?

Without knowing anything, my instinct says no. Simply because it'd be hard to convey any meaningful preference on the applicant/child's part, and it becomes more about the parents expressing their choice (and query whether the schools really care about that as much compared to considering a much older child's first choice).

Are you in the business of giving bad advice?!?!?

The school wants to know if they can count on your student (aka your money). I would argue that it means even more coming from the parent of a younger child because they call the shots 100%, whereas a rising 9th grader may change his/her mind after a first choice letter is sent.