Beach trip with teen friends

[Anonymous]

Hell no.

Drinking, drugs and sex aside, whose house or hotel are they staying in?

They are not legally allowed to rent their own hotel.rooms or cabin.

Why woukd ypu want to take the likely risk that they will trash someone else's property?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny story. I had a friend in high school whose parents let him and his buddies go to a beach house for the weekend.

Of course, they were all drunk and some were trying pot within a few hours. One of the guys thought it would be a good idea to order a pizza. He didn't have the phone number for a local pizzeria, so he thought he would dial 411 (yeah, I'm dating myself). Well, in his stupor, he accidentally dialed 911 on himself. He hung up quickly, but the cops still showed up and took a hard line on all of it. The boys were hauled into court, were sentenced to community service, the parents had to come out of pocket for lawyers, and the kids ended up with records.

Bottom line is that, while I believe that some parents can predict the behavior of their own responsible child, it is very hard to know what someone else's kid might do. It is also hard to imagine the little ways in which something might go wrong.

I think doing something like this is probably even worse than letting kids drink in your basement (and I wouldn't do that).

Funny story. I had a friend in high school whose parents let him and his buddies go to a beach house for the weekend.

Of course, they enjoyed the sand and the waves. They stayed up late, watched some funny movies and at too much pizza. The boys had an overall great time!

Bottom line is that, you can't make a decision based on one story. Some parents can predict the behavior of their own responsible child. It is also hard to imagine the way some parents infantilize their teens and then are surprised they do not grow up.

[Anonymous]

No way. This is one of those things where kids insist that other kids' parents all let them do it, but I don't know a single parent who does.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't let my 16 year old go, partly because I'd be worried about what would go on but mainly because of the the possible legal ramifications. Where would the kids be staying? Whose owns or rents the place? Too many issues for a high schooler in my opinion. When they are 18 and in college that is a different situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny story. I had a friend in high school whose parents let him and his buddies go to a beach house for the weekend.

Of course, they were all drunk and some were trying pot within a few hours. One of the guys thought it would be a good idea to order a pizza. He didn't have the phone number for a local pizzeria, so he thought he would dial 411 (yeah, I'm dating myself). Well, in his stupor, he accidentally dialed 911 on himself. He hung up quickly, but the cops still showed up and took a hard line on all of it. The boys were hauled into court, were sentenced to community service, the parents had to come out of pocket for lawyers, and the kids ended up with records.

Bottom line is that, while I believe that some parents can predict the behavior of their own responsible child, it is very hard to know what someone else's kid might do. It is also hard to imagine the little ways in which something might go wrong.

I think doing something like this is probably even worse than letting kids drink in your basement (and I wouldn't do that).

Funny story. I had a friend in high school whose parents let him and his buddies go to a beach house for the weekend.

Of course, they enjoyed the sand and the waves. They stayed up late, watched some funny movies and at too much pizza. The boys had an overall great time!

Bottom line is that, you can't make a decision based on one story. Some parents can predict the behavior of their own responsible child. It is also hard to imagine the way some parents infantilize their teens and then are surprised they do not grow up.

Oh please. On what planet are a bunch of teenage boys going to the beach to watch movie and eat pizza? You know damn well they will drink and hook up with girls. Good god.

[Anonymous]

OP here. They want to stay in a hotel. Presumably the 18 yr old can rent a hotel room.

I posted because I said no way, and DS said I'm the only parent who doesn't allow things like this. I know that's not true, and figured DCUM moms might back me up a little. I know for a fact that that his friends do drink, so it's definitely a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. They want to stay in a hotel. Presumably the 18 yr old can rent a hotel room.

I posted because I said no way, and DS said I'm the only parent who doesn't allow things like this. I know that's not true, and figured DCUM moms might back me up a little. I know for a fact that that his friends do drink, so it's definitely a bad idea.

Not so sure about that. Some places have a 21 or 25 rule. They should definitely check in advance.

Also, they will need a credit card in their name.

[Anonymous]

Sex and alcohol, drugs is you are lucky.

[Anonymous]

My parents & the parents of 8 of my girlfriends let us go to Acapulco for Spring Break when we were juniors as well.

Thankfully nothing happened as we were all pretty responsible kids, but we definitely drank 7 a few hooked up with boys (nothing major, just making out mostly), but now I'm thinking to myself "what the hell were my parents thinking????" I guess I had proved how responsible I was but even with that being said, there is NO WAY on God's green earth would I let any of MY kids go ANYWHERE for Spring Break while in high school (and they are all very responsible, have great grades & are respectful!).

Especially with boy(s) that are two years older making mine the baby?? That's just a recipe for disaster & there could be a huge amount of peer pressure / trying things he's not ready for just to seek the older kids approval

Oh & it's not just yours, they all try & guilt us by pulling that BS line "you're the only one who says no" (I stopped believing that one in 3rd grade ).

No way, ever, nuh uh, NOPE!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents & the parents of 8 of my girlfriends let us go to Acapulco for Spring Break when we were juniors as well.

Thankfully nothing happened as we were all pretty responsible kids, but we definitely drank 7 a few hooked up with boys (nothing major, just making out mostly), but now I'm thinking to myself "what the hell were my parents thinking????" I guess I had proved how responsible I was but even with that being said, there is NO WAY on God's green earth would I let any of MY kids go ANYWHERE for Spring Break while in high school (and they are all very responsible, have great grades & are respectful!).

Especially with boy(s) that are two years older making mine the baby?? That's just a recipe for disaster & there could be a huge amount of peer pressure / trying things he's not ready for just to seek the older kids approval

Oh & it's not just yours, they all try & guilt us by pulling that BS line "you're the only one who says no" (I stopped believing that one in 3rd grade ).

No way, ever, nuh uh, NOPE!

I think that your thinking is the norm. I also think that thinking is wrong and could result in a rebound effect.

By not allowing your kids to live a little, you are by definition holding them back a bit. Once they get to college, they may be more likely to go a bit more crazy than if they were allowed more freedom in high school.

I think a lot of this is due to social media and parent shaming. Before the internet, you only needed to listen to the nervous nellies on your block or at your work. Now its 1,000's of well meaning people with stories to tell (think funny story about kids going to the beach and getting in trouble drinking). The only stories that you hear about are the disasters and hence it become almost a fact that any times you let a teen have some freedom they will crash.

This of course is simply not true. I have three kids spaced about 5 years apart. My older DD wanted to travel to Japan with a friend during the summer between her Junior and Senior year in high school. We listened to their plan and let her go for three weeks. The girls loved the experience and still talk about it today. She is now in her 3rd year of med school and is doing great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents & the parents of 8 of my girlfriends let us go to Acapulco for Spring Break when we were juniors as well.

Thankfully nothing happened as we were all pretty responsible kids, but we definitely drank 7 a few hooked up with boys (nothing major, just making out mostly), but now I'm thinking to myself "what the hell were my parents thinking????" I guess I had proved how responsible I was but even with that being said, there is NO WAY on God's green earth would I let any of MY kids go ANYWHERE for Spring Break while in high school (and they are all very responsible, have great grades & are respectful!).

Especially with boy(s) that are two years older making mine the baby?? That's just a recipe for disaster & there could be a huge amount of peer pressure / trying things he's not ready for just to seek the older kids approval

Oh & it's not just yours, they all try & guilt us by pulling that BS line "you're the only one who says no" (I stopped believing that one in 3rd grade ).

No way, ever, nuh uh, NOPE!

I think that your thinking is the norm. I also think that thinking is wrong and could result in a rebound effect.

By not allowing your kids to live a little, you are by definition holding them back a bit. Once they get to college, they may be more likely to go a bit more crazy than if they were allowed more freedom in high school.

I think a lot of this is due to social media and parent shaming. Before the internet, you only needed to listen to the nervous nellies on your block or at your work. Now its 1,000's of well meaning people with stories to tell (think funny story about kids going to the beach and getting in trouble drinking). The only stories that you hear about are the disasters and hence it become almost a fact that any times you let a teen have some freedom they will crash.

This of course is simply not true. I have three kids spaced about 5 years apart. My older DD wanted to travel to Japan with a friend during the summer between her Junior and Senior year in high school. We listened to their plan and let her go for three weeks. The girls loved the experience and still talk about it today. She is now in her 3rd year of med school and is doing great.

eh, there is a difference between traveling to Japan as a tourist (was this a school sponsored study program) and going to the beach to party. Surely you can see that, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents & the parents of 8 of my girlfriends let us go to Acapulco for Spring Break when we were juniors as well.

Thankfully nothing happened as we were all pretty responsible kids, but we definitely drank 7 a few hooked up with boys (nothing major, just making out mostly), but now I'm thinking to myself "what the hell were my parents thinking????" I guess I had proved how responsible I was but even with that being said, there is NO WAY on God's green earth would I let any of MY kids go ANYWHERE for Spring Break while in high school (and they are all very responsible, have great grades & are respectful!).

Especially with boy(s) that are two years older making mine the baby?? That's just a recipe for disaster & there could be a huge amount of peer pressure / trying things he's not ready for just to seek the older kids approval

Oh & it's not just yours, they all try & guilt us by pulling that BS line "you're the only one who says no" (I stopped believing that one in 3rd grade ).

No way, ever, nuh uh, NOPE!

I think that your thinking is the norm. I also think that thinking is wrong and could result in a rebound effect.

By not allowing your kids to live a little, you are by definition holding them back a bit. Once they get to college, they may be more likely to go a bit more crazy than if they were allowed more freedom in high school.

I think a lot of this is due to social media and parent shaming. Before the internet, you only needed to listen to the nervous nellies on your block or at your work. Now its 1,000's of well meaning people with stories to tell (think funny story about kids going to the beach and getting in trouble drinking). The only stories that you hear about are the disasters and hence it become almost a fact that any times you let a teen have some freedom they will crash.

This of course is simply not true. I have three kids spaced about 5 years apart. My older DD wanted to travel to Japan with a friend during the summer between her Junior and Senior year in high school. We listened to their plan and let her go for three weeks. The girls loved the experience and still talk about it today. She is now in her 3rd year of med school and is doing great.

eh, there is a difference between traveling to Japan as a tourist (was this a school sponsored study program) and going to the beach to party. Surely you can see that, right?

No it was just her and a friend. They stayed in hostels for the two weeks and were on their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents & the parents of 8 of my girlfriends let us go to Acapulco for Spring Break when we were juniors as well.

Thankfully nothing happened as we were all pretty responsible kids, but we definitely drank 7 a few hooked up with boys (nothing major, just making out mostly), but now I'm thinking to myself "what the hell were my parents thinking????" I guess I had proved how responsible I was but even with that being said, there is NO WAY on God's green earth would I let any of MY kids go ANYWHERE for Spring Break while in high school (and they are all very responsible, have great grades & are respectful!).

Especially with boy(s) that are two years older making mine the baby?? That's just a recipe for disaster & there could be a huge amount of peer pressure / trying things he's not ready for just to seek the older kids approval

Oh & it's not just yours, they all try & guilt us by pulling that BS line "you're the only one who says no" (I stopped believing that one in 3rd grade ).

No way, ever, nuh uh, NOPE!

I think that your thinking is the norm. I also think that thinking is wrong and could result in a rebound effect.

By not allowing your kids to live a little, you are by definition holding them back a bit. Once they get to college, they may be more likely to go a bit more crazy than if they were allowed more freedom in high school.

I think a lot of this is due to social media and parent shaming. Before the internet, you only needed to listen to the nervous nellies on your block or at your work. Now its 1,000's of well meaning people with stories to tell (think funny story about kids going to the beach and getting in trouble drinking). The only stories that you hear about are the disasters and hence it become almost a fact that any times you let a teen have some freedom they will crash.

This of course is simply not true. I have three kids spaced about 5 years apart. My older DD wanted to travel to Japan with a friend during the summer between her Junior and Senior year in high school. We listened to their plan and let her go for three weeks. The girls loved the experience and still talk about it today. She is now in her 3rd year of med school and is doing great.

eh, there is a difference between traveling to Japan as a tourist (was this a school sponsored study program) and going to the beach to party. Surely you can see that, right?

No it was just her and a friend. They stayed in hostels for the two weeks and were on their own.

I also think this is different. I went alone to Europe when I was 17. I traveled to a few countries, staying with relatives or friends of family, or hostels. (all travel and hostels paid for by money I had earned myself) I would let my kids do this if they had the courage, but I wouldn't let them go with a group of high schoolers to a beach house for a week.

[Anonymous]

<18 no explanation needed for saying no.

>18 as long as they aren't asking for financial help or help in making it happen, you can't say no.

[Anonymous]

No way. My son just turned 17 and I wouldn't let him do something like this.