Inherited money and divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your marriage or your sisters marriage at risk right now?

Nobody's at this point, though hers marriage is much younger (i am married 14 years, kids house, no issues, she married few years , no kids, some flights, but likely just early marriage fights though). We are not thinking one of us will divorce, but my parents want the money to be put in our names and held in a joint account between her and me.

Here is full description of that money. Money technically is hers (my sister's) - I was given some amounts over lifetime as gifts for major life events (graduating master school, marriage, having each of our kids, and such). My parents determined that my sister will get exaclty same total amount from them as gift (technically in their mind it is already hers even though she may not have those life events as many kids if any as I do, she never graduated from higher education etc). Fact is that even though financial gifts were given in association with significant events in my life, the same money goes to my sister without regard if she would have same events. That is how it always was in our family from prior generations - all kids get equal.

My sister is VERY sloppy with money, she may easily decide to buy nicer car with unexpected financial gift rather than saving for future down payment, or kids and such. Obviously, while parents want her to know she has the money and we both are equal in their eyes, but they also want to make sure the money will not be just spent. They trust me to watch after her and want to make joint account for both of us, where most of the money will be hers, but I will help her not make decisions on a moment desir and spend all the money on BMW while they live in a so-so tiny apartment with near zero savings. I hope this makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Tell them to put it in a trust if they are still alive

[Anonymous]

Well if it's out in a joint account with both your names, it's not 50/50. She would be fully within her rights to use all of it. As would you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your marriage or your sisters marriage at risk right now?

Nobody's at this point, though hers marriage is much younger (i am married 14 years, kids house, no issues, she married few years , no kids, some flights, but likely just early marriage fights though). We are not thinking one of us will divorce, but my parents want the money to be put in our names and held in a joint account between her and me.

Here is full description of that money. Money technically is hers (my sister's) - I was given some amounts over lifetime as gifts for major life events (graduating master school, marriage, having each of our kids, and such). My parents determined that my sister will get exaclty same total amount from them as gift (technically in their mind it is already hers even though she may not have those life events as many kids if any as I do, she never graduated from higher education etc). Fact is that even though financial gifts were given in association with significant events in my life, the same money goes to my sister without regard if she would have same events. That is how it always was in our family from prior generations - all kids get equal.

My sister is VERY sloppy with money, she may easily decide to buy nicer car with unexpected financial gift rather than saving for future down payment, or kids and such. Obviously, while parents want her to know she has the money and we both are equal in their eyes, but they also want to make sure the money will not be just spent. They trust me to watch after her and want to make joint account for both of us, where most of the money will be hers, but I will help her not make decisions on a moment desir and spend all the money on BMW while they live in a so-so tiny apartment with near zero savings. I hope this makes sense.

They could put the money into an account in their name, with a "Transfer on Death" to her, so when they pass it will go straight to her directly. That would be one way to ensure she knows the money is hers, but she won't be able to spend it now. If it's joint with the two of you, she could still easily take it out and blow it on a car. I assume in general terms, we're discussing something more like $50,000 rather than $500,000, yes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your marriage or your sisters marriage at risk right now?

Nobody's at this point, though hers marriage is much younger (i am married 14 years, kids house, no issues, she married few years , no kids, some flights, but likely just early marriage fights though). We are not thinking one of us will divorce, but my parents want the money to be put in our names and held in a joint account between her and me.

Here is full description of that money. Money technically is hers (my sister's) - I was given some amounts over lifetime as gifts for major life events (graduating master school, marriage, having each of our kids, and such). My parents determined that my sister will get exaclty same total amount from them as gift (technically in their mind it is already hers even though she may not have those life events as many kids if any as I do, she never graduated from higher education etc). Fact is that even though financial gifts were given in association with significant events in my life, the same money goes to my sister without regard if she would have same events. That is how it always was in our family from prior generations - all kids get equal.

My sister is VERY sloppy with money, she may easily decide to buy nicer car with unexpected financial gift rather than saving for future down payment, or kids and such. Obviously, while parents want her to know she has the money and we both are equal in their eyes, but they also want to make sure the money will not be just spent. They trust me to watch after her and want to make joint account for both of us, where most of the money will be hers, but I will help her not make decisions on a moment desir and spend all the money on BMW while they live in a so-so tiny apartment with near zero savings. I hope this makes sense.

They could put the money into an account in their name, with a "Transfer on Death" to her, so when they pass it will go straight to her directly. That would be one way to ensure she knows the money is hers, but she won't be able to spend it now. If it's joint with the two of you, she could still easily take it out and blow it on a car. I assume in general terms, we're discussing something more like $50,000 rather than $500,000, yes?

we are discussing somewhere between $100K and $200K (not sure of exact number but feel it is about $150K of hers and about $50K mine). I thought if the account is put as "Larla AND Marla" then, money cannot betaken without BOTH of us present. We had that issue with my husband when the bank put "AND" in our new account which prevented either of us take money without other being present, we had then to change it to "OR" (did not know that when opened account and did not pay attention to ANd or OR).

[Anonymous]

You are making this way too complicated for so little money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are making this way too complicated for so little money.

not me. my parents And.. for somebody with $3k-$5K total savings $150K is not little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are making this way too complicated for so little money.

not me. my parents And.. for somebody with $3k-$5K total savings $150K is not little. [/

But it is a relatively small amount to be thinking about trusts or other arrangements that require legal fees, etc. Let your parents put it into an account with your sister having access to it as needed. For your remaining amount of $50k, they should just give it to you. Are you really worried about keeping 25k away from your DH should you divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are making this way too complicated for so little money.

not me. my parents And.. for somebody with $3k-$5K total savings $150K is not little.

But it is a relatively small amount to be thinking about trusts or other arrangements that require legal fees, etc. Let your parents put it into an account with your sister having access to it as needed. For your remaining amount of $50k, they should just give it to you. Are you really worried about keeping 25k away from your DH should you divorce?

It doesn't sound like there is concern about the op and her marriage, it's about the sister.

In that situation, I'd have the parents put the money in a separate account, with her as the beneficiary, and then whenever little sister is ready to buy a house, it can be gifted as a down payment. Otherwise it's like dangling it in front of her, but saying she can't touch it unless big sister approves. It just sounds like its asking for trouble.

[Anonymous]

Only on DCUM would someone say that $150k is a small amount.

[Anonymous]

You can have an account that requires two signatures for withdrawal, but most joint accounts are not that way so be very careful how you set it up.

[Anonymous]

Your parents need to know that by gifting this money they will have to pay gift tax, which is very expensive, on whatever is out in the account. They really need tax advice before they do anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your parents need to know that by gifting this money they will have to pay gift tax, which is very expensive, on whatever is out in the account. They really need tax advice before they do anything.

Ugh. No. They won't.

To the extent it exceeds annual gift tax limitations, the excess is applied against the unified credit.

You really need to keep your ill-informed opinions quiet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can have an account that requires two signatures for withdrawal, but most joint accounts are not that way so be very careful how you set it up.

I think you'd be hard-pressed to find a bank that will do that anymore, maybe a very small local bank with a single branch or something. You won't get an atm card, for example, won't have online access etc - you'd have to read through all the fine print of the account disclosure information - the bank will probably tell you to set up a trust account instead

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your marriage or your sisters marriage at risk right now?

Nobody's at this point, though hers marriage is much younger (i am married 14 years, kids house, no issues, she married few years , no kids, some flights, but likely just early marriage fights though). We are not thinking one of us will divorce, but my parents want the money to be put in our names and held in a joint account between her and me.

Here is full description of that money. Money technically is hers (my sister's) - I was given some amounts over lifetime as gifts for major life events (graduating master school, marriage, having each of our kids, and such). My parents determined that my sister will get exaclty same total amount from them as gift (technically in their mind it is already hers even though she may not have those life events as many kids if any as I do, she never graduated from higher education etc). Fact is that even though financial gifts were given in association with significant events in my life, the same money goes to my sister without regard if she would have same events. That is how it always was in our family from prior generations - all kids get equal.

My sister is VERY sloppy with money, she may easily decide to buy nicer car with unexpected financial gift rather than saving for future down payment, or kids and such. Obviously, while parents want her to know she has the money and we both are equal in their eyes, but they also want to make sure the money will not be just spent. They trust me to watch after her and want to make joint account for both of us, where most of the money will be hers, but I will help her not make decisions on a moment desir and spend all the money on BMW while they live in a so-so tiny apartment with near zero savings. I hope this makes sense.

Your parents shouldn't be "giving" you this money if they have so little faith in your sister's ability to use it wisely. Everything you describe is a recipe for destroying your sibling relationship, because from reading your post, the money doesn't even belong to you, and you somewhat resent that (hence your repeated mentioning of "life events"), and you are in charge of dispensing or withholding the money from her sister. I predict you are either going to become abusively controlling of the money (like your parents) or your sister is going to resent the hell out of you and eventually disown you as a sibling.