Homework - is this normal? Pediatrician says some children are just aloof. Nightly frustration.
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Anonymous
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We are strict on getting homework done to learn to stay focus and to start and finish up a task but we never spend 2 hrs on it! No way. As parents, we have trouble focusing on things for 2 hours. The most is 1 hr but that's usually cause the child has focusing problems that the teacher pointed out. He can be distracted by just about anything you might not think anyone would be distracted by. Then again, that's a lot of 1st grader's problems. Our 1 hr usually involves a snack at the same time and explaining words, its meaning, usage, if he doesn't understand it.
Don't make your child suffer 2 hours, it's too much even for strict parenting like myself. Finish up a word or two. My child started 1st grade with really bad handwriting and suddenly it's all legible. Handwriting isn't everything. A child can have problems forming sentences, putting all those words together to form sentences and processing these words, sentences into meanings. For practices, we start our child off with a simple piece of paper or notebook and we say, write a word, any word you know or any word you think it's a real word. If you want to, just do a 15 minute exercise on words. Give each other some words to spell. This usually ends up to be about 3 words. Keep it short, fun and silly. Don't go beyond 15 minute when you see resistance. you can even start out with the word 'silly'. We do this in long car rides, especially when we're tired of long sentences and dialogue. |
Anonymous
This. He's in first grade. Who cares if he's getting marked down? Set a time limit for writing practice, and do not exceed it. If you're really worried about the skill itself, maybe have him write a story and then illustrate it...something more fun and interesting. But a two-hour battle over homework like this is insane and counterproductive. |
Anonymous
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Two hours is too long, but the writing needs help. Why? Because teaching good habits when they are young is important! Also, there may be a minor fine motor or vision issue. DS was like yours, but he received OT. His writing was big and most of it was about 1/4 below the line. I started putting an envelope or very thin notebook just below the line to help him gauge where the line is. He said it helped. There is also paper that you can ask the school for or buy yourself that has a shaded or raised lowed portion to help kids gauge where their letters are on the line. I also went old school when it came to constructing sentences. Instead of the stuff that they are teaching now, I used the 5-Ws to help my son write better sentences. Breaking it down step-by-step and then building the sentence back up to come up with logical and complete sentences.
I know its hard. We used to have almost nightly battles with homework at that age, until I realized that we both needed a break. If things were getting too stressing and starting to take too long (homework at this age shouldn't take more than 10-15 mins or so), then we both took a break. He got to go play and I did something else. Stress free! 10-15 mins later we would re-group and make a lot more progress than just trying to plow through it. This helped immensely. He's 9 now and there is no fight to do homework. He comes home and starts it right away with no problem. |
Anonymous
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First, this is not something you need to worry about in first grade. Who cares if his idiot teacher gives him a bad grade for it. Let him write the way he wants to write, and then get on with your evening. His homework should take 10-15 minutes. After that, he stops. College recruiters will not see this grade.
Secondly, he should be writing on something called "Penmanship paper" or "Handwriting paper". There are several different styles but the lines are very wide with a dashed line halfway up that shows where the lower case letters stop. He should be using this paper for all of his work while he develops his skills. There are many practice websites you can use to print this style of paper. Check out this website to print the paper and practice sheets: http://studenthandouts.com/handwriting-worksheets/ 
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Anonymous
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OP, My son was like this and the issue was severe ADHD, inattentive type. Inattentive ADHD is not well recognized so you will not receive much help from posting on this forum or even asking your general ped, who is not an expert, either. You can post on the special needs board, but first I suggest you read up on inattentive ADHD symptoms in young children, because in order to have a fruitful discussion, you need to make a list of symptoms and use medical or psychological terms. So: 1. Processing speed is evidently below the normal range. 1st red flag. 2. Fine motor skills are lacking. 2nd red flag. 2. Does he have problems with spatial awareness and coordination? 3. Is he often day-dreaming and inattentive, off in his own world? 4. Can he sometimes have periods of intense hyperfocus, only on topics he loves? ADHD is a dysregulation of attention, not a lack of attention. 5. Social skills? You say aloof. Does that mean inattentive and therefore not able to communicate and socialize in an age-appropriate way? All of these would be red flags for inattentive ADHD. If your son does have a diagnosable disorder, you will find that his symptoms become more pronounced and impactful over time. He's still at the age where parents are tearing their hair out and wondering whether they're the crazy ones, because no one except them can see the entire problem. Can you tell I've been there? 
So hang in there, OP, and please have patience with him. It's very hard to teach an inattentive child without damaging the relationship with anger and frustration, but that's what you need to do. If he does have ADHD, there will be accommodations and services you can ask from the school with an IEP or a 504 (IEP strongly recommended because more enforceable), which is a document guaranteeing help for various special needs. But, first, do your research, and then, have him evaluated by a psychologist. |
Anonymous
Another poster, thanks for the link. My daughter is younger but we've been doing workbooks like this to help her with her handwriting and spacing. |
Anonymous
| I am not a teacher, but maybe you can think of a way to make practice fun ( not the homework). What first came to mind is some kind of white board and shaving cream. Mom can smooth out the shaving cream and draw the lines like the practice sheet above. Let you child use his finger to write words/letters to practice. Do it in the bathtub if you can't stand the mess. Maybe some others can chime in on variations that you can pick up in a specialty teaching store. Regarding the homework, talk to the teacher. 2 hours is too much. |
Anonymous
| There's an app called Touch and Write. You select a list of words, child traces over letters on screen, and it looks like he's using whipped cream, ketchup, chalk, many other options. May be dysgraphia or adhd, I have no expertise. But this is a fun activity that helps strengthen letter formation skills. |
Anonymous
| try handwriting without tears. It's really not that uncommon among a set of 1st graders to still be working on developing handwriting & there's a wide range of fine motor skills. you can also find some things to help develop fine motor here that is pretty much what you do at OT anyway http://therapystreetforkids.com/ -- but things like more cutting, playing with putty, etc. better use of your time. |
Anonymous
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I just turned 40 in October. I can't write on paper without lines. Even WITH lines, I tend to dip under and go over. I have terrible handwriting. Magically, I seem to have a decent life in spite of that.
I would stop with the homework. It's 1st grade. This is a fine motor skill. |
Anonymous
| We got paper at Office Depot that had an embossed "bumpy" bottom line for my dyslexic second grader. Has really helped him stay on the line. |