How do I tell my wife that she doesnt know how to dress herself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:http://www.bethatmom.com/

And put your money where your mouth is.

holy crap! That woman thinks a $950 clutch purse is a "steal"?!?! (It's also gold and python = only popular for a season or two.)
A $400 bracelet? Also gold and a cuff?

I would not hire that woman. You'd have spent too much money on a wardrobe that would be out of style in 2 years. I'd rather spend the money on a (very) nice evening out then blow it on a purse and bracelet.

[Anonymous]

There are other personal shoppers - there was a thread on this. Not all of them recommend such craziness; mine didn't. Also, most better department stores have personal shoppers (the ones at Neiman's in Tysons are supposed to be particularly good). Most stores carry a range of price points and the shoppers can steer you towards good brands for which you are not just paying for the brand name. Theory, Vince, Tahari, etc. are what's in my closet, not Armani - which the shopper told me was a waste of money and the fabric not that great.

But, again, the OP's DW has to want to do it. Setting her up with a shopper before she is ready will not help and just frustrate everybody.

[Anonymous]

Is she 4' tall? How is size eight overweight?

[Anonymous]

I'm just shy of 5'4" and my BMI would be "overweight" if I wore a size 8.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm just shy of 5'4" and my BMI would be "overweight" if I wore a size 8.

He said she was a few pounds overweight. I'm 5'8" and when I am a size 8, as I am now, I am definitely a few pounds overweight. At least 10 pounds, frankly. As some recent articles have pointed out, sizes are gradually getting bigger.

Anyway, OP, I would love it if my husband described me the way you described your wife. You call her hot and make her sound hot!

[Anonymous]

I don't think of myself as a frump, but I had been pretty lazy about my work wardrobe after we went business casual. My husband gently suggested that I needed to make my wardrobe more professional for work, and he was right. So we budgeted for it one month, he went along with me to Nordstrom (which has a comfortable dressing room lounge that men can hang out in), and waited patiently while I used their professional shopper service (free) to pick out a lot of new clothes. I hate shopping, so the moral support was very helpful and I appreciated that he was proactive in helping me make a change without being overbearing about it. I still have some older clothes that I like but that he doesn't think are particularly flattering, so if I put them on to go out, he'll suggest an alternative (I really love you in that chocolate brown dress), and he's usually right. Loving, supportive and proactive did the trick. It's clear that you love your wife and I think it's great that you're trying to figure out how to be helpful about this.

[Anonymous]

Actually, I've shopped with that woman (That Mom, her name is Joyce) and I had her take me to Target. She went through my closet and helped me lay out better outfits out of my existing pieces (it was about 3 hours, I think it was around $250), and then we went shopping for about 2 hours (which was about $150). It was a huge help, and I've worn all of it. I think on clothes I spent about $300 total.

Yes, it all added up, but if you look at the back of your closet and all the things you don't wear because you bought wrong, it will far surpass that (at least mine did!).

[Anonymous]

I need to throw out my closet and get better clothes, too. For me it is not so much the money, but the time and the thought I would need to put into it. I know I need to jump in and do it, too. I hate that my clothes are frumpy, old and are not the most flattering.

It's kind of like decorating my house. It's a great house, but I don't want to spend the money to buy nice things until, I have the appropriate time to thoughtfully figure it out. So now it is sparse and has a mishmash of furniture. . . .

I guess I need to treat my self better in these areas!

[Anonymous]

You don't.

[Anonymous]

OP, maybe your wife doesn't want to "dress sexy." Isn't that her choice? You're trying to change something that she doesn't seem to see as a problem. Sure, you say she's "embarrassed by her poor choices" at cocktail parties, but somehow it's hard to picture her saying, "I'm embarrassed by my poor choices in clothing." If she really feels embarrassed, she'll do something about it. It's pretty difficult to change someone else's behavior (or clothing choices). I wonder if she feels you're being self-serving in suggesting that she wear sexy clothes.

[Anonymous]

OP, next time you post a question like this, you should claim you're the sister, instead of admitting you're the husband. You'll get better responses and less backlash from the anti-husband brigade.

[Anonymous]

Hey, I didn't know my husband was posting here!

[Anonymous]

To the OP, I think you are a GREAT hubby for trying to help her out. For a lot of women, they first have to feel GREAT about how they look before they will want to dress better. Get her a gift certificate to a good hair salon (www.salonkhouri.com), then take her shopping to Nordstrom and use their (free) personal shopper. I swear after having hair done, I feel like a million bucks and am ready to buy an entire store out. If I feel like my looks aren't worth the money I am putting into the outfit, I am not at all motivated to buy new clothes.

[Anonymous]

You should go to www.aici.org and find a certified professional image consultant. Someone working at a store will only sell you stuff from their store whether it works or not - and get commission on it. They will not have your best interests at heart.

A really good wardrobe consultant will be user-friendly and educate your wife - not just simply shove her into clothing without explaining why. She will take the time to uncover the best colors, fits and styles for her so that she understand, appreciates and loves everything in her closet.