Parent involvement in Bethesda public elementary schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many schools restrict this because of privacy concerns with special needs kids, IEPs, etc.

This is pure speculation. I have heard it is more so because of the officious nature of Bethesda parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many schools restrict this because of privacy concerns with special needs kids, IEPs, etc.

This is pure speculation. I have heard it is more so because of the officious nature of Bethesda parents.

That is one principal told my friend. Bethesda moms are too much for the principal to handle so she banned them all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many schools restrict this because of privacy concerns with special needs kids, IEPs, etc.

This is pure speculation. I have heard it is more so because of the officious nature of Bethesda parents.

It has nothing to do with Bethesda, it has to do with human nature. However, they should give parents the chance to volunteer and only ban then when they do something concerning. Teaches complain they don't have enough time to teach, but parents who have time can easily come in and do the prep work and others things that do not directly work with kids.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Does your school have any parent-visit opportunities (like grandparents day mentioned above)? Ours is limited to back-to-school night and one "open-house" day.

There are unofficial occasions where the parents are invited into the classroom to share info about their jobs (a Dad's day even which took place), or how they might celebrate the holidays differently (culturally), or to help organize a one off event like "author's day"

Personally I try to stay out of the classroom and away from the crazy, disorganized mothers who run the PTA.

Disorganized? I don't think so. At our Bethesda ES our PTA budget is close to $100,000. There are many, many people involved. We have three parties a year. Parents are not invited to the parties because of space but can attend Halloween parade. Volunteers during school hours are regularly solicited. I don't think there is any level of "typical." There are some parents who are involved in everything and others like me who volunteer when it's convenient. I think that the overall number of activities plus attendance at the back to school picnic and other events illustrates to me that a majority of parents are very invested in the school even if they are not regular volunteers.

You talk too much and that's part of the problem. I am not criticizing the fundraising. Its primarily the committee "chaos" and email jungle that the PTA seems to be so tightly wound up in. A lot of time and energy (of those very same PTA folks) is wasted. Its like rigor mortis for the soul.

NP here. Come on, you know you're generalizing and that you're wrong.

I'm on the PTA board of a Bethesda-area elementary. We are unpaid but dedicated volunteers, and although in some cases our profession dovetails nicely with our volunteer niche, often we learn on the job. Since the hierarchy is loose, organization can sometimes be perceived as lacking. There is only one board member who talks too much at our school, out of 20-odd. The PTA is a machine dealing with tens of thousands of dollars, vendors, artists, deadlines that run into the following year and many volunteers. Occasionally things go awry, most of the time it works fine. No time is lost for anything, we run a tight ship because we keep a rolling turnover, so we know what others did before us, what worked and what didn't. The principal and school administration are very supportive and ready to lend a hand.

Here's what bugs me about PTA perceptions, and keep in mind I came to this country not knowing a thing about PTAs. The only time other parents notice the PTA is when something goes wrong. The main concern voiced on DCUM is that the PTA is a bunch of cliquey mothers who look down on the rest of the school. Not so. We NEED newcomers, and love their enthusiasm and energy. We NEED them to take our places, when we're burned out or our kids graduate, because this is how it works. If you want to come in and change it all up, GO FOR IT. Just don't be surprised when it's a lot more work than you thought. That we all did for free.

Why say you need volunteers when you don't actually want them? This year I've tried to volunteer several times and never heard anything. I've been to every PTA meeting. I'm one of the few parents who still goes sadly as most gave up feeling unwelcome into the clique. I just go to find out what is going on at school as otherwise the teacher and school are minimal in their communications. There is also a huge waste in funds. Pet projects are funded rather than real school needs that make no sense (they say they have to pay for things that volunteers can do but never get volunteers which makes no sense when I openly offer at the meeting). Its sad only a select few parents get to be involved and the rest are shut out. They wonder why people like us don't attend their fundraisers and other activities and when you speak up about dates/times, they dismiss those reasons as they live very different lives. Sure, the PTA does some good things but for all the good, most of it seems like a huge waste of money and time.

At this point you're just stirring the pot, PP. Troll.

[Anonymous]

Our Bethesda area elementary really encourages volunteers inside the classroom and out. Parents seem pretty respectful of privacy, and the principal has reminded parents in a a general way to not chatter about what goes on in the classroom. Parents are also volunteer to help outside the classroom with administrative things (for example, photocopying for the teachers, helping put away books in the media center). Our school also welcomes volunteers at lunch and recess. We don't have grandparents day, but there are a number of family events throughout the year where parents are welcomed. Even if you are not on the PTA, there are other ways to help out.

[Anonymous]

I'm on the PTA board at an elem school in Bethesda. The generalizations that the PP state are just wrong. We NEED and welcome more volunteers. And while I like the other members of the board, I don't spend time with them socially. The clique stereotype is outdated, at least at our Bethesda school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the PTA board at an elem school in Bethesda. The generalizations that the PP state are just wrong. We NEED and welcome more volunteers. And while I like the other members of the board, I don't spend time with them socially. The clique stereotype is outdated, at least at our Bethesda school.

I have been to all the meetings this year at year. The last meeting I offered to take over a section when no one else did not want to do it. The pta board member said she would contact me and never did. I signed up for several committees and nothing. We are new to the school and they told another parent they did not want me involved as they did not know me. It's great if you do t feel it is happening at your school but you may not even realize people feel that way. But, when you have an ok turn out at the meetings at the beginning of the year and you have very few people show up mid year. The PTA blames the cold but that was not why.

[Anonymous]

PTAs have a tough time. They try to add enrichment that the school should really be doing but moco does not fund. Yes - sometimes things go to pet projects and yes sometimes a new parent is frozen out. Such is life. They can't hand off annual fundraiser to a newbie, so they basically test you out at lower tier jobs. It might not be official or even cognitive but it is true. For every event, they have a tight timeframe to gear up and if someone signs up and then bails it is challenging to triage. Plus - as a prior poster said, they get pilloried for every snafu. It's a volunteer organization with limited authority and lots of expectations loaded in by parents "the pta should really do x". A recipe for disappointment. That said, volunteer and help out in ways that make you as a parent happy, but don't imagine it will be a model of efficiency, enlightenment or risk taking. For me, it is really all about my kid knowing I care about and invest in her school. Plus - I don't mind making sure I know the teachers and school staff. just because something is imperfect does not mean it can't do modest good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many schools restrict this because of privacy concerns with special needs kids, IEPs, etc.

This is pure speculation. I have heard it is more so because of the officious nature of Bethesda parents.[/quote
That is one principal told my friend. Bethesda moms are too much for the principal to handle so she banned them all.

There is so much truth in this. There are many very pushy demanding unrealistic and obnoxious moms at our Bethesda Es. I can fully understand the instinct to keep them away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PTAs have a tough time. They try to add enrichment that the school should really be doing but moco does not fund. Yes - sometimes things go to pet projects and yes sometimes a new parent is frozen out. Such is life. They can't hand off annual fundraiser to a newbie, so they basically test you out at lower tier jobs. It might not be official or even cognitive but it is true. For every event, they have a tight timeframe to gear up and if someone signs up and then bails it is challenging to triage. Plus - as a prior poster said, they get pilloried for every snafu. It's a volunteer organization with limited authority and lots of expectations loaded in by parents "the pta should really do x". A recipe for disappointment. That said, volunteer and help out in ways that make you as a parent happy, but don't imagine it will be a model of efficiency, enlightenment or risk taking. For me, it is really all about my kid knowing I care about and invest in her school. Plus - I don't mind making sure I know the teachers and school staff. just because something is imperfect does not mean it can't do modest good.

It reflects very poorly on the PTA members when they claim they want new volunteers but freeze people out. You lose good parents who have the time and are willing to help. You lose donations and support that can impact the school. Its pretty sad when the same 20+ people show up and drone on and on about the lack of support when they are the cause for the lack of support.

[Anonymous]

I have never encountered an inclusive or well organized PTA. It attracts people who mis manage situations and other people and its frankly, alienating.

I think PTA s attract the wrong people. Those who want a social notch on their CV rather than have aims for the good of everyone.