spending the holiday with my usually angry parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God makes teenagers and old people mean because otherwise we'd never be able to let them go.

Ha! Yes, indeed.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry. My in laws are like this -- always the victim of something, whether it's big government or big business or doctors or whatever. It's no way to live, and I don't think they are happy. They particularly distrust the medical community and one member of the family has already died after repeatedly not seeing a doctor and ignoring a condition. I suspect your family is also very unhappy, so treat them like you would treat a depressed person or a tantruming child. What they believe may not be real but their pain is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't. You don't get to decide how they should live; you don't get to say whether they are happy or how they could be happier. You are not in charge of them.

You are in charge of YOU.

If you are miserable and judgmental and sad and disappointed when you are around them, DON'T BE AROUND THEM. Or at least limit your time. If they make comments you don't want to hear, either choose to ignore it or choose to say, "I'm not comfortable with you saying that kind of thing in my presence." If they continue, LEAVE.

By continuing to be around them and stew over how you think they should live their lives, you are making YOURSELF unhappy. Take some responsibility here.

If they are not good people, then don't be around them. If you feel you must be around them, make it brief.

+1. Excellent advice.

[Anonymous]

Take up a musical instrument. I find the ukulele to be easy to play, small, light, and portable. Learn a bunch of Holiday songs and some of their old faves, they are easy. Instead of talking, sing songs. \

https://ukutabs.com/top-tabs/99-most-popular-ukulele-songs/all-time/
http://www.ukulele-tabs.com/famous-ukulele-songs.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will probably be like them when you are their age. You think you won't, but you likely will be.

As my grandmother used to say, it's no fun getting old.

Look through fresh eyes and have some compassion.

What?! This is not true. The vast majority of elderly are happy people who then get grandkids and children to surround them in old age. I love my grandparents and parents dearly.

Right, PP. A vast majority - given your scientific sample of 2-4.

Aging is hell. It's hard to handle. People get cranky.

Then why take all the meds, have all of the procedures done that all of the elderly have? If life sucks, let go. Do they just want to stay alive to drive everyone else nuts?

Shaking my head.

You'll learn.