Do you know someone that shouldn't of had kids and did it anyway?

[Anonymous]

Of course. Lots of whoops babies. They're all miserable of course. If you feel hesitant, OP, listen to your gut. It won't steer you wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/606770.page

hahaha this made me LOL for real

[Anonymous]

I know TONS of situations where the parents were not ready or able to provide a stable household for kids. Most of the kids in these situations turned out to be great, to my surprise. I think that probably most of us were born under circumstances that were not ideal but made it though and thrived.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I know of a number of situations where people should not have kids. Some worked out well and some did not. I grew up in a small town with lots of drugs, poverty, and abuse. I saw some pretty horrible things before I left for college. If the parents have strong characters and will, they will see the need to pick themselves up for the sake of their child. Keep an eye on them; involve yourself if you can, in positive ways to help alleviate stress. If things are so horrible that the child is not safe, then involve someone who can get involved in an official capacity.

[Anonymous]

OP, I totally get your concern. I have friends who brought kids into unstable situations and it was all I could do just to hope for the best for them. Are you close enough to express your concerns in a tactful way? Does she know how expensive babies are? (some people have no idea how much childcare costs.) Would she be ok parenting solo if the strain of parenting blows up her marriage?

[Anonymous]

The grammar police really needs to stand down.

One of my best friends married a truly horrible guy. He abused her emotionally, was a total unemployed (and unemployable) loser who cheated on her and told her outright he never wanted kids. My friend herself has always been very loving and maternal so I wasn't worried about her as a mom, more so about the safety of her son and growing up with a horrible father.

The first couple years were not great, and my friend's husband started getting physical and so she got up the courage to leave him. She is a great single mom and her kid is well cared for, so they are doing okay.

Unfortunately you never know how these things will turn out, but I think being a good friend is the best thing you can do for the child.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you can help her out at this stage by doing some research on local childcare options. Not in a 'you can't afford it' way, but a 'here's what's out there' way. If you include pricing, she'll get to see the financial challenge she's headed for.