Am I rude to

[Anonymous]

Oh yes, I often get that terrible stomach bug too when it's in-law party time. So sad to miss the fun, but you know how it goes.

[Anonymous]

This is t an in laws problem. This is a husband problem.

Sounds like he has a history of leaving this crap to you, which is why she cornered you and not him.

I'm guessing there's a history of him letting her blame you for unpopular decisions.

All it would take is for him to draw a line and maintain it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your entire family needs to boycott their Christmas party then. Also, what are the plans for Christmas and what does she want you to do?

The plans for Christmas are Friday at their house. Saturday at my parents and SIL(dh's sister) will also be going to her MIL's. Then Sunday a quick visit with both ILs and my parents and then nuclear time. MIL started bawling that Friday wasn't good enough even though it was her idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More context would help, but if they literally would not acknowledge your presence, then I think it's fair for you to opt out.

In your situation, I wouldn't demand anything, but I would appreciate my spouse having a backbone and standing up for our family. That's easier said than done for folks raised in emotionally abusive families though.

I would talk and they would act like they didn't hear me. My DH eventually got fed up and we left.

If DH is ok with it, I would skip. Have they done things like this before, or do you usually have a good relationship? I know people go crazy over the holidays, but this kind of treatment would be very strange coming out of the blue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your entire family needs to boycott their Christmas party then. Also, what are the plans for Christmas and what does she want you to do?

The plans for Christmas are Friday at their house. Saturday at my parents and SIL(dh's sister) will also be going to her MIL's. Then Sunday a quick visit with both ILs and my parents and then nuclear time. MIL started bawling that Friday wasn't good enough even though it was her idea.

Ah, she's hurt. Immature but hurt. If your husband can step up and talk to her, get her to be reasonable, then I'd still go. I was all for skipping the Friday party until you clarified that her gripe is that Friday isn't really Christmas; she's right on that point, but if she wanted to host Christmas, it's a little late to do anything about that now.