How do you convince an arrogant self-obsessed woman you're not into her

[Anonymous]

I know a woman that is like this with a man she peviously dated. She is still following up with him. His responses lately are all about religion and how God is helping his life, etc. It's turning her interest away. Maybe something to try??

[Anonymous]

You can't control people; especially crazy people. And you certainly can't control what they think.

If what you are saying is true, I would be cautious. If you harshly reject her, she could get malicious and try to frame things like you were harassing her and try to get you into trouble.

Just play it cool around her. Don't speak to her unless it's necessary. Try to have other people around, if you do talk to her. Keep any interaction with her as boring and innocuous as possible.

[Anonymous]

I would talk to HR.

[Anonymous]

post a thread about it on DCUM, you're sure to get some good advice there.

[Anonymous]

Just stop seeing + talking to her.

Actions speak louder than words.

[Anonymous]

OP - next time she is smirking at you, go up and ask her about any attractive friend of hers in a interested way. Or ask her opinion on a surprise gift for a woman you're very interested in.
It'll wipe the smirk off her face.

[Anonymous]

OP, why do you need to convince her? Can't you just ignore her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, why do you need to convince her? Can't you just ignore her?

She's on my team so it's not possible to not speak to her. It's just uncomfortable because she tells people I want her and she's certainly convinced herself of that. Just weird and uncomfortable. It's like when someone is convinced you're lying but you're telling the truth. Awkward and hard to defend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be interested to know why this bothers you. I believe most men would lap up the attention, arrogant or not.

Not really. As a guy I use to get a lot of this. If you are not attracted to the woman, it just very uncomfortable. I was very picky about who I would go out with, other people are not. Some woman get very aggressive and don't take no for an answer. They put pressure on you through their friends, stalk you, grope you and get angry when you do show interest. Do you lap up the attention of a guy you do not find attractive? What about a guy who stalks and gropes you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why do you need to convince her? Can't you just ignore her?

She's on my team so it's not possible to not speak to her. It's just uncomfortable because she tells people I want her and she's certainly convinced herself of that. Just weird and uncomfortable. It's like when someone is convinced you're lying but you're telling the truth. Awkward and hard to defend.

Talk work, ignore the rest. It must be annoying but not the end of the world. You can't control what she tells other people anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would talk to HR.

If it's at the point where she's talking about you to colleagues then I would let her know that you are hearing from people that she is spreading untruths around the workplace and it is making you highly uncomfortable. Tell her if it continues you will go to HR. Let colleagues who approach you with misinformation know you will also take this approach. Or just go directly to HR.

[Anonymous]

Announce your engagement to someone else!

[Anonymous]

If she's really as arrogant, and "self-obsessed," as you say, other people probably take what she says with a grain of salt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she's really as arrogant, and "self-obsessed," as you say, other people probably take what she says with a grain of salt.

It really depends. I have two women like this in my work place, but they are actually top notch employees. Brilliant yet crazy, so management tolerates them and is sort of amused by their uncouth outbursts and ego-driven showboating.

Yeah, I know men have done this forever in the work place, but frankly I'd prefer to get rid of anyone who acts inappropriately. They alienate others and inhibit effective collaboration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With action, OP. Ignore, stay busy, be polite but vague and a bit dismissive. That's what we ladies do.

Take it farther. Ignore her. When you run into her, look past her and leave quickly. It's actually quite simple, OP.