What gift to bring when someone invites you to their house for dinner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just wine (or beer for more casual, or good liquor from a friend who knows our drinking habits). We host regularly. I don't want flowers - too much effort, not necessarily my style or color scheme, etc. I don't want a box of chocolates. Certainly I don't want you to bring dessert because I spent an hour that day making a pie from scratch. I will drink your wine either that night or in the next couple weeks, or If I don't like it, I can easily regift it.

I have a drawer in our house fliled with junk that people bring - candles, cheese knives, merry xmas dishcloths, whatever else. My friends only want wine so I can never properly regift it. I throw it all out every year or so.

I seriously don't want anything other than wine.

There is no place to donate this? That seems like such a waste.

[Anonymous]

wine or flowers. pick one.

it's an invitation to dinner, don't overthink it. also, unless you know she likes candles/cutesy notepads/etc do not bring those items. For many of us it's just clutter, so in other words, "trash". This is an instance to be thoughtful, do not try to be creative and bring weird/useless/unwanted stuff.

[Anonymous]

When I invite someone over for dinner, I do it because I want them to come over for dinner, not bring me anything. I hate that people feel an obligation to spend money after I'VE been the one to extend an invitation. I'm neither cheap nor thoughtless, but I absolutely hate this social convention. What's wrong with just inviting someone over?

[Anonymous]

If someone were coming to my house for dinner, I would love something other than wine (I feel it's boring and we don't drink alcohol so I would just be annoyed to receive this). I would prefer fancy soap, a dessert or side dish for the dinner, pretty candle, etc. I have no interest in cooking-related gifts (olive oil, etc.) unless it was a cookbook.

[Anonymous]

I don't really drink, so I would prefer chocolates from a local shop. I generally know if my friends are chocolate people or wine people.

[Anonymous]

I'm in the "only bring wine" camp. Please no flowers or plants b.c my cats will eat them then barf in the middle of the night! (And lots of plants are toxic)

[Anonymous]

I also think wine is best. I'm frugal, and I really most appreciate things that save me having to buy it myself. If you bring wine you like, I'll serve it! Win-win!

[Anonymous]

Beautiful chocolates- they can keep or share for dessert.

[Anonymous]

a bottle of JP Insignia.

[Anonymous]

I always respond to the email and mention what I'm planning to bring so they have a heads up. Usually a bottle of wine and a dessert (either fruit salad or a cake).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I invite someone over for dinner, I do it because I want them to come over for dinner, not bring me anything. I hate that people feel an obligation to spend money after I'VE been the one to extend an invitation. I'm neither cheap nor thoughtless, but I absolutely hate this social convention. What's wrong with just inviting someone over?

This is called being polite. You never go to someone's home empty handed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get mothers macaroons in Arlington, or some chocolate or flowers.

Mothers Macaroons has been closed for over a year, but there is a good artisan chocolate shop that you might like

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always respond to the email and mention what I'm planning to bring so they have a heads up. Usually a bottle of wine and a dessert (either fruit salad or a cake).

I sure as hell hope you *ask* if dessert would be appreciated. I make dessert, and I do thoughtful dinners with planned menus. If someone shows up with whatever dessert and now I have to put it out on the table, I can't tell you how annoying this is. And it's doubly worse when they just bought dessert somewhere and bring it in the packaging.

When my friends email and say "what can I bring? dessert, side dish? alcohol" (the emails are always a variation of that) I say "No food, please, we are good. You don't need to bring anything, but I wont' say no to wine!" or something like that.

[Anonymous]

Almost always wine. The only occasions where I stay away from wine are when it's the home of someone who really knows wine (I have a few reliable go tos for hostess gifts but I don't know much about wine) or if it's a daytime/kiddo event where wine would be out of place. Then I would flowers, a small plant, or a pretty sweet treat (either home baked or from a gourmet store depending on the situation).

[Anonymous]

NO dessert!
A nice little box of chocolates or a nice wine, given with a comment about how it's for the host to enjoy st some point in the future. People who don't drink wine can/should regift it.