What is it with this spate of cheating husbands in the news lately?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I'm the PP who write about being married to an older man. It is truly shocking the assumptions people make. FWIW, my husband has never been accused of cheating, either by me or his former wife, though she cheated on him regularly from at least two decades. But he's a man, so let's blame him. In reality, like in all relationships, I'm sure he played his fair share in the disintegration of their marriage. In the end, though, she left him, for her long time boyfriend. His grown son and daughter have each independently told me that they wish their father had left before their mother had the chance to kick him in the teeth as much as she did, but I'm sure some of the readers of this thread would find a way to make that his fault as well. As for trading up, he is by all accounts much happier with me, but his former wife is simply stunning, so no trading up in that department. I've had more opportunities for academic and professional success, though, so perhaps he has "traded up" in that sense, but hopefully that's not what he's looking for in a partner. he is, though quite proud of my accomplishments. Perhaps time to trade in some assumptions.

To clarify, you didn't "write about being married to an older man." Instead, you identified yourself as a "hottie," which is one of the saddest and most pathetic things I've read on DCUM. So following it up with this post just makes it worse.

Plus, there are many women in my neighborhood who are in their thirties and even forties who look like younger hotties. So I'm not really sure if you're hubby "traded up." I know a lot of gorgeous women, and I don't trust people who call themselves young hotties - they are usually cheeseballs.

Plus your hatred of your husband's first wife is really scary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I'm the PP who write about being married to an older man. It is truly shocking the assumptions people make. FWIW, my husband has never been accused of cheating, either by me or his former wife, though she cheated on him regularly from at least two decades. But he's a man, so let's blame him. In reality, like in all relationships, I'm sure he played his fair share in the disintegration of their marriage. In the end, though, she left him, for her long time boyfriend. His grown son and daughter have each independently told me that they wish their father had left before their mother had the chance to kick him in the teeth as much as she did, but I'm sure some of the readers of this thread would find a way to make that his fault as well. As for trading up, he is by all accounts much happier with me, but his former wife is simply stunning, so no trading up in that department. I've had more opportunities for academic and professional success, though, so perhaps he has "traded up" in that sense, but hopefully that's not what he's looking for in a partner. he is, though quite proud of my accomplishments. Perhaps time to trade in some assumptions.

To clarify, you didn't "write about being married to an older man." Instead, you identified yourself as a "hottie," which is one of the saddest and most pathetic things I've read on DCUM. So following it up with this post just makes it worse.

Plus, there are many women in my neighborhood who are in their thirties and even forties who look like younger hotties. So I'm not really sure if you're hubby "traded up." I know a lot of gorgeous women, and I don't trust people who call themselves young hotties - they are usually cheeseballs.

Plus your hatred of your husband's first wife is really scary.

HA HA HA HA HA - You got TOLD 12:02!!!!

[Anonymous]

Yes, I sure got "told." I used the word "hottie" because that was the word being used in earlier posts to describe attractive women who are younger than their husbands. It's not a word that I word have picked out of the blue, but I was trying to make the point that the stereotypes being put out there aren't necessarily true, hence using the stereotype term "hottie" from the earlier posts and then describing how the stereotype that term evokes does not fit my relationship. To the PP who said I did not write about being married to an older man, I specifically stated that I was married to an older man, what a great guy he is, an how glad I am to be married to him.

For clarification, I don't hate my husband's former wife, and I don't know how anyone would get that impression from reading my postings. I barely know her, and I didn't know him while they were married so I don't know anything about their relationship other than what I've heard second-hand. And as for attractive women in their thirties and forties, of course there are beautiful women of all ages. In fact, I noted that my husband's former wife, who is significantly older than I am, is stunning, truly stunning. How would anyone reading my posts get the impression that I don't think that older women are beautiful?

All I have been trying to communicate is that relationships don't necessarily fit stereotypes, and that the stereotypes invoked in describing older men married to attractive younger women on this thread are pretty offensive. One of the earlier posters stated that the only reason an attractive younger woman would be with an out-of-shape older man is because she had been "bought." Other posters assume that older men married to attractive younger women "traded in" their first wives. These are simply offensive stereotypes. My husband did "buy" me, and he does not believe in "trading in" a spouse. What is so offensive about my raising these truly disgusting assumptions? Imagine the outrage on DCUM if someone said that an out-of-shape woman must have "bought" her attractive spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I'm the PP who write about being married to an older man. It is truly shocking the assumptions people make. FWIW, my husband has never been accused of cheating, either by me or his former wife, though she cheated on him regularly from at least two decades. But he's a man, so let's blame him. In reality, like in all relationships, I'm sure he played his fair share in the disintegration of their marriage. In the end, though, she left him, for her long time boyfriend. His grown son and daughter have each independently told me that they wish their father had left before their mother had the chance to kick him in the teeth as much as she did, but I'm sure some of the readers of this thread would find a way to make that his fault as well. As for trading up, he is by all accounts much happier with me, but his former wife is simply stunning, so no trading up in that department. I've had more opportunities for academic and professional success, though, so perhaps he has "traded up" in that sense, but hopefully that's not what he's looking for in a partner. he is, though quite proud of my accomplishments. Perhaps time to trade in some assumptions.

To clarify, you didn't "write about being married to an older man." Instead, you identified yourself as a "hottie," which is one of the saddest and most pathetic things I've read on DCUM. So following it up with this post just makes it worse.

Plus, there are many women in my neighborhood who are in their thirties and even forties who look like younger hotties. So I'm not really sure if you're hubby "traded up." I know a lot of gorgeous women, and I don't trust people who call themselves young hotties - they are usually cheeseballs.

Plus your hatred of your husband's first wife is really scary.

jealous much?

[Anonymous]

Mrs. Hottie's inability to relate to our low opinion of men in general suggests to me that they have treated her very differently because of her... well... hottiness. She really would have no idea, then, how vulnerable the more average among us are to their appearance-judging scorn. I guess that's a very clear case of the benefits of sexual selection for the fittest. Great for her. Still doesn't reflect nobly on the men who have showered her with affection in hopes of accessing her hottiness. That's what chivalry is for, after all, and lots of us don't see much of it.

Apparently her husband is such an alpha that he goes only from "stunning" to "young hottie" even though he's no hottie himself. My guess would also be that the man is well-heeled. Whether or not that's the source of Mrs. Hottie's attraction to him, he wouldn't otherwise have had the stones to seriously pursue her, given the age difference. Mrs. Hottie has very defensively told us that he appreciates her for her other qualities, which is reasonable, but I think it is unlikely that a man who once believed he was entitled to "stunning" would pursue anything less than "hottie". Those other qualities would probably not have given her a chance in the absence of hottiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mrs. Hottie's inability to relate to our low opinion of men in general suggests to me that they have treated her very differently because of her... well... hottiness. She really would have no idea, then, how vulnerable the more average among us are to their appearance-judging scorn. I guess that's a very clear case of the benefits of sexual selection for the fittest. Great for her. Still doesn't reflect nobly on the men who have showered her with affection in hopes of accessing her hottiness. That's what chivalry is for, after all, and lots of us don't see much of it.

Apparently her husband is such an alpha that he goes only from "stunning" to "young hottie" even though he's no hottie himself. My guess would also be that the man is well-heeled. Whether or not that's the source of Mrs. Hottie's attraction to him, he wouldn't otherwise have had the stones to seriously pursue her, given the age difference. Mrs. Hottie has very defensively told us that he appreciates her for her other qualities, which is reasonable, but I think it is unlikely that a man who once believed he was entitled to "stunning" would pursue anything less than "hottie". Those other qualities would probably not have given her a chance in the absence of hottiness.

You're in the wrong thread! Go back to the other thread, you are wittier there!!! Please?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I'm the PP who write about being married to an older man. It is truly shocking the assumptions people make. FWIW, my husband has never been accused of cheating, either by me or his former wife, though she cheated on him regularly from at least two decades. But he's a man, so let's blame him. In reality, like in all relationships, I'm sure he played his fair share in the disintegration of their marriage. In the end, though, she left him, for her long time boyfriend. His grown son and daughter have each independently told me that they wish their father had left before their mother had the chance to kick him in the teeth as much as she did, but I'm sure some of the readers of this thread would find a way to make that his fault as well. As for trading up, he is by all accounts much happier with me, but his former wife is simply stunning, so no trading up in that department. I've had more opportunities for academic and professional success, though, so perhaps he has "traded up" in that sense, but hopefully that's not what he's looking for in a partner. he is, though quite proud of my accomplishments. Perhaps time to trade in some assumptions.

To clarify, you didn't "write about being married to an older man." Instead, you identified yourself as a "hottie," which is one of the saddest and most pathetic things I've read on DCUM. So following it up with this post just makes it worse.

Plus, there are many women in my neighborhood who are in their thirties and even forties who look like younger hotties. So I'm not really sure if you're hubby "traded up." I know a lot of gorgeous women, and I don't trust people who call themselves young hotties - they are usually cheeseballs.

Plus your hatred of your husband's first wife is really scary.

jealous much?

Nope, I'm happy with my marriage and my looks - and would never ever marry an old guy! Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

All I have been trying to communicate is that relationships don't necessarily fit stereotypes, and that the stereotypes invoked in describing older men married to attractive younger women on this thread are pretty offensive. One of the earlier posters stated that the only reason an attractive younger woman would be with an out-of-shape older man is because she had been "bought." Other posters assume that older men married to attractive younger women "traded in" their first wives. These are simply offensive stereotypes. My husband did "buy" me, and he does not believe in "trading in" a spouse. What is so offensive about my raising these truly disgusting assumptions? Imagine the outrage on DCUM if someone said that an out-of-shape woman must have "bought" her attractive spouse?

Freudian slip?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Nope, I'm happy with my marriage and my looks - and would never ever marry an old guy! Gross.

Reminds me of the Adam Sandler movie Big Daddy, where Sonny says to the ex-gf (who was a Hooters girl turned doctor, LOL) :
"Hey! You just made the biggest mistake of your life, baby. I know you're gunna be missing me when you have that big, white, wrinkly body on you with his loose skin and old balls... gross! Ugh! "

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

All I have been trying to communicate is that relationships don't necessarily fit stereotypes, and that the stereotypes invoked in describing older men married to attractive younger women on this thread are pretty offensive. One of the earlier posters stated that the only reason an attractive younger woman would be with an out-of-shape older man is because she had been "bought." Other posters assume that older men married to attractive younger women "traded in" their first wives. These are simply offensive stereotypes. My husband did "buy" me, and he does not believe in "trading in" a spouse. What is so offensive about my raising these truly disgusting assumptions? Imagine the outrage on DCUM if someone said that an out-of-shape woman must have "bought" her attractive spouse?

Freudian slip?

typo?