Any change in your boarding student?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For parents whose children boarded out of state, and they were home infrequently, did that cause any problems? Did they give up any activities or instruments they were committed to? Or drop in grades? Or drop in ethics? Our child is considering away schools but we want to be sure the academic benefits do not come at a cost to rest of the person.

no, in fact the opposite happened. But choose the school wisely.

Ok, glad it went well for you. We are Considering Lawrenceville, Andover, Groton, St Paul, and possibly Exeter. Tough acceptance ratrs, otherwise we would cut the list in half. I hear other folks apply to a dozen instead of a half dozen, just to get one or two acceptances. But I think we know which one we like.

I went to one of these schools. It can be an amazing experience for the right kid. Kid needs to be social, independent and interested in going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For parents whose children boarded out of state, and they were home infrequently, did that cause any problems? Did they give up any activities or instruments they were committed to? Or drop in grades? Or drop in ethics? Our child is considering away schools but we want to be sure the academic benefits do not come at a cost to rest of the person.

I think you know the answer in your heart, op. Of course sending a kid off to another state at that age is like sending them off to college. Every friend I know that went to boarding school is not sending their child to boarding school. I think that speaks volumes.

I suspect its because of the staggering amount of tuition.

I went to a lauded NE boarding school and it was an incredible experience. But it was $15K in my era. No way I'm able to fund it for my kids now.

My husband went to boarding school. We can afford it. He would prefer to send our kids to his school but I told him it has to be their idea and they would have to be mature enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For parents whose children boarded out of state, and they were home infrequently, did that cause any problems? Did they give up any activities or instruments they were committed to? Or drop in grades? Or drop in ethics? Our child is considering away schools but we want to be sure the academic benefits do not come at a cost to rest of the person.

I think you know the answer in your heart, op. Of course sending a kid off to another state at that age is like sending them off to college. Every friend I know that went to boarding school is not sending their child to boarding school. I think that speaks volumes.

Not at All like college. Almost every minute is structured in boarding school, certainly m-th. Twice weekly sports are required at many, plus clubs. Ours was out of state, so only saw her on school breaks, occasional weekends but all of that was family time.
Not as expensive as you might think, unless you have to have top 10. Some have whopping scholarship endowments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For parents whose children boarded out of state, and they were home infrequently, did that cause any problems? Did they give up any activities or instruments they were committed to? Or drop in grades? Or drop in ethics? Our child is considering away schools but we want to be sure the academic benefits do not come at a cost to rest of the person.

I think you know the answer in your heart, op. Of course sending a kid off to another state at that age is like sending them off to college. Every friend I know that went to boarding school is not sending their child to boarding school. I think that speaks volumes.

Not at All like college. Almost every minute is structured in boarding school, certainly m-th. Twice weekly sports are required at many, plus clubs. Ours was out of state, so only saw her on school breaks, occasional weekends but all of that was family time.
Not as expensive as you might think, unless you have to have top 10. Some have whopping scholarship endowments.

True re: scholarships - - e.g., I've heard that St. Andrews in Delaware is free to admitted kids who have family income below a set amount. Strictly need based (unrelated to sports, etc.).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For parents whose children boarded out of state, and they were home infrequently, did that cause any problems? Did they give up any activities or instruments they were committed to? Or drop in grades? Or drop in ethics? Our child is considering away schools but we want to be sure the academic benefits do not come at a cost to rest of the person.

no, in fact the opposite happened. But choose the school wisely.

Ok, glad it went well for you. We are Considering Lawrenceville, Andover, Groton, St Paul, and possibly Exeter. Tough acceptance ratrs, otherwise we would cut the list in half. I hear other folks apply to a dozen instead of a half dozen, just to get one or two acceptances. But I think we know which one we like.

Check out St. Andrew's (DE).

[Anonymous]

Do the sexual abuse scandals give anyone else pause? I was more pro-boarding school before they started coming out in droves. I realize things can happen anywhere but there have been so, so many.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do the sexual abuse scandals give anyone else pause? I was more pro-boarding school before they started coming out in droves. I realize things can happen anywhere but there have been so, so many.

This. Unfortunately, it seems like it's increasing the risk significantly by having your child sleep sleep outside of the home every night of the school year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no answer to this....every kid is different

Of course there's an answer: has YOUR boarding student changed? Possible answers are: yes, no , maybe

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do the sexual abuse scandals give anyone else pause? I was more pro-boarding school before they started coming out in droves. I realize things can happen anywhere but there have been so, so many.

This. Unfortunately, it seems like it's increasing the risk significantly by having your child sleep sleep outside of the home every night of the school year.

It concerned me but then I started thinking about the stats, and the years gone by and the changes, and so forth. When I went to boarding school, all my mom did was ask me 'Do you know a lesbian is?' That was the whole talk in one sentence. At this point, the teenagers who are going to "get together" might not be any higher for away students. As for major- minor, the scandals are surfacing these last years, but it was for incidents before criminal checks on staff. Yes, not a perfect world, but at some point you have to trust your kid, and I am trying.

[Anonymous]

You are sending them out into the world early if you decide on boarding. They will determine for themselves what to make of the experience and much has to do with the school culture as a whole, since they will be completely influenced by the people and ideas that are expressed as norms around them 24 hours a day.
I did as a kid and would never send my children, regardless of academics. Do you live somewhere that has no decent day only option? If there is a decent day school option take that and be an actual presence in your child's life for the last four years. They really need you at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do the sexual abuse scandals give anyone else pause? I was more pro-boarding school before they started coming out in droves. I realize things can happen anywhere but there have been so, so many.

This. Unfortunately, it seems like it's increasing the risk significantly by having your child sleep sleep outside of the home every night of the school year.

It concerned me but then I started thinking about the stats, and the years gone by and the changes, and so forth. When I went to boarding school, all my mom did was ask me 'Do you know a lesbian is?' That was the whole talk in one sentence. At this point, the teenagers who are going to "get together" might not be any higher for away students. As for major- minor, the scandals are surfacing these last years, but it was for incidents before criminal checks on staff. Yes, not a perfect world, but at some point you have to trust your kid, and I am trying.

There was much more opportunity for sexual behavior at boarding school!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are sending them out into the world early if you decide on boarding. They will determine for themselves what to make of the experience and much has to do with the school culture as a whole, since they will be completely influenced by the people and ideas that are expressed as norms around them 24 hours a day.
I did as a kid and would never send my children, regardless of academics. Do you live somewhere that has no decent day only option? If there is a decent day school option take that and be an actual presence in your child's life for the last four years. They really need you at this point.

OP here. I get your point loud and clear, "I feel you're pain". But extenuating family circumstances here. There are chucks in place to help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do the sexual abuse scandals give anyone else pause? I was more pro-boarding school before they started coming out in droves. I realize things can happen anywhere but there have been so, so many.

This. Unfortunately, it seems like it's increasing the risk significantly by having your child sleep sleep outside of the home every night of the school year.

It concerned me but then I started thinking about the stats, and the years gone by and the changes, and so forth. When I went to boarding school, all my mom did was ask me 'Do you know a lesbian is?' That was the whole talk in one sentence. At this point, the teenagers who are going to "get together" might not be any higher for away students. As for major- minor, the scandals are surfacing these last years, but it was for incidents before criminal checks on staff. Yes, not a perfect world, but at some point you have to trust your kid, and I am trying.

There was much more opportunity for sexual behavior at boarding school!!

Opportunity seems to vary with school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are sending them out into the world early if you decide on boarding. They will determine for themselves what to make of the experience and much has to do with the school culture as a whole, since they will be completely influenced by the people and ideas that are expressed as norms around them 24 hours a day.
I did as a kid and would never send my children, regardless of academics. Do you live somewhere that has no decent day only option? If there is a decent day school option take that and be an actual presence in your child's life for the last four years. They really need you at this point.

While I think some teens do need parents 24/7, others really don't, although some parents I think need to believe that for themselves. Boarding school can provide a healthy separation for some at a time when kids are naturally breaking away from parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are sending them out into the world early if you decide on boarding. They will determine for themselves what to make of the experience and much has to do with the school culture as a whole, since they will be completely influenced by the people and ideas that are expressed as norms around them 24 hours a day.
I did as a kid and would never send my children, regardless of academics. Do you live somewhere that has no decent day only option? If there is a decent day school option take that and be an actual presence in your child's life for the last four years. They really need you at this point.

It sounds like your parents took no interest in you. Might that have solved your problem?