Is this ADD, social immaturity or something else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child has always been a little different, but she has been happy so we didn't think her little quirks were a big deal. Until recently - we had a call from the school counselor recommending that our child (9 yo - 4th grade) get evaluated. We have already scheduled an appt with her pediatrician because we are noticing some behaviors that are beyond "quirks".

-She prefers to play with younger kids at school and frequently sits with younger kids on the bus.
-Acts giddy alot - changes her voice or gets loud, tries too hard to fit in and this is turning kids off.
-She is starting to have issues connecting with her peers - I wouldn't call her shy, but she tends to stay quiet in conversations because she doesn't know what to say. My husband and I are not eloquent speakers and I struggle getting my point across so this could be hereditary. When she talks to kids, she leaves out important details and sometimes doesn't make a lot sense.
-She has always experienced pain more deeply than others - things that most kids brush off would have her wailing in pain. We thought she was just trying to get attention.
-She seems to have hard time focusing and remembering things. I thought it was typical kid behavior but now I am not so sure.
-She is developing a lot of anxiety, worries and fears (dying, getting bad grades)
-She is afraid to rock the boat, share her opinion, or do anything that might hurt someone else's feelings or make them mad, even if it is for her own good. For example, she has a classmate that is constantly lying to her but she won't step away from this relationship or call the girl out because she doesn't want her to get mad. A bad grade or teacher telling her to stop talking will upset her greatly.

Now that I have this all written down, I am mad at myself for not addressing some of these issues sooner, but she is such a sweet kid with a big heart and is generally very happy - I don't want her to change just to fit in, but now as she sits alone at lunch and can't keep or make friends, I just want to do what I can to help her.

I'd love to know what is in store for us when we first meet with a professional (any recs would be great in Montg County) and if anyone has a child who is similar.

Did the school counselor provide any insights? Everything you mention could be ADD and/or anxiety. Social immaturity is practically synonymous with attention deficits.
If you're going for a neuropsych- I would get a list of the types of tests they will administer and make sure you feel comfortable with the doctor. IQ testing, academic testing, executive functions, working memory tests, etc will be part of the evaluation. Our neuropsych contained the quotient test so we could feel confident with the diagnosis.
Teachers and parents will be asked to fill out social/behavioral observation surveys. The surveys were the point which I knew we were getting an ADHD diagnosis. Every kid is different, but there are core symptoms.
I'm sorry your daughter is having trouble with friends. My DS is also in fourth grade- he is immature and socially awkward compared to most kids his age- doesn't have any close friends at school.

A neuropsych seems like serious overkill for an issue that's mostly presenting as some social immaturity!!

Once it's affecting her quality of life -- her ability to learn in school and maintain friendships -- then comprehensive testing is not overkill.

pp here- these aren't only OP's observations. The school counselor recommended an evaluation.

OP here - I did say in my initial post that the counselor suggested she get evaluation, but this was mostly for her anxiety. I don't know if she meant a full evaluation as some are mentioning here. I personally think there is more to it than anxiety - and it is so subtle because she is the quiet, good kid, that no one is noticing that she isn't do well socially.

OP, I was one of the people who said I didn't see red flags but you should trust your gut and get more information from specialists. Even if they only end up ruling stuff out I think it might help you and your daughter, especially as she prepares for middle school which can be tricky for even very social and well adjusted kids.

I appreciate everyone's comments. I am curious to this one about not seeing red flags. Are the items I list out typical for a 4th grader? Maybe I am making this out to be more than it really it is. I worry a lot too and I would like to give her better coping skills. I also don't want to make things worse if this is just basically normal behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child has always been a little different, but she has been happy so we didn't think her little quirks were a big deal. Until recently - we had a call from the school counselor recommending that our child (9 yo - 4th grade) get evaluated. We have already scheduled an appt with her pediatrician because we are noticing some behaviors that are beyond "quirks".

-She prefers to play with younger kids at school and frequently sits with younger kids on the bus.
-Acts giddy alot - changes her voice or gets loud, tries too hard to fit in and this is turning kids off.
-She is starting to have issues connecting with her peers - I wouldn't call her shy, but she tends to stay quiet in conversations because she doesn't know what to say. My husband and I are not eloquent speakers and I struggle getting my point across so this could be hereditary. When she talks to kids, she leaves out important details and sometimes doesn't make a lot sense.
-She has always experienced pain more deeply than others - things that most kids brush off would have her wailing in pain. We thought she was just trying to get attention.
-She seems to have hard time focusing and remembering things. I thought it was typical kid behavior but now I am not so sure.
-She is developing a lot of anxiety, worries and fears (dying, getting bad grades)
-She is afraid to rock the boat, share her opinion, or do anything that might hurt someone else's feelings or make them mad, even if it is for her own good. For example, she has a classmate that is constantly lying to her but she won't step away from this relationship or call the girl out because she doesn't want her to get mad. A bad grade or teacher telling her to stop talking will upset her greatly.

Now that I have this all written down, I am mad at myself for not addressing some of these issues sooner, but she is such a sweet kid with a big heart and is generally very happy - I don't want her to change just to fit in, but now as she sits alone at lunch and can't keep or make friends, I just want to do what I can to help her.

I'd love to know what is in store for us when we first meet with a professional (any recs would be great in Montg County) and if anyone has a child who is similar.

Your description sounds like my DD when she was in 4th grade to a tee. She should have been evaluated then, and probably before. We got a diagnosis of ADHD with anxiety at the start of 5th grade (wish we'd had a more in depth eval, which I think is coming). She is now in 6th grade, and middle school is eating us all alive. I'd be as aggressive as you can be now, because if it is ADHD/anxiety, it has only gotten worse for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child has always been a little different, but she has been happy so we didn't think her little quirks were a big deal. Until recently - we had a call from the school counselor recommending that our child (9 yo - 4th grade) get evaluated. We have already scheduled an appt with her pediatrician because we are noticing some behaviors that are beyond "quirks".

-She prefers to play with younger kids at school and frequently sits with younger kids on the bus.
-Acts giddy alot - changes her voice or gets loud, tries too hard to fit in and this is turning kids off.
-She is starting to have issues connecting with her peers - I wouldn't call her shy, but she tends to stay quiet in conversations because she doesn't know what to say. My husband and I are not eloquent speakers and I struggle getting my point across so this could be hereditary. When she talks to kids, she leaves out important details and sometimes doesn't make a lot sense.
-She has always experienced pain more deeply than others - things that most kids brush off would have her wailing in pain. We thought she was just trying to get attention.
-She seems to have hard time focusing and remembering things. I thought it was typical kid behavior but now I am not so sure.
-She is developing a lot of anxiety, worries and fears (dying, getting bad grades)
-She is afraid to rock the boat, share her opinion, or do anything that might hurt someone else's feelings or make them mad, even if it is for her own good. For example, she has a classmate that is constantly lying to her but she won't step away from this relationship or call the girl out because she doesn't want her to get mad. A bad grade or teacher telling her to stop talking will upset her greatly.

Now that I have this all written down, I am mad at myself for not addressing some of these issues sooner, but she is such a sweet kid with a big heart and is generally very happy - I don't want her to change just to fit in, but now as she sits alone at lunch and can't keep or make friends, I just want to do what I can to help her.

I'd love to know what is in store for us when we first meet with a professional (any recs would be great in Montg County) and if anyone has a child who is similar.

Your description sounds like my DD when she was in 4th grade to a tee. She should have been evaluated then, and probably before. We got a diagnosis of ADHD with anxiety at the start of 5th grade (wish we'd had a more in depth eval, which I think is coming). She is now in 6th grade, and middle school is eating us all alive. I'd be as aggressive as you can be now, because if it is ADHD/anxiety, it has only gotten worse for us.

Get Kathleen Nadeau's book on ADHD in Girls. It is illuminating and most of your concerns are described in the book, even playing with younger kids and over acting, even in a positive "giddy" way. Being overly emotional is another one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am assuming your DD is in a private school? Is this correct?

She is in public - MCPS

Then I would check it out. The reason I asked, is that many private schools overreact and want only "perfect" kids. I said many, not all. My DS was in a private school in Kindergarten and his teacher ran after me the second day of school as I was leaving to ask me, "Does he not know his letter and numbers and basic reading and adding?" I said no, she acted like my DS was a Mowgli. I ended up changing schools down the road. Isn't it her job to teach him this? I understand that many parents teach their kids these things before, but that was not me. Playing was a priority for our family. I had experience with MoCo special ed, and they generally don't ask for evaluation unless they really, really think it is needed. I mean my DD had all Cs and they were there is no problem, she is doing good. I tried to explain that she studies day and night and the results are not there, but no take. So hence, it seems that MCPS will pay for it, so go for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child has always been a little different, but she has been happy so we didn't think her little quirks were a big deal. Until recently - we had a call from the school counselor recommending that our child (9 yo - 4th grade) get evaluated. We have already scheduled an appt with her pediatrician because we are noticing some behaviors that are beyond "quirks".

-She prefers to play with younger kids at school and frequently sits with younger kids on the bus.
-Acts giddy alot - changes her voice or gets loud, tries too hard to fit in and this is turning kids off.
-She is starting to have issues connecting with her peers - I wouldn't call her shy, but she tends to stay quiet in conversations because she doesn't know what to say. My husband and I are not eloquent speakers and I struggle getting my point across so this could be hereditary. When she talks to kids, she leaves out important details and sometimes doesn't make a lot sense.
-She has always experienced pain more deeply than others - things that most kids brush off would have her wailing in pain. We thought she was just trying to get attention.
-She seems to have hard time focusing and remembering things. I thought it was typical kid behavior but now I am not so sure.
-She is developing a lot of anxiety, worries and fears (dying, getting bad grades)
-She is afraid to rock the boat, share her opinion, or do anything that might hurt someone else's feelings or make them mad, even if it is for her own good. For example, she has a classmate that is constantly lying to her but she won't step away from this relationship or call the girl out because she doesn't want her to get mad. A bad grade or teacher telling her to stop talking will upset her greatly.

Now that I have this all written down, I am mad at myself for not addressing some of these issues sooner, but she is such a sweet kid with a big heart and is generally very happy - I don't want her to change just to fit in, but now as she sits alone at lunch and can't keep or make friends, I just want to do what I can to help her.

I'd love to know what is in store for us when we first meet with a professional (any recs would be great in Montg County) and if anyone has a child who is similar.

Your description sounds like my DD when she was in 4th grade to a tee. She should have been evaluated then, and probably before. We got a diagnosis of ADHD with anxiety at the start of 5th grade (wish we'd had a more in depth eval, which I think is coming). She is now in 6th grade, and middle school is eating us all alive. I'd be as aggressive as you can be now, because if it is ADHD/anxiety, it has only gotten worse for us.

Is your daughter being treated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child has always been a little different, but she has been happy so we didn't think her little quirks were a big deal. Until recently - we had a call from the school counselor recommending that our child (9 yo - 4th grade) get evaluated. We have already scheduled an appt with her pediatrician because we are noticing some behaviors that are beyond "quirks".

-She prefers to play with younger kids at school and frequently sits with younger kids on the bus.
-Acts giddy alot - changes her voice or gets loud, tries too hard to fit in and this is turning kids off.
-She is starting to have issues connecting with her peers - I wouldn't call her shy, but she tends to stay quiet in conversations because she doesn't know what to say. My husband and I are not eloquent speakers and I struggle getting my point across so this could be hereditary. When she talks to kids, she leaves out important details and sometimes doesn't make a lot sense.
-She has always experienced pain more deeply than others - things that most kids brush off would have her wailing in pain. We thought she was just trying to get attention.
-She seems to have hard time focusing and remembering things. I thought it was typical kid behavior but now I am not so sure.
-She is developing a lot of anxiety, worries and fears (dying, getting bad grades)
-She is afraid to rock the boat, share her opinion, or do anything that might hurt someone else's feelings or make them mad, even if it is for her own good. For example, she has a classmate that is constantly lying to her but she won't step away from this relationship or call the girl out because she doesn't want her to get mad. A bad grade or teacher telling her to stop talking will upset her greatly.

Now that I have this all written down, I am mad at myself for not addressing some of these issues sooner, but she is such a sweet kid with a big heart and is generally very happy - I don't want her to change just to fit in, but now as she sits alone at lunch and can't keep or make friends, I just want to do what I can to help her.

I'd love to know what is in store for us when we first meet with a professional (any recs would be great in Montg County) and if anyone has a child who is similar.

Your description sounds like my DD when she was in 4th grade to a tee. She should have been evaluated then, and probably before. We got a diagnosis of ADHD with anxiety at the start of 5th grade (wish we'd had a more in depth eval, which I think is coming). She is now in 6th grade, and middle school is eating us all alive. I'd be as aggressive as you can be now, because if it is ADHD/anxiety, it has only gotten worse for us.

Get Kathleen Nadeau's book on ADHD in Girls. It is illuminating and most of your concerns are described in the book, even playing with younger kids and over acting, even in a positive "giddy" way. Being overly emotional is another one.

Is ADHD similar to ADD - my daughter isn't hyper as I know it. No problems sitting still.