O/T Question on Grandparents and School

[Anonymous]

Are you trying to figure out why someone would do this! Kindly, it's no one's business. At our school, there are a few grandparents who are primary caregivers.

[Anonymous]

I don't have any idea why he would do that. My parents are very involved with my children but live 500 miles away. I think it is crazy that DH has them listed as emergency contacts, with others. I would never add them to the teacher's list. It would be different if they were local and could volunteer in class but they are not.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. And both sets of our parents live nearby.

Boundaries, people!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you trying to figure out why someone would do this! Kindly, it's no one's business. At our school, there are a few grandparents who are primary caregivers.

I'm the PP who objected . . . but yes, this makes complete sense to me.

If OP is trying to figure out/judge why someone else has included grandparents on the class email list, I agree. MYOB.

If OP's parents are pressuring her to add them to the list and she doesn't want to do it, I encourage her to follow her gut and say no.

Adult children are entitled to choose their own boundaries. They're also entitled to enlist their parents' help if they wish. Different strokes for different folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you trying to figure out why someone would do this! Kindly, it's no one's business. At our school, there are a few grandparents who are primary caregivers.

I'm the PP who objected . . . but yes, this makes complete sense to me.

If OP is trying to figure out/judge why someone else has included grandparents on the class email list, I agree. MYOB.

If OP's parents are pressuring her to add them to the list and she doesn't want to do it, I encourage her to follow her gut and say no.

Adult children are entitled to choose their own boundaries. They're also entitled to enlist their parents' help if they wish. Different strokes for different folks.

This is OP, I'm not trying to figure out why other people do this. It is not my business. I am however trying to figure out why my ex, who's parents live across the country, adds his parents to every school communication, including ones that are mundane and unnecessary. Particularly since my ex has a history of mentally abusive behavior with me. I wanted to know if that was normal, or if others would feel irked, as I had.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you trying to figure out why someone would do this! Kindly, it's no one's business. At our school, there are a few grandparents who are primary caregivers.

I'm the PP who objected . . . but yes, this makes complete sense to me.

If OP is trying to figure out/judge why someone else has included grandparents on the class email list, I agree. MYOB.

If OP's parents are pressuring her to add them to the list and she doesn't want to do it, I encourage her to follow her gut and say no.

Adult children are entitled to choose their own boundaries. They're also entitled to enlist their parents' help if they wish. Different strokes for different folks.

This is OP, I'm not trying to figure out why other people do this. It is not my business. I am however trying to figure out why my ex, who's parents live across the country, adds his parents to every school communication, including ones that are mundane and unnecessary. Particularly since my ex has a history of mentally abusive behavior with me. I wanted to know if that was normal, or if others would feel irked, as I had.

Damn, WHOSE, now who's. I need coffee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not. And both sets of our parents live nearby.

Boundaries, people!

And the grandparents are on a need to know basis as it is.

Just this school year, I removed my ILs from emergency contact list and replaced them with close (mom) friends. ILs are easily confused and flaky, so it's best this way.

[Anonymous]

Nope. My parents are somewhat involved (some rides home from school, grandparents day)and live close, but I do not want them to be that involved. I don't think they'd want those emails either.

[Anonymous]

My parents live nearby and are very involved. They are my emergency contacts, but I would be very unhappy if they put themselves on the class email list. I guess they are welcome to put themselves on the whole-school list (it's open to anyone in the community) but the class list feels more personal to me.

(And grandparents who are a child's primary caretaker are a different story. But presumably OP knows that her ex's parents are not her child's primary caretakers).