I think my son is going to intentionally bomb his college interviews and/or essays...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will not let him follow less accomplished friends to a party college. Period. End of story.

The issue is he thinks he's clever enough to get rejected and have to go to the party school, or if he thinks we're bluffing and will pay no matter what.

Let him know that the party school is not an option on the table, and you'll expect him to work part-time and take community college courses for a year and then try again.

[Anonymous]

If I caught him intentionally ruining college apps I'd tell him to have fun working full time next year and watching his friends have fun at college from our couch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will not let him follow less accomplished friends to a party college. Period. End of story.

The issue is he thinks he's clever enough to get rejected and have to go to the party school, or if he thinks we're bluffing and will pay no matter what.

Let him know that the party school is not an option on the table, and you'll expect him to work part-time and take community college courses for a year and then try again.

Yep. That is what we did.

[Anonymous]

How did you discover this dastardly plot?

[Anonymous]

I know a family where the kid said he applied to schools xyz, but when April rolled around and no letters came (either acceptance or rejection), then the parents discovered he had lied about applying. (I really don't know how he managed to mislead them in the fall).

I also know a family where the kid was off at grad school, parents paying for it, and an entire year went by where the kid had basically dropped out but the parents didn't know and continued to pay and send him room/board.

These are cautionary tales because in both cases, it was the parent's desire -- neither kid wanted to be at school. Not excusing what the kids did, but just relaying what I've seen happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What schools still have interviews that impact admissions?

Interviews may not get you admitted but it can get you rejected.

Which schools still do interviews? We have not come across any, including the Ivies we have investigated.

Seriously? Georgetown requires them. Many SLACs encourage them like Bates, Wesleyan, Trinity, Bowdoin, Oberlin, Dickinson, Haverford, Hamilton, Swarthmore, Kenyon...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids who are unlikely to "present" well in interviews, for whatever reason, shouldn't interview. So, he shouldn't interview.

I don't know what to say about the rest of this. It sounds like you think he is a candidate for more selective schools, which suggests he must have decent grades, decent class rigor, and decent test scores. It seems weird that a kid would have put in the effort to accomplish those things but decide now to purposefully tank his application essays?

If you don't think he's mature enough to realize that the purpose of college is to get an education, not to party, then you should be thinking about a gap year or some time in CC before moving on to a 4-year college.

You can't make him care or want the same things you want. But you don't have to pay for what he wants.

This OP. He will soon be an adult. I did go to college with students who were forced to be there by their parents and/or forced to major in something they didn't like. One decided to just drop out and go to community college so she could become a nurse instead of a business major (and just pay for it herself) and the other decided to pick the easiest major he could get away with and party as much as he wanted, but stay at the college his parents wanted him to attend. He will figure out a way to do what he wants to do eventually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What schools still have interviews that impact admissions?

Interviews may not get you admitted but it can get you rejected.

Which schools still do interviews? We have not come across any, including the Ivies we have investigated.

Seriously? Georgetown requires them. Many SLACs encourage them like Bates, Wesleyan, Trinity, Bowdoin, Oberlin, Dickinson, Haverford, Hamilton, Swarthmore, Kenyon...

What if you can't visit the school? I know I won't have a lot of money to visit schools so if you can't visit the school, can you interview with alumni?

[Anonymous]

Just make sure you're upfront about your expectations and what you will/won't pay for. At this stage of his life your kid has to make and take responsibility for his own decision; the most you can do is help him make an informed one. If he knows that what he wants just flat out isn't an option as financed by you, he may decide to make a genuine effort to get into one of the colleges you consider acceptable. Alternatively, if he wants to go somewhere you won't pay for, he might decide to figure out how to get in and pay for it himself.

Not that it's particularly my business, but I think that your attitude and the way you approach finances as a means of control might backfire. I hope I'm wrong, and I wish you and your son the best of luck in the college process; hopefully he gets in somewhere acceptable to all involved, where he's happy & thrives.

[Anonymous]

OP - I do not know you or your son but if I were in your shoes I would talk to him and discuss three paths he could take:
1. He could apply to the more selective colleges. Not because you expect him to but because he has worked hard in high school and has the grades/stats that prove he would be a good candidate for these colleges.
2. If he is a good student but he is burned out or does not want to attend a high pressure, competitive college, perhaps you ought to be open minded and allow him to apply to schools where he would get a good education even if they are not highly ranked or prestigious.
3. He takes a gap year and applies next Fall

I am with you about not wanting him to attend a "party" school but I don't understand why the only options are selective vs. party school. I agree with the previous posters who have encouraged you not to use money as a tool to get him to do what you want- that will backfire.
If you have a slightly immature high school senior I would be equally worried about sending him to a party school or a high pressure environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What schools still have interviews that impact admissions?

Interviews may not get you admitted but it can get you rejected.

Which schools still do interviews? We have not come across any, including the Ivies we have investigated.

Seriously? Georgetown requires them. Many SLACs encourage them like Bates, Wesleyan, Trinity, Bowdoin, Oberlin, Dickinson, Haverford, Hamilton, Swarthmore, Kenyon...

We currently have kids at 2 HYPs. All had interviews. Don't know if they were required but they seemed like a regular part of the process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What schools still have interviews that impact admissions?

Interviews may not get you admitted but it can get you rejected.

Which schools still do interviews? We have not come across any, including the Ivies we have investigated.

Seriously? Georgetown requires them. Many SLACs encourage them like Bates, Wesleyan, Trinity, Bowdoin, Oberlin, Dickinson, Haverford, Hamilton, Swarthmore, Kenyon...

What if you can't visit the school? I know I won't have a lot of money to visit schools so if you can't visit the school, can you interview with alumni?

Yes, alumni interviews are one option (that is the only way Georgetown does them). Some schools have "interview days" when their reps are visiting a particular city/area. For example, Bowdoin just announced their admissions office is hosting one with local alumni on Oct. 2nd in Alexandria.

[Anonymous]

I thought graduate school was more important than undergrad

[Anonymous]

Why do you think that, exactly?
I can't imagine of a child who has worked hard and made sacrifices not do the last lap. Unless you forced him to apply to these schools?

[Anonymous]

OP here. Party school because that's where a large chunk of his friends are heading. If everything was left up to him it's the only college he'd apply to. Total follower.